If you’re someone who deeply self-reflects, you need to be very aware of something crucial for which most people are not aware of., ... Most people project!

This is an incredibly important awareness to cultivate because you might mistakenly self-reflect on their projections, thinking that they, too, are engaging in honest introspection.

You can easily get lost in this confusing loop of self-questioning, often based on people gaslighting you or subtly inducing self-doubt, simply because they are unwilling or unable to turn the mirror toward themselves.

So, before you consider what someone else says to you about yourself, first of all, be absolutely sure that it comes from a person who is not only able to take accountability for themselves, but is also genuinely in the state of mind of trying to understand you, rather than judge.

Understand that many people are not willing to confront their own flaws or turn the mirror to themselves. They don't care if they induce self-doubt and mental fog in you, as long as it helps them get away from their own wrong-doing. Not to forget those who know you are someone who self-reflects, and are simply using that very quality against you to manipulate you.

Self-awareness is beautiful, a powerful tool for personal growth. But that being said, external awareness—awareness of others' patterns and intentions—is just as important, if not more so, in order not to fall into other people's toxic traps. This commitment to truth, even when uncomfortable, allows you to live with unfiltered emotions and clarity.

#UnfilteredEmotions #MyxUsama #SelfReflection #NoProjection #AwarenessIsPower #Gaslighting #ProtectYourPeace #MentalClarity #EmotionalIntelligence #TrustYourself

My mother confessed to me that the man who I thought was my uncle all my life was actually my brother, my elder brother.

Charles is my son, My first son; Your Brother!. My mother confessed to me.

How do you mean mom? What do you mean? How is that possible? I asked my mother. It's a long story Ayochidi, I will tell you all about it, but now I just have to get out of here and go confront Chief Okoye. My mother said to me.

How are you going to do that? I asked my mother. I will figure something out. She replied me. Mom, why you are figuring something out, I need to know how come Uncle Charles is my brother. Does he even know that you are his mother? I asked my mother. But instead I saw tears coming out of her eyes. He doesn't. My mother replied.

Why is everything about my family fvvcked up this bad. Why is everything difficult? I yelled at my mother.

Calm down. Ayochidi. Olivia said to me. The warden is monitoring my behavior.

Should I even believe that you are my mother? I asked my mother. Ayochidi the warden is looking at you. Calm down. Olivia said to me.

I'm your mother. Joyce said to me. I can't believe that. At this point I need a DNA test. I can't believe what ever word that comes out of your mouth. You have no difference with Angela or even Chief Okoye, All you guys do is lie upon lie. I don't even know who to believe anymore. I said.

Is everything alright here? The warden came and asked me. I nodded to yes. Everything is alright. Joyce said.

Everything is not alright. I'm out of here. I said as I left the prison.

Ayochidi I think you are overreacting, I mean your mother must have a reason for hiding the identity of Charles all this time. Olivia said to me.

She has no right, No one does. I won't blame you because you ain't in my shoes right now. I said to Olivia.

In your shoes? Really Ayochidi. Your shoes? I'm wearing the same exact shoes as you are, my life is in danger why because of I Love You. All because I care about you and here you are telling me about shoes? Shoes? Really? Shoes!. Olivia said and angrily went into the car.

At that point I realized I fvvcked up, But at the same time I was too angry apologize. I went into the car and Olivia didn't speak to me. She faced her side of the glass as I drove.

We drove back to Jide's house, Jide saw how angry Olivia is as she went upstairs to her room.

What happened? Jide asked me. Nothing just girls problem. Have you been able to track down Chief Okoye? I asked Jide. We are still working on that. Jide said.

It's seems like you are delaying, you are slowing down. You just have found and fished him out by now. I said to Jide. If it was that easy why don't you fish him out yourself Ayochidi? Guy don't shift your relationship problems to me. I don't know what is going on between you and your girl but I think you should go and apologize. Jide said to me.

At first I was reluctant. But Jide left me to go meet his boys. After few minutes of standing alone, I finally went upstairs to meet Olivia.

I saw she was sitted on the bed still angry as I came in.

"I'm sorry for what I said, I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm wrong. Forgive me babe. I said to Olivia. Ayochidi what you said is wrong. I have been through this struggle, this war with you from day one, And gaslighting me like that isn't fair. Olivia said.

I'm sorry my love. It won't happen again. I said as I went close and kissed Olivia. The kiss followed an intense romance. We ended up making out and sleeping off.

We were sleeping off when Jide came into the room tapping me to wake up. Ayochidi wake up. Jide said and immediately I sprung up.

Come to the living room. Jide said. And immediately I followed Jide to the living room and then Olivia came down after.

It was a TV news. Chief Okoye was found déad in an abandoned building and the culprit was found seriously injured.

When the image of the culprit appeared on the screen, I was shocked. My mother was the culprit. She was rushed to the hospital.

How did she escape from Prison?

Your shares is my biggest motivation to continue.

To Be Continued...

Title: Promise 30.

Hey’ll tell you that you broke the family.
But here’s the truth, you broke the silence.
You stopped smiling through the pain,
Stopped staying quiet just to keep a fragile peace…
That wasn’t peace, it was pretense.
For years, you watched their toxic cycles spin.
The guilt trips, the gaslighting, the endless games.
You swallowed your words until they burned,
Kept your head down, let it slide again and again.
But then it reached your kids.
And something inside you shattered wide open.
When their poison touched your babies,
The silence became a scream.
You stood tall. You spoke up.
And suddenly, you’re the villain?
No. Let’s set the record straight:
You didn’t destroy the family.
You dismantled the dysfunction.
You refused to let the same wounds scar another generation.
You broke the pattern.
Chose truth over tradition, healing over hiding.
Let them whisper. Let them blame.
Your peace was never meant to live in their shame.
This isn’t loss, it’s liberation.
You didn’t lose your voice; you found it.
And you used it, for the ones who matter most.

One late night, while browsing through the Lulu bookstore in search of self-help books, I stumbled upon How to Outsmart a Manipulator by Justin Taylor. The title immediately caught my attention, resonating with my recent experiences. I had been grappling with the realization that a close friend had been subtly manipulating me. Their constant need for control, the guilt-tripping, and the way they twisted situations to their advantage had left me feeling confused and emotionally drained. I hadn't recognized these behaviors as manipulation until I saw this book. Hoping to find clarity and regain control over my interactions, I purchased it.

Reading Taylor's book was an eye-opening experience. It not only helped me identify the manipulative tactics used against me but also provided practical strategies to counteract them. Here are ten invaluable lessons I learned:

1. Recognize Manipulative Behavior Early

Taylor emphasizes the importance of identifying manipulation before it takes hold. He outlines common tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and playing the victim. Understanding these signs enabled me to spot manipulation in its early stages and address it promptly.

2. Understand the Psychology Behind Manipulation

The book delves into the psychological mechanisms manipulators exploit, such as our desire for approval or fear of conflict. By understanding these, I became more aware of my vulnerabilities and learned to protect myself from being exploited.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Taylor stresses the necessity of establishing and maintaining personal boundaries. He provides guidance on how to communicate limits assertively and the importance of consistency in upholding them. Implementing this advice helped me reclaim my personal space and autonomy.

4. Build Emotional Resilience

Manipulators often target emotional weaknesses. The book offers exercises to strengthen emotional resilience, such as mindfulness practices and self-reflection techniques. These tools have been instrumental in helping me stay grounded and less susceptible to emotional manipulation.

5. Trust Your Instincts

Taylor encourages readers to listen to their gut feelings. Often, we sense something is off but dismiss it. Learning to trust my instincts has been crucial in identifying and avoiding manipulative situations.

6. Communicate Assertively

The book provides strategies for assertive communication, emphasizing the use of "I" statements and maintaining a calm demeanor. This approach has empowered me to express my needs and concerns without aggression or passivity.

7. Avoid Justifying or Over-Explaining

Manipulators often exploit our tendency to over-explain. Taylor advises keeping explanations concise and avoiding unnecessary justifications. This tactic has helped me maintain control during interactions and prevent being drawn into manipulative dialogues.

8. Recognize the Impact of Manipulation on Mental Health

The book discusses how prolonged exposure to manipulation can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Acknowledging this impact motivated me to prioritize my mental well-being and seek supportive relationships.

9. Develop a Support System

Taylor highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with trustworthy individuals. Building a support network has provided me with perspective, encouragement, and a safe space to discuss concerns.

10. Empower Yourself Through Knowledge

Ultimately, the book underscores that knowledge is power. Understanding manipulation tactics and how to counter them has restored my confidence and sense of control. I now approach relationships with a balanced perspective, aware of potential red flags and equipped to handle them.

How to Outsmart a Manipulator by Justin Taylor has been a transformative read. It has not only helped me navigate and exit a toxic friendship but also equipped me with the tools to foster healthier relationships moving forward. I feel more confident, self-assured, and prepared to protect my emotional well-being.

BOOK LINK: https://www.lulu.com/shop/justin-taylor/how-to-outsmart-a-manipulator/ebook/product-jewnzz5.html?q=How+to+Outsmart+a+Manipulator+&page=1&pageSize=4

*SOME NIGERIAN NEWSPAPER HEADLINES+, 09/05/2025*

World leaders welcome Leo, first US pope

Nigeria taps additional $215m W’Bank loan for palliatives

Nnamdi Kanu ordered Lagos court burning, cops’ beheading – DSS

Kano govt bans live political programmes on TV, radio

Gov Radda At National Assembly As 3 Katsina PDP Reps Defect To APC

Tinubu vows to revive S’East gas plant, fix Anambra erosion

Anambra unveils iconic national tourism tower

PalmPay hits 15m daily transactions

IMF confirms Nigeria’s full repayment of $3.4bn loan

US to deport African migrants to Equatorial Guinea

Trump calls for ‘unconditional’ 30-day Russia-Ukraine ceasefire

UK police recover Nigerian teenager’s corpse inside lake

Wigwe: US helicopter firm may face criminal charges

China commends Nigeria’s loyalty to ‘One-China’ policy

Refitting & repainting: Newly acquired presidential jet flown to South Africa

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*DID YOU KNOW?*

* Latin is no longer spoken as a native language, though it’s a foundational language for many modern languages. It however, still plays crucial roles in the Catholic Church.

* Country music artiste Dolly Parton once lost in a Dolly Parton look-alike contest.
---------------------------

Economic reforms not to punish Nigerians, but to avert collapse – Tinubu

Tinubu urges Senate to confirm nominees as Board members for SWDC, NCDC, SSDC

FG’ll continue to partner with Anambra to harness it’s huge potentialities – Tinubu

I won’t resign over Natasha’s sexual harassment allegations – Akpabio

Insecurity: Don’t pit Senate against Tinubu, Akpabio warns minister

Akpabio slams Obi for saying Nigeria’s past heroes failed

Senate passes Joint Revenue Board, Nigeria Tax Bill

Senate, House to reconcile differences in Tax Reform Bills

Reps panel gives Benue, Zamfara govs fresh deadline over lawmakers’ suspension

Reps summon CBN gov, finance minister over contractors’ funds

Reps urge FG to establish more NYSC camps

Torrent of tributes for Clark at Senate’s valedictory session

MultiChoice loses bid to stop FCCPC’s probe of DStv, GOtv subscription hike

IPOB: Why we want Simon Ekpa back in Nigeria – AGF Fagbemi

Appeal Court strikes out NNPP candidate’s suit against Aiyedatiwa’s victory

No proof of Yahaya Bello’s children’s fees paid from Kogi funds, says witness

Judge withdraws from hearing Osun NULGE, APC suit over bias allegation

Ghana court jails Nigerian trafficking HIV patient for prostitution

DHQ links foreign herdsmen to Benue, Plateau killings

Troops arrest four suspected terrorists, recover arms in Taraba

Govs forum plans summit to address education challenges

7% GDP Growth Achievable — Finance Minister

No recognised national chairman, secretary for Labour Party, INEC declares

200,000 Nigerians Die Annually From Food-Related Diseases – FG

Passenger maltreatment: NCAA slams N3m fine on Kenya Airways

FAAN Upgrades Lagos Hajj Terminal’s Facilities

2025 UTME: JAMB to release results Friday

Nigeria launches AfCFTA Hackathon

Dangote, NNPC boss meet, pledge collaboration for national growth

FG hails milestones of naira-for-crude deal

OPEC April oil output falls – Report

Pension scheme: PenCom, Lagos advocate informal sector inclusion

FCTA to demolish over 10 buildings on waterways, green areas

Wike seeks access to natural resources development fund for Abuja infrastructure projects

Kaduna poly expels 63 students for malpractices

Law School DG dismisses allegations of withholding results

Lateef Jakande academy seeks fellows

Meta’s exit may devastate 20m MSMEs – IT firms

Airtel Africa rebounds with $661m pre-tax profit

VFD Group Shareholders Approve N3.17bn Final Dividend

NASCON Shareholders Approve N2 Per Share Dividend

Shadow govt: APC hits Utomi for comparing Tinubu with Hitler

2027: Al-Makura, Masari mobilise CPC bloc for Tinubu

Labour Party NEC suspends Abure, Farouk for six months

APGA committed to re-election of Tinubu – Bianca Ojukwu

Sowore blasts Peter Obi for ‘gaslighting’ Nigerians who protested against Jonathan’s govt

Delta APC lauds Tinubu over Nigeria’s IMF debt repayment

Concerns mount over disbursement of El-Rufai’s $350m World Bank loan in Kaduna

LP vows to defeat APC in Lagos LG poll

Shehu Sani: If Coalition Fails, Tinubu’s Re-Election Done Deal

Ododo under fire over Kogi housing deficit

Gov Buni donates cash, food to families of slain soldiers

Gov Buni hails Yobe farmers’ readiness to tackle food security challenges

Kogi lawmakers threaten showdown with political office holders

Gombe CJ frees 84 inmates

Lagos marks 39 buildings for demolition over encroachment

Abia Airport: Host community fears loss of ancestral land

Bauchi plans by-election to replace impeached LG chair, deputy

Kano to reactivate water plant for improved supply

KWAM 1 is my son, I can’t fight him – Kollington

Queen Amina Old Students Commend Uba Sani Over Land Revocation

Gombe judge withdraws from ongoing land dispute

Court adjourns ruling on self-crowned Ondo monarch to May 12

Niger police neutralise drug lord during face-off

Toy gun-wielding robbers snatch car from Niger resident

I don’t want to die rich – Bill Gates

---------------------------

*TODAY IN HISTORY*

* On this day in 1960, the first birth control pill was approved. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that it would add birth control as a new indication for the drug “Enovid”.

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Money is the best deodorant. – Elizabeth Taylor

Good evening *Compiled by Hon. Osuji George osujis@yahoo.com +234-8122200446*.

07 Most Used Manipulation Tactics

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How you’re being controlled — and how to see through it.

01. *Gaslighting:* Making you question your own memory, reality, or sanity. You doubt yourself, and they win.

02. *Guilt-Tripping:* Twisting your empathy against you. They act hurt to control your next move.

03. *Love Bombing:* Excessive affection, praise, and attention... Until you're hooked. Then they pull away.

04. *Triangulation:* Comparing you to others to create insecurity. “Why can’t you be more like them?” Boom - control gained.

05. *Silent Treatment:* Not absence - punishment. They withdraw just to make you chase.

06. *Future Faking:* Selling you a dream they’ll never deliver. They feed your hope, but their words are the only thing real.

07. *Playing Victim:* They become the sufferer, even when they’re the attacker. You end up apologizing for their wounds.

🙋🏻‍♀️ *Which one hit you hardest?

Cut of Jealous people in your circle!!!

Jealousy is a powerful emotion that can bring out the worst in people.

The problem with jealous people is that they see you as a threat. They look at you as competition, someone who is trying to one-up them or steal the spotlight.

But for you, they're just family or friends. You care about them deeply and want to support and encourage them.

The worst part is that jealous people can be incredibly manipulative. They'll often try to make you feel guilty or responsible for their own feelings of inadequacy.

They'll play on your emotions, using tactics like gaslighting or emotional blackmail to get what they want from you.

It's exhausting and draining to be around people like this. They can suck the life out of you, leaving you feeling anxious, stressed, and unsure of yourself.

And the worst part is that they often don't even realize what they're doing. They're so consumed by their own jealousy and insecurity that they can't see the harm they're causing.

Recognize the behavior for what it is. Don't make excuses for them or try to justify their actions..

Set clear boundaries. And in most cases, Cut them off from you life.

You deserve a healthy circle of relationships
Good morning and Happy Sunday everyone