Morning jokes

1 it is not yet over until it's over every way. That's my reply to my ex when she wants to leave me for another man .
2. Promise is not a good name. Since my in-laws promised to renovate our family compound three years ago, we haven't seen them with my sister . When I have a child, I will name her Comfort so that she will comfort me.
3. You can still be fat and your wife will leave you because you cannot act like a man. Women know what they want in marriage. It's not just about body or money alone. Wisdom!
4. My brother, she can still block you from calling her with the phone you bought and the SIM card. Women are quick to forget. Fear them!
5. Having a boyfriend who has a female bestie is confusing. My sister, what if the bestie is her side chick?
6. To give someone your heart is not hard. But to give your life to Christ, some people will still want to travel to Jerusalem first before believing Jesus is the son of God
. 7. Lack of data will make you think you are the poorest person in this life.
8. White soup, 3500; pepper soup rice, 2500; pizza and shawarma, a miracle! You alone? And you are calling it common? Well done, what a wife material!
9. Stopped going home with your man, Pollo. Abigail, you didn't hear? Pollo, where the pastor gave you a boyfriend to wear to church, you wore it to the nightclub. The pastor met you at the nightclub, now there's a problem!
In the church
10. An Igbo man, even in front of me and my father, you will tell my mother. Nne, come, I will do you well. Now my papa is vexed, came back from the market, and we are waiting for mama to come back. Who knows what will happen next?


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"I Will Support UI to Remain the First and the Best," assures Vice President Shettima

The Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, His Excellency,
Senator Kashim Shettima, GCON, has assured that he will support the University of Ibadan to remain the first and the best university in Nigeria and to reclaim its glory globally.

He gave this assurance while receiving the management team of the university led by the Vice Chancellor, Professor Kayode O. Adebowale, mni, FAS, fspsp, at the Presidential Villa in Abuja. The team was there to decorate him as UI@75 Ambassador Plenipotentiary.

The Vice President acknowledged that UI is the greatest citadel of learning in Nigeria and West Africa. He recalled, in his days as a postgraduate student in UI, the university had students from all over Africa who came to obtain UI degrees, adding that the university has produced many icons.

He reiterated the Federal Government’s unfaltering decision to reposition Nigeria’s education sector, affirming that the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, GCFR, will mobilise both public and private sector support to reposition higher institutions of learning, particularly the University of Ibadan, being Nigeria’s premier university.

He expressed profound delight at the honour bestowed on him by the university, stating that he will gladly display the plaque in his office as a warm reminder of his staunch affiliation to the university.

The Vice Chancellor had earlier disclosed that he led the special team from the university to perform the significant task which commemorates the 75th anniversary of the University of Ibadan, restating that the university was established in 1948 and had turned 75 years on 17 November, 2023.

Professor Adebowale explained that the University through its UI@75 Committee decided to mark the landmark anniversary by carefully selecting notable Alumni of the University who have made invaluable impact and contributed significantly to the advancement of the cause of humanity.

He stated that the University had earlier designated many alumni as UI@75 Ambassadors while notable friends and eminent personalities who are not Alumni of the University were designated as UI@75 Ambassadors Extraordinaire.

He disclosed that the Vice President is the only alumnus of the university designated as
UI@75 Ambassador Plenipotentiary, the highest alumnus honour conferred.

The Registrar, Mr. Ganiyu O. Saliu, decorated the Vice President, on behalf of Council, Senate, Staff, and Students of the University, and presented a plaque to the honouree.

On the Vice Chancellor's entourage were the Deputy Vice Chancellor, Administration, Professor Peter O. Olapegba, FNPA, fspsp; the Registrar, Mr Ganiyu O. Saliu, fspsp; Director of the Office of Alumni Relations, Professor Olakunbi Olasope; a Faculty member, Dr Babatunde Blavo; Mr Oladayo Olajide, and Mr Adeniyi Adebayo of the UI Directorate of Public Communication.

Courtesy: UI DIRECTORATE OF PUBLIC COMMUNICATION

𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓

*Akara and Pap was breakfast served every morning in a hostel of 100 people.*

*Out of the 100, 80 didn’t like it. They complained daily, saying they were tired and wanted something different.*
*But the remaining 20 were satisfied. They liked it just as it was.*

*To solve the issue, the warden introduced a simple rule: Every night, everyone would vote for what they wanted to eat the next morning. The meal with the highest number of votes would be served.*

*So every night, the 20 who loved Akara and Pap voted for it—with one voice.*
*But the 80 who didn’t like it were never united. Their votes went in different directions:*

18 *for Bread and Tea*

16 *for Yam and Egg Sauce*

14 *for Jollof Rice*

12 *for Spaghetti*

10 *for Indomie*

10 *for Moi Moi and Pap*

*Can u guess what the result was every single time?*
*Akara and Pap kept winning, Not because it was the best, but because the people who didn’t want it were too divided to agree on anything else.*

*In Nigeria, many are tired of the same old hardship, bad* *governance and recycled leadership.*
*We know who and what the real problems are.*
*But even those who want change are divided—along tribal lines, party names, personal interest, ego and ambition.*

*2027 might seem far away, but it's already around the corner. If we don’t learn from this story, we will wake up again to another bitter round of the same “meal” we’ve been served for ages.*

*The World Bank has already projected that poverty in Nigeria will keep rising until 2027.*
*That’s not just a statistic—it’s a warning.*
*And the sad truth is this: If we miss 2027, it'll only get worse.*

*This Is a Salient Message*
*THERE'S POWER IN UNITY, NOT JUST IN NUMBERS.*

*A United Minority Is More Formidable Than A Divided Majority.*

*Think About It.*

Best caption for this

Ginger or Turmeric—Which Juice Wins for You? Sip your way to glowing skin, better digestion & more!

How to Make:
Ginger Shot: Blend 1 tbsp grated ginger + ½ cup water. Strain. Add ½ tsp lemon juice.
Turmeric Shot: Blend 1 tbsp fresh turmeric + ½ cup water. Strain. Add a pinch of black pepper for better absorption.

Bonus Tip:
Take on an empty stomach for best detox results. Combine both weekly to balance gut, skin & mood!

Disclaimer:
Not suitable for people with gallbladder issues or those on blood thinners. Always consult your doctor if unsure.

*°•What is the best response to "I love you " from someone you don't have feelings for?*

*:Okay*
*:I don’t love you*
*:Awww*
*🥹: I see you as a friend/brother/sister*
*: I love you too*
: *they play*

Good morning my beloved brethren. I trust you are doing great , Praise God!
TODAY'S WORD OF GOD:

"By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through. Ecclesiastes 10:18"

Exhibiting good virtues leads to development, progress, and peace. The children of God have been called to glory and virtue (2 Peter 1:3). Therefore, be mindful to express the good virtues deposited in you by the Holy Scriptures; the good virtues of love, diligence, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and the like.
Those who neglect the Word of God and do not cooperate with the Holy Spirit are sure to pick up wrong habits from the world, leading to stagnation and setback: Laziness make the roof caves in, and because of negligent hands the house leaks" (CSB).
Dear beloved, choose to be diligent in your calling and enjoy the best of God. Hallelujah!
Be blessed! SHALOM!

She and her ex are still in love with each other but don't know how to go about it
#NollywoodBestTV

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest

The little girl saw what no one could see and did this in the market, little did they know she just unlocked a glory
#NollywoodBestTV