Morning jokes

1 it is not yet over until it's over every way. That's my reply to my ex when she wants to leave me for another man .
2. Promise is not a good name. Since my in-laws promised to renovate our family compound three years ago, we haven't seen them with my sister . When I have a child, I will name her Comfort so that she will comfort me.
3. You can still be fat and your wife will leave you because you cannot act like a man. Women know what they want in marriage. It's not just about body or money alone. Wisdom!
4. My brother, she can still block you from calling her with the phone you bought and the SIM card. Women are quick to forget. Fear them!
5. Having a boyfriend who has a female bestie is confusing. My sister, what if the bestie is her side chick?
6. To give someone your heart is not hard. But to give your life to Christ, some people will still want to travel to Jerusalem first before believing Jesus is the son of God
. 7. Lack of data will make you think you are the poorest person in this life.
8. White soup, 3500; pepper soup rice, 2500; pizza and shawarma, a miracle! You alone? And you are calling it common? Well done, what a wife material!
9. Stopped going home with your man, Pollo. Abigail, you didn't hear? Pollo, where the pastor gave you a boyfriend to wear to church, you wore it to the nightclub. The pastor met you at the nightclub, now there's a problem!
In the church
10. An Igbo man, even in front of me and my father, you will tell my mother. Nne, come, I will do you well. Now my papa is vexed, came back from the market, and we are waiting for mama to come back. Who knows what will happen next?


Please follow me for more interesting jokes daily

I saw a lot of mumies still awake last night even T 11 and 12 midnight …..

Not sleeping well (sleep deprivation) can make it harder to get pregnant because:
1. It affects your hormones – your body needs good sleep to balance fertility hormones like estrogen and progesterone.
2. It can stop ovulation – poor sleep can confuse your cycle and delay or stop egg release.
3. It causes stress – and stress can reduce your chances of getting pregnant.
4. It weakens the immune system – which can affect how your body supports pregnancy.
5. It may reduce egg quality – sleep helps your body repair and grow healthy eggs.

So, sleeping 7–8 hours each night can help improve your fertility.

#Sleep #viralreelsシ #fyp #trending #ttc

*SOME NIGERIAN NEWSPAPER HEADLINES+, 26/07/2025*

For Free, Credible 2027 Polls: Strip president of power to control judiciary, INEC — Nigerians

ASUU to sue FG over UNIMAID renaming after Buhari

Fake News: Editors to set up fact-check desk in newsrooms

Class of 99 Govs to Tinubu: Create cottage industries in 774 LGAs, not N5,000 palliative

Seven killed in Imo beer parlour attacks

Insecurity: Despite N12.6trn Allocations, Nigeria Continues To Battle Boko Haram, Others

How traffickers use online loans, scholarships, others to entrap victims – NAPTIP

SDP crisis deepens as NEC sacks NWC members, party disowns El-Rufai

Aliko Dangote steps down as Dangote Cement Chairman to focus on refinery

WAFCON 2024: Ghana beat South Africa on penalties to win bronze

FG moves to evacuate stranded Nigerians in CAR

Two Nigerians arrested in India over drugs, face deportation

Nigerians risk deportation as UK scraps sponsorship for over 100 skilled jobs


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*DID YOU KNOW?*

* There are no freshwater lakes in Togo. The main rivers are the Oti River in northern Togo, Mono River which forms part of the border with Benin and the Mo River at the border to Ghana.

* The most expensive domain name ever sold is Cars.com, valued at $872.3 million. This valuation was reported by its parent company, Gannett Co., Inc., in an SEC filing.
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Tinubu hails Diaspora for $20.93b remittances in 2024

Tinubu receives The Gambia’s President, Barrow, on condolence visit

Tinubu seeks time to verify N4tn GENCO debt

Tinubu reunites with class of 1999 governors at State House

Education under Renewed Hope Agenda undergoing transformation – Shettima

Reps threaten CBN gov’s arrest for shunning invites

Osun must refund seven month’s LG allocations, AGF tells S’Court

Osun court acquits ex-NMA chairman of electricity meter theft

EFCC warns against suspicious foreign airlines ticket promos

Tik Toker who claimed President Tinubu died remanded in correctional centre

Presidency to Kwankwaso: Tinubu not neglecting North

FG loses N379.5bn as 223 importers breach TAP

TCN, Kano resolve dispute stalling power line completion

FG sets six-week deadline for completion of renewed hope city in Kano

Customs gives 21-day ultimatum to defaulters over N379b bond

FG urges cancer patients to leverage health insurance

Voice of Nigeria to begin broadcasting in Mandarin

Over 620,000 traffic offenders arrested in 11 months – FRSC

UNIBEN wins National Electric Vehicle Design Competition, secures N5m prize

WAFCON: Oramah pledges N.5m per goal to Super Falcon

Ooni hosts 2025 Ayanagalu Drum Festival in Ife

Orji celebrates Umahi at 62

My wife stopped me from criticising Buhari after his death – Fayose

Dangote Cement announces Ikazoboh as new chairman

Eko Disco announces three-week power outage as TCN begins critical repairs

Transcorp Hotels posts N47.57bn H1 revenue

Shareholders approve N45bn capital raise for Champion Breweries

Ighodalo’s running mate denies defection to APC

Media tries to exaggerate Okpebholo’s warning to Peter Obi  —  Oshiomhole

Sanwo-Olu inaugurates legacy projects in Bariga, Agboyi-Ketu LCDAs

Ibas faults ex-labour leader’s criticism of workers, pensioners’ audit

Katsina gov extols late Emir of Gusau as thoughtful, stabilising leader

Lagos unveils digital training for youths

Families mourn as Plateau buries 27 killed in herders’ attack

Ekiti trains livestock farmers on health, safety practices

Emir Of Gusau Dies, Tinubu, Gov Lawal Mourn

Lagos traditional rulers demand 5% allowance from LG allocation

Monarch petitions Sanwo-Olu, seeks sanction for council chairman over assault

Angry residents attack Osun firefighters for late response

Police arrest Bauchi woman for kidnapping newborn, killing two girls

Police bust child trafficking syndicate, rescue 11 children in Anambra

Arrested 11-year-old girl used to traffic drugs – Delta police

Lady arrested in Lagos for mixing spoiled yam flour with harmful colouring

Jigawa father of six nabbed for killing ex-wife

Notorious cultist who killed my father still roams free — Son of Rivers chief

Children of late envoy to exhume corpse for reburial in home town

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*TODAY IN HISTORY*

* On this day in 1847, the country of Liberia was founded. This west African state was founded primarily by freed slaves from the United States. The Liberian constitution was based on the US’s constitution and the capital, Monrovia, is named after James Monroe, the fifth president of the United States.

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It is a known facts that for many thousand years, we Africans we have our own traditions, these money making organization, them come put we Africans into total confusion through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

Good morning


*Compiled by Hon. Osuji George osujis@yahoo.com +234-8122200446*

Money no go kill our Nigerian ladies.
A pretty Nigerian lady got linked to a rich Zimbabwean man on the internet.
On a good day for a surprise, the man sent 60million Zimbabwean shillings to her through Western Union.
Before going to withdraw the money, she took 2 security men to escort her (N25,900 naira each).
She hired a taxi for the day (N15,000 naira) and took a beautiful bag (Gucci=N35,000 naira) on credit for the withdrawal.
On getting to the counter, they told her that 60million Zimbabwean shillings after conversion is N3,325 naira.
We have been pouring water on the Lady since then ooo. She has refused to wake up.

No be small wahala oooooooo!!.
Please stop laughing, please if you have water, just bring and let's save her first.

NO ONE SOARS AS AN EAGLE WITH A GRASSHOPPER MENTALITY.

EVERY CHALLENGE IS TO BRING OUT THE CHAMPION IN YOU.

A PERCENTAGE OF OUR INCOME IS COMMITTED TO WELFARE.

POSSESSING A BREAKTHROUGH MENTALITY IS KEY TO COMMANDING SUPERNATURAL BREAKTHROUGH.

NOTHING FLIES LIKE FAVOUR IN THE KINGDOM OF LIGHT.

EVERY DIM SOUL, IS A POTENTIAL STAR.

AMEN IS NOT WHAT RELEASES THE BLESSING, RATHER FAITH.

OUR TRIAL OF FAITH IS TO BRING OUT THE GOLD IN US.

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP, IS A VITAL FACTOR IN DETERMINING WHAT AWAITS YOU.

BLESSING PROCLAIMED ARE RELEASED ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH.

- Bishop David Oyedepo on UNVEILING THE BREAKTHROUGH POWER OF LOVE (3A) at Covenant Day Of Business And Career Breakthrough Service || 20th July 2025 || Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland|| First Sunday Service || Part F.

Stop hanging around the airport building, it doesn't change your level. Get on board! I still check today, what will Hagin do in this circumstance, from his writings. Get on board. Thank you Jesus. Church Gist. He never went on attack against any ministry. I don't know what God sent Him. He is answerable to God, not to me. I am not set up as a judge, I am on an errand. Praise God. I heard Him say, "Don't bother to reply your critics, I don't bother to reply my critics. Just get on board, keep going. Keep going to where you are sent." Can I hear your Amen. Church Gist. That is what it means to get on board.

What do they do in this commission, that I am not doing? Recently, I saw that we started Creativity Promotion Fund in Kaduna to help people to have something positive doing. Creativity Promotion Fund. It began in Kaduna '85. Church Gist. We are on the way to help at all times, through various means. Up till now, a percentage of our income, globally, is committed to welfare. When you hear they ministered to 30,000 people, it is from it. You hear that there is natural disaster somewhere and they push in resources to alleviate the suffering of the people, it is from it.

This ministry is a tithing ministry, as small as it is. Somebody's story has changed, in the Name of Jesus. Get on board. Because by their fruits, you shall know them. Matthew 7:20. Get on board. The company you keep, is a vital factor in determining what awaits you. Get on board. Possessing a breakthrough mentality is key to commanding supernatural breakthroughs in the adventure of life. As far as your eyes can see, unto you will I give it. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. You have a breakthrough heritage in Christ, let it come from your mentality. Church Gist. Remember the overcomers' mentality. That means, whatever is born of God overcomes the world. So possess an overcomers' mentality.

Be reminded that every challenge among us is to bring out the champion in us. I don't know how many are challenged today in one area or another, the champion in you is coming out. Proverbs 27:21. Every champion today is a fruit of the challenges they overcame. You are coming out!

In 1 Peter 1:6-7, our trial of faith is to bring out the gold in us. The treasures in us, the precious things in us. And when He has tried me, Job said, I shall come forth as gold.

- Your trial today, God is turning them to triumph. Today is your day of escape. As the oil comes on you, it turns your trials to testimony.

Remember also, that no one soars as an eagle with a grasshopper's mentality. We are in our own eyes as grasshoppers, so they lost out. Numbers 13:30-33. Church Gist. Can I have you say with me, 'Every dim soul, is a potential star. But one cannot imagine a star with a mediocre's mentality.' Revelation 22:16. You have been sent, I have been sent as a star. Let that become your new mentality.

I am not redeemed a struggler, I am redeemed a light of my world, to shine forth where things are down. Church Gist. Prophetic blessings trigger breakthroughs.

- Every blessing declared over you today will culminate into blessing in your life.

Melchizedek proclaimed a blessing on Abraham and the blessing began to speak and is still speaking till now. The blessings being proclaimed on you today will keep speaking in your life. Prophetic blessings here connotes blessings proclaimed that are in line with Scriptures.For example, all your labour in the vineyard since the year began, shall be openly rewarded and you shall be scaling new heights from this time forward. Why? If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity and their years in pleasures. Job 36:11. Matthew 6:33. Habakkuk 3:18-19. So when that Word is proclaimed in line with Scriptures, you have committed God to confirm it.

- In the Name of Jesus, every blessing proclaimed on you today shall be confirmed with speed.

As I close, blessings are released on a 2 channel basis, faith from the source of the proclaimer and faith on the path of the recipient. Church Gist. Every blessing proclaimed is released according to your faith. The blessing is released, but your faith is required to receive those blessings.

Mark 6:5-6. Please note, that Amen is not what releases the blessing but faith in the Word to which you are saying Amen to. Faith in the Word. Now, for everyone serving God in this Church, the Word says, all these things that others are dying to get shall be added to you. Therefore, welcome to your realm of favour. Church Gist. Nothing flies like favour in the Kingdom of light. Favour brought Joseph out of the prison, to the palace overnight.

- In the Name of Jesus, the favour that attends to them that serve Him is released upon your life today.

You belong to the breakthrough family of Jesus. The least among us is ordained to be greater than the greatest in the Old Testament. Therefore, I decree that the Daniel in you comes forth, the Isaac in you comes alive, the Abraham in you comes to light, the Peter in your comes alive in the Name of Jesus.

- I decree God's hand upon the works of your hand in the Name of Jesus.
- For every point of contact you brought, I decree an encounter with God that will open new chapters.
- Nothing fails in your hand again. You will never be at the same spot again. A new day dawns on your life today in the Name of Jesus.
- Breakthrough on every side. Breakthrough at home. Breakthrough at work. Breakthrough in your children's lives. Breakthrough in your going out and coming in. It shall be breakthrough news from henceforth. Your new era package will start speaking. This operation will be a launch to your next level and so shall it be. Give the Lord a big hand of praise. Thank you Jesus.

“I Was Thrown Out At Night Because I Couldn’t Pay Rent…” — Maurice Sam

I cried a million times remembering one of the darkest moments in my life…
A friend threw me out of his house in the middle of the night because I couldn’t contribute to the rent

I became a fuel attendant just to survive… but the pay wasn’t enough. Life was unbearable. I had to quit.
But one thing kept me going — passion.

I started acting. I gave it everything. Sleepless nights. Rejections. Hunger. Tears.
But I didn’t stop.

Today… the story has changed. The world knows my name

To anyone struggling today, this is your sign not to give up. Keep pushing.

“I Was Thrown Out At Night Because I Couldn’t Pay Rent…” — Maurice Sam

I cried a million times remembering one of the darkest moments in my life…
A friend threw me out of his house in the middle of the night because I couldn’t contribute to the rent

I became a fuel attendant just to survive… but the pay wasn’t enough. Life was unbearable. I had to quit.
But one thing kept me going — passion.

I started acting. I gave it everything. Sleepless nights. Rejections. Hunger. Tears.
But I didn’t stop.

Today… the story has changed. The world knows my name

To anyone struggling today, this is your sign not to give up. Keep pushing.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

The obvious trap that anti-GMO campaigners keep falling into is to base their argument around science instead of economics. That's a surefire way of losing the debate and making yourself look like some kind of Pastor Chris conspiracy kook.

Look, I come from a family where if you close your eyes and throw a stone, it will hit a doctor. They're like ants. And I can tell you for free that doctors are some of the most arrogant and intransigent professionals you will ever meet, especially where it concerns things that fall within their scope which they don't fully understand - but they will never admit it to you.

A doctor is like a pilot. They are trained to carry out specific tasks using a written set of instructions and parameters. Everything functions off checklists, instructions, and equipment that someone else created, and their job is to demonstrate knowledge of, and compliance with these things. It's not a doctor's job to question the funding, motive, or methodology behind a peer-reviewed research paper. It's not a doctor's job to question why certain research studies have NOT been carried out and why.

A doctor's job, like a pilot's job, is to read what someone put in the book and follow the instructions built on this information. If a study conclusively proving that GMO food has negative health consequences has not been done because nobody will fund it, it's not a doctor's job to ask why. Just like despite Boeing whistleblowers as far back as 2014 having complained about the 737 MAX program, it wasn't the Lion Air pilot's job to determine whether the design of this aircraft posed any hazards. Their job was to follow checklist and do as they were told.

The truth that you will never hear a doctor admit is that most doctors are not especially knowledgeable about things outside their narrow field of specialisation. And even within their field, the knowledge they have is the knowledge that the medical industry allows them to have. Until now as you're reading this, many American doctors and nurses are still taught that there are racial differences in how pain is felt, and that black women feel less pain than white women. As a result of this completely racist, unscientific, 18th century nonsense which nobody has removed from the books, black women in the US are routinely given less anaesthetic during medical procedures, and they are 7-12 times more likely to die during pregnancy and childbirth than white women.

If you point this out to an American doctor, he will find excuses to deny the obvious or take offense at being queried by a layman who hasn't done 100 level Anatomy. Until Bill Gates funds a peer-reviewed study showing that this 18th century anachronism shouldn't be taught in medical school, and then lobbies the Department of Health to change its guidelines, they will keep defending it because that's what the books say.

So as an anti-GMO campaigners, the dumbest thing you can do is start quoting obscure or suppressed studies to 'prove' to a medical professional that GMOs are bad. It's a fight you cannot win and you would be foolish to even try. By the time he whips out a paragraph of 5-syllable words that he learnt from his medical textbook, you'll be left blinking your eyes and looking like a dickhead. Bill Gates is a very smart guy. He has ensured that the entire medical research space cannot produce any research that contradicts the one that supports his financial interests, and typically nobody who wears a white coat dares to stand up to him.

So stick to the economic argument, which is that one man cannot be allowed to privatise and monopolise an entire continent's food supply. Force them to remain on the defensive by using an argument that anyone can understand, and there is no logical comeback for.

Stop losing and looking silly because you want to take on a white coat on their own turf. It doesn't end well. Stick to what you can prove and defend empirically. Leave the Pastor Chris nonsense out.