*5 WAYS TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH YOUR PARTNER*
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
A lady complained to me about how her husband rarely listens to her.
She said that anytime she wants to talk with her husband, it's either he is watching TV or he is using his phone.
When she requests his full attention, he will say that she should say what she wants to say, that he's hearing her.
This had happened for several years in their marriage, and she was very sad about it.
During my session with both partners, I decided to find out why he was doing that.
I asked him several questions and discovered that he had seen his parents live that way in his growing up years. So he grew up thinking that that's the right way for a husband to live and interact with his wife..
During my counselling session with them, I shared several tips with them on how to communicate better as couples.
I shared with them something that many couples do not pay attention to - the way you communicate with your spouse is frequently a pattern you picked up in your growing up years from your parents and other adults that you lived with. Your spouse probably picked up some other communication pattern in their growing up years.
Communication is the heart of any successful relationship. Whether you're newly dating or have been married for years, the way you communicate can make or break the bond you share with your partner.
Unfortunately, like the couple whose story I shared, many couples struggle with expressing themselves effectively, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance.
The good news is that regardless of the communication pattern you were exposed to in your growing up years, improving your communication skills is possible!
Here are some of the ways you can communicate better with your partner and foster a deeper connection.
1. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond: Often, we listen to our partners with the intent to respond rather than understand. Active listening involves focusing entirely on what your partner is saying without interrupting or thinking of your reply. By doing this, you show empathy, which can strengthen emotional bonds and make your partner feel truly heard.
2. Be Clear and Direct: Beating around the bush or using passive-aggressive language can create confusion and tension in a relationship. Using passive-aggressive language is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. So learn to be clear and direct about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Use “I” statements instead of “You…” to avoid placing blame and encourage open dialogue.
3. Practice Patience: Not every conversation will be easy or comfortable. Learning to be patient with your partner, especially during difficult discussions, can make a huge difference. Give them the time and space to express themselves, and resist the urge to react impulsively. Sometimes, it’s best to take a break if things get too heated.
4. Use Non-verbal Communication: Words aren’t the only way to communicate. Non-verbal cues such as body language, eye contact, and touch can convey affection, concern, and attentiveness. A warm hug or holding hands during a conversation can reinforce emotional connection and make your partner feel supported.
5. Check-In Regularly: Life gets busy, and it’s easy for couples to drift apart if they don’t make time to check in with each other. Schedule regular conversations to talk about how you're feeling and what you both need. These check-ins can help prevent issues from piling up and strengthen your relationship over time.
Effective communication is an ongoing effort that requires practice, patience, and intentionality. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. Small shifts in communication habits can lead to a deeper connection and a happier partnership.
By the end of the session with me, this couple recognized where they are not doing well and apologized to each other.
Today, they are living happily and improving their communication skills.
*5 WAYS TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH YOUR PARTNER*
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
A lady complained to me about how her husband rarely listens to her.
She said that anytime she wants to talk with her husband, it's either he is watching TV or he is using his phone.
When she requests his full attention, he will say that she should say what she wants to say, that he's hearing her.
This had happened for several years in their marriage, and she was very sad about it.
During my session with both partners, I decided to find out why he was doing that.
I asked him several questions and discovered that he had seen his parents live that way in his growing up years. So he grew up thinking that that's the right way for a husband to live and interact with his wife..
During my counselling session with them, I shared several tips with them on how to communicate better as couples.
I shared with them something that many couples do not pay attention to - the way you communicate with your spouse is frequently a pattern you picked up in your growing up years from your parents and other adults that you lived with. Your spouse probably picked up some other communication pattern in their growing up years.
Communication is the heart of any successful relationship. Whether you're newly dating or have been married for years, the way you communicate can make or break the bond you share with your partner.
Unfortunately, like the couple whose story I shared, many couples struggle with expressing themselves effectively, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance.
The good news is that regardless of the communication pattern you were exposed to in your growing up years, improving your communication skills is possible!
Here are some of the ways you can communicate better with your partner and foster a deeper connection.
1. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond: Often, we listen to our partners with the intent to respond rather than understand. Active listening involves focusing entirely on what your partner is saying without interrupting or thinking of your reply. By doing this, you show empathy, which can strengthen emotional bonds and make your partner feel truly heard.
2. Be Clear and Direct: Beating around the bush or using passive-aggressive language can create confusion and tension in a relationship. Using passive-aggressive language is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. So learn to be clear and direct about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Use “I” statements instead of “You…” to avoid placing blame and encourage open dialogue.
3. Practice Patience: Not every conversation will be easy or comfortable. Learning to be patient with your partner, especially during difficult discussions, can make a huge difference. Give them the time and space to express themselves, and resist the urge to react impulsively. Sometimes, it’s best to take a break if things get too heated.
4. Use Non-verbal Communication: Words aren’t the only way to communicate. Non-verbal cues such as body language, eye contact, and touch can convey affection, concern, and attentiveness. A warm hug or holding hands during a conversation can reinforce emotional connection and make your partner feel supported.
5. Check-In Regularly: Life gets busy, and it’s easy for couples to drift apart if they don’t make time to check in with each other. Schedule regular conversations to talk about how you're feeling and what you both need. These check-ins can help prevent issues from piling up and strengthen your relationship over time.
Effective communication is an ongoing effort that requires practice, patience, and intentionality. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. Small shifts in communication habits can lead to a deeper connection and a happier partnership.
By the end of the session with me, this couple recognized where they are not doing well and apologized to each other.
Today, they are living happily and improving their communication skills.❤️
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