*MARRY A MAN WITH COMMON SENSE.*

1: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that paying your bride price is not equal to buying you.

2: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that marrying you is not doing you a favour.

3: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that you pose to have cramps and mood swings during your monthly circle, and shouldn't use it against you.

4: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that as a woman you also have a right to say "NO" to sex at times and if he must have his way he should at least try to make you happy and put you in the mood.

5: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that after childbirth you are posed to have stretch marks, big stomach, sag ***** and not too good shape, and he shouldn't because of that compare you to a sweet 16,

Your sag ***** or stretch marks is a sign of motherhood. (Although you can work it out and be back to shape which is proper.)

6: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that there are times you are just too tired to cook, and him taking you to the eatery to eat dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.

7: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you have a right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and disagree, a right to air your opinions.

8: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you deserve to hear "sorry" from him and he's obliged to plead and ask for forgiveness when he errs and not use his headship as a means to escape saying "sorry"

9: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that hitting a lady is a crime against humanity.

10: Marry a man who loves your soul not just your body, marry a man who enjoys talking to you even without touching your body, not someone who cannot talk to you without touching you. May you not miss it in marriage.

*MARRY A MAN WITH COMMON SENSE.*

1: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that paying your bride price is not equal to buying you.

2: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that marrying you is not doing you a favour.

3: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that you pose to have cramps and mood swings during your monthly circle, and shouldn't use it against you.

4: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that as a woman you also have a right to say "NO" to sex at times and if he must have his way he should at least try to make you happy and put you in the mood.

5: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that after childbirth you are posed to have stretch marks, big stomach, sag ***** and not too good shape, and he shouldn't because of that compare you to a sweet 16,

Your sag ***** or stretch marks is a sign of motherhood. (Although you can work it out and be back to shape which is proper.)

6: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that there are times you are just too tired to cook, and him taking you to the eatery to eat dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.

7: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you have a right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and disagree, a right to air your opinions.

8: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you deserve to hear "sorry" from him and he's obliged to plead and ask for forgiveness when he errs and not use his headship as a means to escape saying "sorry"

9: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that hitting a lady is a crime against humanity.

10: Marry a man who loves your soul not just your body, marry a man who enjoys talking to you even without touching your body, not someone who cannot talk to you without touching you. May you not miss it in marriage.

When a Father Walks Away—Everyone Pays the Price

Let’s say it loud:

The greatest crisis a child can face isn’t poverty.
It’s not bullying.
It’s not the cost of college.

It’s a father who left.

Whether he left through cheating, cowardice, or being pushed out—
the result is the same:

A child with no compass.
A future with no blueprint.
A legacy with no foundation.

Let’s talk about it.

—

1. Fathers Who Cheat Don’t Just Betray Their Wives—They Break Their Children

That affair you had?

It didn’t just destroy trust.
It disrupted an entire bloodline.

Because the day you became a father, you weren’t just a lover.

You became a leader.

And when the leader abandons the structure?

The whole kingdom collapses.

—

2. Women Who Weaponize the Law Are No Better

Let’s not pretend:

The law is on your side.
The courts favor you.
The world will call you brave—even if you’re petty.

But just because you can destroy a man legally doesn’t mean you should.

Pushing a father out because your emotions changed isn’t power.
It’s generational sabotage.

Children don’t care about your ego.

They care about consistency.

—

3. Science Confirms It—Kids Do Better With Fathers Present

You can’t rewrite this.

Studies show: – Boys raised without fathers are more likely to be violent.
– Girls raised without fathers are more likely to be exploited.
– And all children suffer emotionally when dad becomes a ghost.

Single motherhood may be normalized.
But it’s not ideal.

And if you’re offended?

Check the prison stats.
Check the dropout stats.
Check the depression stats.

Father absence is not just a wound.
It’s a curse.

—

4. Men: Stop Starting Families You’re Not Ready to Lead

You want to be a father?

Then stop acting like a frat boy with responsibilities.

– You don’t get to cheat because “she let herself go.”
– You don’t get to start over and pretend your first family doesn’t exist.
– You don’t get to “heal” by disappearing from your children’s lives.

Leadership isn’t convenience.

It’s covenant.

And a man who can’t keep his vows shouldn’t expect loyalty from his children later in life.

—

5. Women: Stop Removing the Father Just Because the Marriage Died

You fell out of love?

Cool.

But that doesn’t cancel his role.

You moved on?

Great.

But that doesn’t mean he disappears.

When you turn your child against their father, you’re not protecting them.
You’re punishing them.

And they’ll resent you for it when they grow up.

—

6. Children Aren’t Resilient—They’re Just Quiet

Don’t be fooled.

That smile is covering confusion.
That silence is hiding trauma.
That “I’m fine” is rehearsed.

They notice: – When your new partner gets more attention.
– When they stop being invited to things.
– When love starts feeling like a competition.

They’re not “adapting.”

They’re breaking quietly.

—

7. Masculinity Must Be Modeled—Not Just Taught

Boys don’t become men through lectures.

They become men by watching one.

And if you’re not around?

They’ll find masculinity in the streets, the screen, or the chaos.

And none of those places build men you’d be proud of.

—

Final Word: You Don’t Stop Being a Father Because You Failed as a Husband

Men:
You may have lost the marriage.
But don’t lose your mission.

Women:
You may be hurt.
But don’t hijack your child’s future to soothe your ego.

Because when a father walks away—
Or is pushed out—

Everyone pays.

The kids.
The legacy.
The soul of the next generation.

So whether you're the man who strayed,
Or the woman who shut the door…

Fix it.

Because children don’t care who was right.

They just want both parents to stay in the fight.

*MARRY A MAN WITH COMMON SENSE.*

1: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that paying your bride price is not equal to buying you.

2: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that marrying you is not doing you a favour.

3: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that you pose to have cramps and mood swings during your monthly circle, and shouldn't use it against you.

4: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that as a woman you also have a right to say "NO" to sex at times and if he must have his way he should at least try to make you happy and put you in the mood.

5: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that after childbirth you are posed to have stretch marks, big stomach, sag ***** and not too good shape, and he shouldn't because of that compare you to a sweet 16,

Your sag ***** or stretch marks is a sign of motherhood. (Although you can work it out and be back to shape which is proper.)

6: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that there are times you are just too tired to cook, and him taking you to the eatery to eat dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.

7: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you have a right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and disagree, a right to air your opinions.

8: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you deserve to hear "sorry" from him and he's obliged to plead and ask for forgiveness when he errs and not use his headship as a means to escape saying "sorry"

9: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that hitting a lady is a crime against humanity.

10: Marry a man who loves your soul not just your body, marry a man who enjoys talking to you even without touching your body, not someone who cannot talk to you without touching you. May you not miss it in marriage.

*MARRY A MAN WITH COMMON SENSE.*


1: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that paying your bride price is not equal to buying you.

2: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that marrying you is not doing you a favour.

3: Marry a man that has sense enough to know that you pose to have cramps and mood swings during your monthly circle, and shouldn't use it against you.

4: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that as a woman you also have a right to say "NO" to sex at times and if he must have his way he should at least try to make you happy and put you in the mood.

5: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that after childbirth you are posed to have stretch marks, big stomach, sag ***** and not too good shape, and he shouldn't because of that compare you to a sweet 16,

Your sag ***** or stretch marks is a sign of motherhood. (Although you can work it out and be back to shape which is proper.)

6: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that there are times you are just too tired to cook, and him taking you to the eatery to eat dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.

7: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you have a right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and disagree, a right to air your opinions.

8: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you deserve to hear "sorry" from him and he's obliged to plead and ask for forgiveness when he errs and not use his headship as a means to escape saying "sorry"

9: Marry a man who has sense enough to know that hitting a lady is a crime against humanity.

10: Marry a man who loves your soul not just your body, marry a man who enjoys talking to you even without touching your body, not someone who cannot talk to you without touching you. May you not miss it in marriage.

When a Father Walks Away—Everyone Pays the Price
Let’s say it loud:
The greatest crisis a child can face isn’t poverty.
It’s not bullying.
It’s not the cost of college.
It’s a father who left.
Whether he left through cheating, cowardice, or being pushed out—
the result is the same:
A child with no compass.
A future with no blueprint.
A legacy with no foundation.
Let’s talk about it.
—
1. Fathers Who Cheat Don’t Just Betray Their Wives—They Break Their Children.
That affair you had.
It didn’t just destroy trust.
It disrupted an entire bloodline.
Because the day you became a father, you weren’t just a lover.
You became a leader.
And when the leader abandons the structure?
The whole kingdom collapses.
—
2. Women Who Weaponize the Law Are No Better
Let’s not pretend:
The law is on your side.
The courts favor you.
The world will call you brave—even if you’re petty.
But just because you can destroy a man legally doesn’t mean you should.
Pushing a father out because your emotions changed isn’t power.
It’s generational sabotage.
Children don’t care about your ego.
They care about consistency.
—
3. Science Confirms It—Kids Do Better With Fathers Present
You can’t rewrite this.
Studies show: – Boys raised without fathers are more likely to be violent.
– Girls raised without fathers are more likely to be exploited.
– And all children suffer emotionally when dad becomes a ghost.
Single motherhood may be normalized.
But it’s not ideal.
And if you’re offended?
Check the prison stats.
Check the dropout stats.
Check the depression stats.
Father absence is not just a wound.
It’s a curse.
—
4. Men: Stop Starting Families You’re Not Ready to Lead
You want to be a father?
Then stop acting like a frat boy with responsibilities.
– You don’t get to cheat because “she let herself go.”
– You don’t get to start over and pretend your first family doesn’t exist.
– You don’t get to “heal” by disappearing from your children’s lives.
Leadership isn’t convenience.
It’s covenant.
And a man who can’t keep his vows shouldn’t expect loyalty from his children later in life.
—
5. Women: Stop Removing the Father Just Because the Marriage Died
You fell out of love?
Cool.
But that doesn’t cancel his role.
You moved on?
Great.
But that doesn’t mean he disappears.
When you turn your child against their father, you’re not protecting them.
You’re punishing them.
And they’ll resent you for it when they grow up.
—
6. Children Aren’t Resilient—They’re Just Quiet
Don’t be fooled.
That smile is covering confusion.
That silence is hiding trauma.
That “I’m fine” is rehearsed.
They notice: – When your new partner gets more attention.
– When they stop being invited to things.
– When love starts feeling like a competition.
They’re not “adapting.”
They’re breaking quietly.
—
7. Masculinity Must Be Modeled—Not Just Taught
Boys don’t become men through lectures.
They become men by watching one.
And if you’re not around?
They’ll find masculinity in the streets, the screen, or the chaos.
And none of those places build men you’d be proud of.
—
Final Word: You Don’t Stop Being a Father Because You Failed as a Husband
Men:
You may have lost the marriage.
But don’t lose your mission.
Women:
You may be hurt.
But don’t hijack your child’s future to soothe your ego.
Because when a father walks away—
Or is pushed out—
Everyone pays.
The kids.
The legacy.
The soul of the next generation.
So whether you're the man who strayed,
Or the woman who shut the door…
Fix it.
Because children don’t care who was right.
They just want both parents to stay in the fight.

They say, “Dress like a mother.”
“Cover up.”
“Think of your daughters.”

But let me ask you something —
When did motherhood become a prison?
When did being a “good example” mean erasing who you are?

See, the truth is… I get this all the time.
People look at me and assume that because I show skin or dress bold, I’m somehow failing as a mother.
But I’ve never felt more honest. More alive.
And that’s exactly what I want my daughters to see.

Because being a good example isn’t about hiding.
It’s about showing them what it means to live in your truth —
Even when the world tells you not to.

Do you believe in expression trauma?
That quiet shame that tells women they must be small, silent, and invisible to be “acceptable”?
I do. Because I’ve felt it. And I know millions of women have too.

My mission in this life is simple:
To live so boldly, so truthfully, and so unapologetically…
That it makes you question every cage you were told to live in.

On my life — my daughters will never carry the burden of expression trauma.
By God’s grace, they’ll know freedom.

They’ll wear what they love. Speak how they feel.
And if they’re okay with how they’re seen — then they’re FREE.
And that, to me, is the truest kind of motherhood.

My Wahala Promax people what are your thoughts on korra obidi dressing as a mother?

Mama, You Matter Too

Dear Mama,
You’re more than what you do for others. You matter too.

Motherhood is sacred—but it can be overwhelming.

It’s okay to ask for help.
It’s okay to rest.
It’s okay to need space.

To every mother reading this: You’re not just a caregiver. You’re a soul.
You deserve softness too.

DEAR SINGLE MOMS_STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART


Being a single parent is not a child’s play.. oh no, it’s never easy carrying the burden of raising children alone… you have to worry about the financial, emotional, psychosocial and safety needs of the children all by yourself.

And a lot of times, you have to put the needs of those children above yours…. After all, they didn’t ask to be here and they didn’t cause whatever circumstances that made you a single parent.

Some days you lock yourself up in your room, your closet or even in your car and cry hot tears because you’re worn out and you can’t give up yet, you still have to wipe your tears so your children don’t see you in that mode.

I understand all of this but I still insist that Single Motherhood is not a stigma and should never be used as a tool for pity. It should also not cause you to completely lose yourself and consistently go against your moral values!

Find something to do however small, get yourself a source of income…. Use resources at your disposal to provide services that could fetch some income.
There is dignity in labor, it doesnt matter how lowly you think of it. Improve yourself, get into a new career or enterprenueral field. You are not too old for growth and self development!

Remember you’re a role model to those children. So keep working hard and do everything to protect your dignity and image! Stay classy, stay respectable! I promise you, your hard work will pay off at the end. You’ll look back one day and smile….

I CELEBRATE YOU ALL

Motherhood ehhhhhhh,,,,. Just be ready .

DEBUNKING MYTHS ABOUT S$X

1. WHEN THE MAN STRUGGLES TO ERECT, HE IS CHEATING
Sometimes a man will struggle to erect or sustain an erection because he is stressed, tired, overthinking or he feels you disrespect him as his wife. Don't be so quick to accuse him of cheating

2. ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT
Yes, infidelity hurts; some continue with the lifestyle but others transform to stop and be a better spouse. People can change. Marriages can thrive after infidelity if the two choose to fight for it and heal it

3. IF A WOMAN DOESN'T SQUIRT, SHE IS NOT SEXUALLY SATISFIED
Not every woman will squirt in their lifetime; some even don't long to squirt because they find it messy. Don't feel under pressure, intimacy is much deeper, not a chase after squirts

4. A WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN BIRTH IS TOO WIDE DOWN THERE
The vagina is very elastic, it can expand and contract. A woman can go back to tightness after giving birth, let us not make motherhood seem like a pleasure killer

5. YOUR HUSBAND HATES YOUR STRETCHMARKS
Many women feel insecure about their stretchmarks because of their own insecurities or the judgement from other women. Most men don't even complain about stretchmarks, all they want is some good loving inside the wife. Lady, you are beautiful as you are. Relax

6. SIZE IS EVERYTHING
The size of the penis is not everything, skill is. Regardless of the God-given size or shape of your penis; what your wife wants is that you be creative and skillfull with it as you confidently give her that good feeling

7. EVERY SEXUAL EPISODE A COUPLE HAS MUST BE THE SAME
Last night's love making might have been so intense, today it might be calm and flat. Not every time it will be similar. Stop trying to recreate a memory, enjoy each episode and make it unique. Don't panic or think your marriage is under threat when the sex this week doesn't match last week's fireworks

8. EVERY PERSON HAS THE SAME SEXUAL SPOTS
Don't copy paste what you hear about others. Not every woman has sensitive nipples, not every man loves their balls played with. Some ladies find their inner thighs ticklish, some men love their nipples pinched. Find out how your spouse wants it. Discover

9. EVERY WOMAN CLIMAXES JUST ONCE
Some women can only climax once and some can climax over and over. Find out what kind of a woman she is

10. THOSE WHO MARRIED AS VIRGINS OR WITH LITTLE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE ARE BORING IN BED
You don't need training with many people to be great in bed; all you need is to emotionally connect and be willing to learn your spouse and to enjoy and give pleasure and your sex life will be amazing

11. SEX IN AFFAIRS IS SWEETER THAN SEX IN MARRIAGE
Affairs are fun because they are new, passionate, they have a lot of investment in flirting and emotional bonding, and there is a build up of excitement. All those things you can bring into your marriage. You can have a steamy affair with your spouse

12. A COUPLE THAT HAS HAD AN AVERAGE SEX LIFE CAN NEVER IMPROVE
Any couple that feels their sex life sucks can shake things up and bring fire into their love life. Are you willing to go on an adventure on each other's body?

13. EVERY MAN WAKES UP WITH A HARD ON
Not every man will wake up horny, so don't think he is not attracted to you just because he doesn't want some each morning. You can start him up though

14. SPIRITUAL PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC IN BED
You can be spiritual and still be highly sexual. Sex was created by God. God is a romantic God. In fact, the more you grow as a believer, the more romantic and expressive you should become, understanding the beauty and power of sexual intimacy done as unto the Lord

15. IF YOU LIKE MAKING LOVE AT NIGHT, YOUR SPOUSE WILL AUTOMATICALLY WANT THE SAME
Your spouse might enjoy making love a different time than you. Some people are night people, others are morning ones; the goal is to compromise and accommodate each other's preferences in the marriage to tend to each other's needs

MOTHER ABANDONED HER BABY BY THE RIVERBANK

EPISODE 7

Life in Lagos should have felt like a new beginning for Oma. The bustling city lights, the well-furnished apartment Michael provided, and the comfort of knowing she was loved should have filled the void in her heart.

But nothing seemed to touch the emptiness that had settled in her soul. Michael was a good man—attentive, supportive, and kind. He made sure she lacked nothing.

They went on outings, visited parks, ate at expensive restaurants. From the outside, theirs was a beautiful love story.

But for Oma, it was like living inside a glass house. Everything looked perfect, yet one emotional crack threatened to shatter it all. The memory of her baby girl haunted her, silently threading itself through every moment of her new life.

When Michael noticed it, he brought it up one evening after dinner. "Oma, why don’t you go back to school? You’ve always wanted to study. Maybe that will help you loosen up.

She stared at him with wide eyes, unsure how to respond. She obtained a form and began university. Each morning, she left home dressed in modest clothes, blending into a sea of youthful students. She took the bus, attended lectures, read until late into the night. She studied sociology.

At school, her brilliance began to shine. Her lecturers praised her essays. She found new confidence in discussions, and some of her course mates even looked up to her like a big sister. Michael was so proud of her. Years passed.

She was in her fourth and final year when she discovered she was pregnant again. Michael was overjoyed. Nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. They named him Chibuikem, meaning, God is my strength.

Michael beamed with pride, and even Oma, for a fleeting moment, felt joy ripple through her. Oma sang to him, held him, rocked him to sleep. But the shadow remained.

Every time she held Chibuikem, she imagined Chiwendu’s face, the baby girl she left crying by the riverbank. Every time Chibuikem smiled, it reminded her of the smile she never saw her daughter give. She still refused to tell Michael the truth, even though she knew he deserved to know

At night, she would sneak out of bed and cry silently on the bathroom floor. She often looked at herself in the mirror, wondering if motherhood would ever feel complete.

Her arms were full, but her heart was not. She longed to return to Umu Oma, to stand by the river again, to speak to the wind and beg for forgiveness.

One day, Michael touched her face gently as they lay in bed. "You’re always far away, Oma. Even when you smile. Where do you go?" She forced a laugh. "Nowhere. Just tired." He believed her. But deep down, he knew something was missing. Something she wasn’t telling him.

Back to the ev!l forest, eight years had passed since Ujunwa found Chiwendu whom she named Ifunanya. Ifunanya had grown into a radiant girl—sharp-eyed, full of questions, and wise beyond her years.

Her laughter filled the forest hut. Ujunwa had taught her everything she knew. Divination. Herbal healing. How to whisper to the forest and listen to the wind. Ifunanya absorbed it all like the earth drinks rain.

To Ujunwa, she was no longer a child found in grief—she was a daughter born of destiny. Ujunwa had resigned to fate and settled for the forest, but one morning, everything changed.

She had risen early, as always, to gather herbs from the southern slope of the forest. As she bent over a bed of bitterleaf, she suddenly froze. A warm breeze swept past her, and then, a voice deep, echoed in her ears.

“Go back to Umu Oma… it is time.” She gasped, falling backward onto the ground. The leaves trembled around her. Her hands gripped her staff tightly as she looked around, but no one was there.

That night, she knelt by the fire, watching Ifunanya sleep. Could it be the gods calling her home? The same gods whose name had been used to banish her? Or had destiny circled back?

By morning, her mind was made up. “Ifunanya,” she said gently as she woke the girl. “Get dressed, my love. We’re going on a journey.” “To where?” Ifunanya asked, blinking. “Home,” Ujunwa whispered.

They packed a small bag with herbs, and clothes and then set out. Ujunwa didn’t know the way, but somehow, they kept moving. The journey through the forest took them two days.

At dawn on the third day, the villagers saw two figures, emerging from the shadows of the evil forest. Gasps rang out. Women held their wrappers. Children peeked from behind doorways. Few of the villagers recognized Ujunwa

Whispers swirled through Umu Oma like a rising storm. The return of Ujunwa from the dreaded forest was shocking enough. But the unfamiliar girl beside her, ignited even deeper curiosity.

People gathered in clusters, exchanging wild guesses, their eyes fixed on the woman once branded a curse.

But Ujunwa didn’t stop to answer questions. She walked with quiet authority straight to the palace, her staff tapping against the earth with every determined step.

Ifunanya walked quietly beside her. When they reached the palace gate, the head of the guards who recognized her, was shocked. No one had seen Ujunwa in eight years, and none had expected her return.

“I need to speak to the king,” she said calmly. Moments later, word reached the king and she was let in.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Dear readers, you can't know the extent to which keeping a secret could affect you mentally, eating away at your peace and well-being. Consider opening up to someone you trust – it might be the relief you need.