• A LONG READ

    How do we choose the people we fall in love with?

    The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us.

    Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives.

    In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage.

    Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.

    The Romantic attitude sounds warm and kind. Its originators certainly imagined that it would bring an end to the sort of unhappy relationships previously brokered by parents and society. The only difficulty is that our obedience to instinct has, very often, proved to be a disaster of its own.

    Respecting the special feelings we get around certain people in nightclubs and train stations, parties and websites and that Romanticism so ably celebrated in art appears not to have led us to be any happier in our unions than a Medieval couple shackled into marriage by two royal courts keen to preserve the sovereignty of a slice of ancestral land. ‘Instinct’ has been little better than ‘calculation’ in underwriting the quality of our love stories.

    Romanticism would not at this point, however, give up the argument quite so easily. It would simply ascribe the difficulties we often have in love to not having looked hard enough for that central fixture of Romantic reverie: the right person. This being is inevitably still out there (every soul must have its soulmate, Romanticism assures us), it is just that we haven’t managed to track them down – yet.

    So we must continue the search, with all the technology and tenacity necessary, and maybe, once the divorce has come through and the house has been sold, we’ll get it right. But there’s another school of thought, this one influenced by psychoanalysis, which challenges the notion that instinct invariably draws us to those who will make us happy.

    The theory insists that we don’t fall in love first and foremost with those who care for us in ideal ways, we fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways. Adult love emerges from a template of how we should be loved that was created in childhood and is likely to be entwined with a range of problematic compulsions that militate in key ways against our chances of growth.

    We may believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood – and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care.

    The love most of us will have tasted early on was confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes.

    How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right – in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable – given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned.

    We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration. Psychoanalysis calls the process whereby we identify our partners ‘object choice’ – and recommends that we try to understand the factors semi-consciously governing our attractions in order to interrupt the unhealthier patterns that might be at play.

    Our instincts – our strong undercurrents of attraction and revulsion – stem from complicated experiences we had when we were far too young to understand them, and which linger in the antechambers of our minds.

    Psychoanalysis doesn’t wish to suggest that everything about our attractions will be deformed. We may have quite legitimate aspirations to positive qualities: intelligence, charm, generosity… But we are also liable to be fatefully drawn towards trickier tendencies: someone who is often absent, or treats us with a little disdain, or needs to be surrounded all the time by friends, or cannot master their finances.

    However paradoxical it can sound, without these tricky behaviours, we may simply not be able to feel passionate or tender with someone.

    Alternatively, we may have been so traumatised by a parental figure, we cannot approach any partner who shares qualities with them of any kind, even ones disconnected from their negative sides. We might in love be rigidly intolerant of anyone who is intelligent, or punctual or interested in science, simply because these were the traits of someone who caused us a great deal of difficulty early on.

    To choose our partners wisely, we need to tease out how our compulsions to suffering or our rigid flights from trauma may be playing themselves out in our feelings of attraction. A useful starting place is to ask ourselves (perhaps in the company of a large sheet of paper, a pen and a free afternoon) what sort of people really put us off.

    Revulsion and disgust are useful first guides because we are likely to recognize that some of the traits that make us shiver are not objectively negative and yet feel to us distinctly off-putting. We might, for example, sense that someone who asks us too much about ourselves, or is very tender or dependable, will seem extremely eerie and frightening.

    And we might equally well, along the way, recognize that a degree of cruelty or distance belong to an odd list of the things we appear genuinely to need in order to love. It can be tricky to avoid self-censorship here, but the point isn’t to represent ourselves as reassuring, predictable people, but to get to know the curious quirks of our own psyches.

    We’ll tend to find that some ostensibly pretty nice things are getting caught in our love filters: people who are eloquent, clever, reliable, sunny can set off loud alarms. This is vital knowledge. We should pause and try to fathom where the aversions come from, what aspects of our past have made it so hard for us to accept certain sorts of emotional nourishment.

    Each time we recognize a negative, we’re discovering a crucial association in our own minds: we’re alighting on an impossibility of love based on associations from the past projected onto the present. An additional way we can get at the associations which circulate powerfully in the less noticed corners of our brains is to finish stub-sentences, that invite us to respond to things that might charm or repel us about someone.

    We get to see our own reactions more clearly when we write things down without thinking too much about our answers, catching the mind’s unconscious at work.

    For instance, we can deliberately jot the first things that come into our heads when we read the following:
    • If I tell a partner how much I need them, they will…
    • When someone tells me they really need me, I…
    • If someone can’t cope, I…
    • When someone tells me to get my act together, I …
    • If I were to be frank about my anxieties …
    • If my partner told me not to worry, I’d…
    • When someone blames me unfairly, I …

    Our honestly described reactions are legacies. They are revealing underlying assumptions we have acquired about what love can look like. We may start to get a clearer picture that our vision of what we are looking for in another person might not be an especially good guide to our personal or mutual happiness.

    Examining our emotional histories, we see that we can’t be attracted to just anyone. Getting to know the past, we come to recognise our earlier associations for what they are: generalisations we formed – entirely understandably – on the basis of just one or, hugely impressive, examples.

    We’ve unknowingly turned some local associations into strict rules for relationships. Even if we can’t radically shift the pattern, it’s useful to know that we are carrying a ball and chain. It can make us more careful of ourselves when we feel overwhelmed by a certainty that we’ve met the one, after a few minutes chatting at the bar.

    Ultimately, we stand to be liberated to love different people to our initial ‘types’, because we find that the qualities we like, and the ones we very much fear, are found in different constellations from those we encountered in the people who first taught us about affection, long ago in a childhood we are starting at last to understand and free ourselves from.

    The Counsellor
    A LONG READ How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy. The Romantic attitude sounds warm and kind. Its originators certainly imagined that it would bring an end to the sort of unhappy relationships previously brokered by parents and society. The only difficulty is that our obedience to instinct has, very often, proved to be a disaster of its own. Respecting the special feelings we get around certain people in nightclubs and train stations, parties and websites and that Romanticism so ably celebrated in art appears not to have led us to be any happier in our unions than a Medieval couple shackled into marriage by two royal courts keen to preserve the sovereignty of a slice of ancestral land. ‘Instinct’ has been little better than ‘calculation’ in underwriting the quality of our love stories. Romanticism would not at this point, however, give up the argument quite so easily. It would simply ascribe the difficulties we often have in love to not having looked hard enough for that central fixture of Romantic reverie: the right person. This being is inevitably still out there (every soul must have its soulmate, Romanticism assures us), it is just that we haven’t managed to track them down – yet. So we must continue the search, with all the technology and tenacity necessary, and maybe, once the divorce has come through and the house has been sold, we’ll get it right. But there’s another school of thought, this one influenced by psychoanalysis, which challenges the notion that instinct invariably draws us to those who will make us happy. The theory insists that we don’t fall in love first and foremost with those who care for us in ideal ways, we fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways. Adult love emerges from a template of how we should be loved that was created in childhood and is likely to be entwined with a range of problematic compulsions that militate in key ways against our chances of growth. We may believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood – and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care. The love most of us will have tasted early on was confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes. How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right – in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable – given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned. We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration. Psychoanalysis calls the process whereby we identify our partners ‘object choice’ – and recommends that we try to understand the factors semi-consciously governing our attractions in order to interrupt the unhealthier patterns that might be at play. Our instincts – our strong undercurrents of attraction and revulsion – stem from complicated experiences we had when we were far too young to understand them, and which linger in the antechambers of our minds. Psychoanalysis doesn’t wish to suggest that everything about our attractions will be deformed. We may have quite legitimate aspirations to positive qualities: intelligence, charm, generosity… But we are also liable to be fatefully drawn towards trickier tendencies: someone who is often absent, or treats us with a little disdain, or needs to be surrounded all the time by friends, or cannot master their finances. However paradoxical it can sound, without these tricky behaviours, we may simply not be able to feel passionate or tender with someone. Alternatively, we may have been so traumatised by a parental figure, we cannot approach any partner who shares qualities with them of any kind, even ones disconnected from their negative sides. We might in love be rigidly intolerant of anyone who is intelligent, or punctual or interested in science, simply because these were the traits of someone who caused us a great deal of difficulty early on. To choose our partners wisely, we need to tease out how our compulsions to suffering or our rigid flights from trauma may be playing themselves out in our feelings of attraction. A useful starting place is to ask ourselves (perhaps in the company of a large sheet of paper, a pen and a free afternoon) what sort of people really put us off. Revulsion and disgust are useful first guides because we are likely to recognize that some of the traits that make us shiver are not objectively negative and yet feel to us distinctly off-putting. We might, for example, sense that someone who asks us too much about ourselves, or is very tender or dependable, will seem extremely eerie and frightening. And we might equally well, along the way, recognize that a degree of cruelty or distance belong to an odd list of the things we appear genuinely to need in order to love. It can be tricky to avoid self-censorship here, but the point isn’t to represent ourselves as reassuring, predictable people, but to get to know the curious quirks of our own psyches. We’ll tend to find that some ostensibly pretty nice things are getting caught in our love filters: people who are eloquent, clever, reliable, sunny can set off loud alarms. This is vital knowledge. We should pause and try to fathom where the aversions come from, what aspects of our past have made it so hard for us to accept certain sorts of emotional nourishment. Each time we recognize a negative, we’re discovering a crucial association in our own minds: we’re alighting on an impossibility of love based on associations from the past projected onto the present. An additional way we can get at the associations which circulate powerfully in the less noticed corners of our brains is to finish stub-sentences, that invite us to respond to things that might charm or repel us about someone. We get to see our own reactions more clearly when we write things down without thinking too much about our answers, catching the mind’s unconscious at work. For instance, we can deliberately jot the first things that come into our heads when we read the following: • If I tell a partner how much I need them, they will… • When someone tells me they really need me, I… • If someone can’t cope, I… • When someone tells me to get my act together, I … • If I were to be frank about my anxieties … • If my partner told me not to worry, I’d… • When someone blames me unfairly, I … Our honestly described reactions are legacies. They are revealing underlying assumptions we have acquired about what love can look like. We may start to get a clearer picture that our vision of what we are looking for in another person might not be an especially good guide to our personal or mutual happiness. Examining our emotional histories, we see that we can’t be attracted to just anyone. Getting to know the past, we come to recognise our earlier associations for what they are: generalisations we formed – entirely understandably – on the basis of just one or, hugely impressive, examples. We’ve unknowingly turned some local associations into strict rules for relationships. Even if we can’t radically shift the pattern, it’s useful to know that we are carrying a ball and chain. It can make us more careful of ourselves when we feel overwhelmed by a certainty that we’ve met the one, after a few minutes chatting at the bar. Ultimately, we stand to be liberated to love different people to our initial ‘types’, because we find that the qualities we like, and the ones we very much fear, are found in different constellations from those we encountered in the people who first taught us about affection, long ago in a childhood we are starting at last to understand and free ourselves from. ©️The Counsellor
    0 Reacties 0 aandelen 53 Views
  • FOUR ZONES TO LEAVE IN THIS 2025


    Will you shock and surprise yourself by leaving these four zones?

    1. COMFORT ZONE. You must take calculated risks if you want to achieve any meaningful goals. Stop folding hands and wasting time. Go out and get busy

    2. BLAME ZONE. Blaming the government, your parents, ancestors, friends and other family members for not helping you is a waste of time. Work hard and take full responsibility of your failures and non achievements.

    3. PITY ZONE. Stop being dramatic by using emotional tactics to fence off your inability to succeed. OK, you are unemployed for 5 years after graduation and you think the whole world is unfair to you? There is no fair world. Create and innovate with your skills and vow never to depend on anyone again. Employ yourself

    4. HOSTAGE ZONE. Never allow others to treat you as a doormat in your relationships. Stop the hostage situation whereby you are forced to be unloved in return when you are sacrificing so much but recieving nothing. Draw the lines for a reciprocal rewarding relationship or quit.
    Make this month your month of self regulation, self realization and self discovery.

    STAY BLESSED
    FOUR ZONES TO LEAVE IN THIS 2025 Will you shock and surprise yourself by leaving these four zones? 1. COMFORT ZONE. You must take calculated risks if you want to achieve any meaningful goals. Stop folding hands and wasting time. Go out and get busy 2. BLAME ZONE. Blaming the government, your parents, ancestors, friends and other family members for not helping you is a waste of time. Work hard and take full responsibility of your failures and non achievements. 3. PITY ZONE. Stop being dramatic by using emotional tactics to fence off your inability to succeed. OK, you are unemployed for 5 years after graduation and you think the whole world is unfair to you? There is no fair world. Create and innovate with your skills and vow never to depend on anyone again. Employ yourself 4. HOSTAGE ZONE. Never allow others to treat you as a doormat in your relationships. Stop the hostage situation whereby you are forced to be unloved in return when you are sacrificing so much but recieving nothing. Draw the lines for a reciprocal rewarding relationship or quit. Make this month your month of self regulation, self realization and self discovery. STAY BLESSED 🙏❤️
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    💻📲YOUR NETWORK CREATES YOUR NETWORTH💰💵💸 | WhatsApp Channel
    💻📲YOUR NETWORK CREATES YOUR NETWORTH💰💵💸 WhatsApp Channel. *What If One Opportunity Comes And Change Your Sorrows To A Smile?* *Are you in Zimbabwe, South Africa, Botswana, Mozambique, Malawi, Namibia, Zambia, Nigeria, USA (etc?* _*I AM LOOKING FOR TWO GROUPS OF PEOPLE*_ *1) The YES l am Employed BUT!!!* � *My my income does not meet all my needs* � *I am working but im drowning in debts* � *I can't afford a house or car of my dreams* � *I wish that l had extra source of income* � *l can't afford to travel overseas for holiday* � *My time with family is limited because of my demanding Job* � *l am in need of financial freedom* *2) The YES I am unemployed group BUT!!!* � *l need a house and a Car* � *l need to be financially stable* � *l want to build a legacy for my family* � *l am tired of sitting at home and i need to earn* App or call +263775246643 *Sharing Is Caring*. 1.2K followers
    0 Reacties 1 aandelen 77 Views
  • The strongest relationships are not built on perfection but on two people who choose to love each other even when faced with imperfections and misunderstandings.
    The strongest relationships are not built on perfection but on two people who choose to love each other even when faced with imperfections and misunderstandings. ❤️
    0 Reacties 0 aandelen 79 Views
  • The older I get, the more I realize that clinginess in a relationship isn’t cute. It’s suffocating. Like, relax. We don’t have to be texting all day, every day. We don’t have to be together 24/7. A healthy relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself to another person. It means growing together while still having your own life. Go out with your friends. Find a hobby. Chase your goals. Do something that doesn’t involve me. The biggest mistake people make in relationships is thinking their partner is supposed to be their entire source of happiness. No, that’s your responsibility. Happiness is an inside job. No relationship can thrive when one or both partners are emotionally dependent on the other for their sense of fulfillment. I love affection. I love deep connections. But I also love my peace, my independence, and my own space to breathe and recharge. And I refuse to feel guilty for that. We should complement each other, not complete each other because we should already be whole.
    The older I get, the more I realize that clinginess in a relationship isn’t cute. It’s suffocating. Like, relax. We don’t have to be texting all day, every day. We don’t have to be together 24/7. A healthy relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself to another person. It means growing together while still having your own life. Go out with your friends. Find a hobby. Chase your goals. Do something that doesn’t involve me. The biggest mistake people make in relationships is thinking their partner is supposed to be their entire source of happiness. No, that’s your responsibility. Happiness is an inside job. No relationship can thrive when one or both partners are emotionally dependent on the other for their sense of fulfillment. I love affection. I love deep connections. But I also love my peace, my independence, and my own space to breathe and recharge. And I refuse to feel guilty for that. We should complement each other, not complete each other because we should already be whole.
    0 Reacties 3 aandelen 223 Views
  • LEAVE YOUR FEMALE STUDENTS ALONE!

    This is not just a warn!ng—this is a cr¥. A cr¥ for the girl child. A cr¥ for our schools. A cr¥ for sanity.

    Dear young male teacher,

    You are gifted. You are admired. Your presence alone makes the girls sit up, eager to learn. You speak with passion, you dress smart, you explain well—and you may not know this—but many of those girls in your class are secretly cru$h!ng on you.

    But listen carefully: Their admiration is not permission. Their smiles are not an invitation. Their boldness is not maturity.

    They are still children. Tender. VulnerabI3. Still figuring out their emotions. What they feel is not love—it is confusion dressed in admiration. They trust you. They believe in you. And when you cross that sacred line… you k!II something in them.

    You kiIIher confidence.
    You kiII her future.
    You kiII her right to grow up whole and safe.

    Let me tell you what many don’t talk about.

    There are girls walking around today—empty, br0ken, hiding pa!n under their makeup—because a teacher who was supposed to protect them u$ed them.

    Some dropped out of school with swollen bellies.
    Some ended up in danger0u$ relationships they didn’t deserve.
    Some can no longer focus in class.
    Some lost their voice.
    Some have never healed.

    And what’s worse? Many of them still blame themselves.

    You were supposed to be her mentor. Her light. Her guide. Instead, you became her first heartbr£ak, her first betrayaal, her first $hame.

    Let me say this loud and clear: If a girl student ever gets bold enough to come close, it is because you have already given her the signal.
    Yes—you may not have touched her yet, but your boundary is already weak. And weak boundaries are a silent invitation to destruct!on.

    Don’t tell yourself “it’s love.” It’s not.
    Don’t say “she started it.” She didn’t.
    Don’t say “others have done it.” That’s no excuse.

    The truth is: many male teachers have ru!ned the destiny of the girl child in the name of love. And nobody talks about it enough.

    Be different.

    Don’t become another reason why a girl can’t look a male teacher in the eye without f£ar. Don’t become the face she remembers every time the word “trust” is mentioned. Don’t destr0y a child to satisfy your weakness.

    You are not just teaching a subject—you are shaping a soul.

    So protect her.
    Guard your role.
    Be disciplined.
    Be a real man.
    Be the teacher she’ll write about with pride—not pa!n.

    Let this be the end of this madn€$$.
    Let the classroom be a place of growth, not trau.ma.

    If this message touched your heart, share it like fire.
    We must shout it louder until every teacher hears it:

    Leave the girl child alone. Let her grow. Let her breathe. Let her be safe.
    LEAVE YOUR FEMALE STUDENTS ALONE! This is not just a warn!ng—this is a cr¥. A cr¥ for the girl child. A cr¥ for our schools. A cr¥ for sanity. Dear young male teacher, You are gifted. You are admired. Your presence alone makes the girls sit up, eager to learn. You speak with passion, you dress smart, you explain well—and you may not know this—but many of those girls in your class are secretly cru$h!ng on you. But listen carefully: Their admiration is not permission. Their smiles are not an invitation. Their boldness is not maturity. They are still children. Tender. VulnerabI3. Still figuring out their emotions. What they feel is not love—it is confusion dressed in admiration. They trust you. They believe in you. And when you cross that sacred line… you k!II something in them. You kiIIher confidence. You kiII her future. You kiII her right to grow up whole and safe. Let me tell you what many don’t talk about. There are girls walking around today—empty, br0ken, hiding pa!n under their makeup—because a teacher who was supposed to protect them u$ed them. Some dropped out of school with swollen bellies. Some ended up in danger0u$ relationships they didn’t deserve. Some can no longer focus in class. Some lost their voice. Some have never healed. And what’s worse? Many of them still blame themselves. You were supposed to be her mentor. Her light. Her guide. Instead, you became her first heartbr£ak, her first betrayaal, her first $hame. Let me say this loud and clear: If a girl student ever gets bold enough to come close, it is because you have already given her the signal. Yes—you may not have touched her yet, but your boundary is already weak. And weak boundaries are a silent invitation to destruct!on. Don’t tell yourself “it’s love.” It’s not. Don’t say “she started it.” She didn’t. Don’t say “others have done it.” That’s no excuse. The truth is: many male teachers have ru!ned the destiny of the girl child in the name of love. And nobody talks about it enough. Be different. Don’t become another reason why a girl can’t look a male teacher in the eye without f£ar. Don’t become the face she remembers every time the word “trust” is mentioned. Don’t destr0y a child to satisfy your weakness. You are not just teaching a subject—you are shaping a soul. So protect her. Guard your role. Be disciplined. Be a real man. Be the teacher she’ll write about with pride—not pa!n. Let this be the end of this madn€$$. Let the classroom be a place of growth, not trau.ma. If this message touched your heart, share it like fire. We must shout it louder until every teacher hears it: Leave the girl child alone. Let her grow. Let her breathe. Let her be safe.
    0 Reacties 0 aandelen 48 Views
  • *THE RESTORER'S DAILY GUIDE*

    DATE: TUESDAY 10TH JUNE 2025

    THEME: *MANAGING USEFUL ENEMIES*

    MEMORISE
    Romans 8:31
    What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

    READ
    John 6:70
    Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil?

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    *The earth is a fallen place and does not produce perfect people.*

    MESSAGE
    We must face the fact and reality that the earth we live in is not an innocent earth, but a fallen earth with a perverse and crooked nature like that of the serpent.

    As such, we should not expect the earth to produce perfect people, seeing that it is corrupt and polluted through lust.

    In life, you will always come across people who don't like you, and who you probably do not like or appreciate. And oftentimes, you realize that such people are needed to facilitate some moves in your life and career. In other words, they are useful but too dangerous to be kept so close to you.
    The world is a place of conflict between both good and evil.

    Many times, both partner together to balance the chemo-coexistence of the earth. Sometimes, we realize that some things that are otherwise harmful and dangerous to our health are still very useful and needful. We just need to discover their place, purpose, and uses. For instance, the venom of snakes is dangerous and deadly but very essential and useful in medical practice. The consumption of alcohol which is dangerous to human lives, is also useful in maintaining body chemistry balance as the body already contains some percentage of it from the breakdown of what we eat regularly.

    Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior also found Himself in a situation where He needed useful enemies. His ministry and assignment on earth required the need for devils to facilitate.

    There was no way man would have been redeemed without the ministry of Satan, the thief, and murderer. Jesus needed to die to redeem us, He had to be betrayed, sold, and killed. All of these dirty jobs could only be carried out by Satan because they are his notable trademarks. This was why Judas was chosen. He was an enemy in the camp and a useful one, for that matter.

    In your life, you will realize that your assignment in life would require that you sometimes work closely with useful enemies. They are all around us whether we like it or not. But with the wisdom of God, we will get them to help us fulfil our purposes and move on with our lives as overcomers in Jesus name.
    David needed Goliath to announce his military prowess in Israel. Later in his life as a king, he needed Joab his defense minister to manage the army of Israel even though Joab was not altogether obeying the King's orders.

    Sometimes, those we call our enemies can be more useful and more profitable to us than our "so-called" friends if we can only manage them well.

    Receive grace today to manage the useful enemies around you in Jesus name. By all means, keep on gaining grounds irrespective of your adversaries. Shalom, maranatha!

    ACTION STEPS
    1. Take it to the Lord in prayer.
    2. Ask the Lord for wisdom on how to manage difficult but needed people around you.
    3. Follow peace with all men.

    PRAYERS
    Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for today's devotional guide. Oh God of restoration, give me wisdom to manage people that I need around me. Help me not to kill the relationships that I will always need in Jesus' name. Amen.

    REMEMBER
    *The earth is a fallen place and does not produce perfect people.*

    AUTHOR: JEDIDIAH DAVID

    DAILY READING: Ezekiel 29-30, Judges 3-4, Acts 3-4.

    HYMN
    All people that on earth do dwell,
    Sing to the Lord with cheerful voice:
    Him serve with mirth, His praise forth tell,
    Come ye before Him and rejoice.

    2
    Know that the Lord is God indeed,
    Without our aid He did us make :
    We are His flock.He doth us feed,
    And for His sheep He doth us take.

    3
    Oh, enter then His gates with praise,
    Approach with joy His courts unto :
    Praise,laud, and bless His name.
    For it is seemly so to do. [always,

    4
    For why ? the Lord our God is good,
    His mercy is for ever sure ;
    His truth at all times firmly stood,
    And shall from age to age endure.

    PLEASE SHARE
    *THE RESTORER'S DAILY GUIDE* DATE: TUESDAY 10TH JUNE 2025 THEME: *MANAGING USEFUL ENEMIES* MEMORISE Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? READ John 6:70 Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? THOUGHT FOR THE DAY *The earth is a fallen place and does not produce perfect people.* MESSAGE We must face the fact and reality that the earth we live in is not an innocent earth, but a fallen earth with a perverse and crooked nature like that of the serpent. As such, we should not expect the earth to produce perfect people, seeing that it is corrupt and polluted through lust. In life, you will always come across people who don't like you, and who you probably do not like or appreciate. And oftentimes, you realize that such people are needed to facilitate some moves in your life and career. In other words, they are useful but too dangerous to be kept so close to you. The world is a place of conflict between both good and evil. Many times, both partner together to balance the chemo-coexistence of the earth. Sometimes, we realize that some things that are otherwise harmful and dangerous to our health are still very useful and needful. We just need to discover their place, purpose, and uses. For instance, the venom of snakes is dangerous and deadly but very essential and useful in medical practice. The consumption of alcohol which is dangerous to human lives, is also useful in maintaining body chemistry balance as the body already contains some percentage of it from the breakdown of what we eat regularly. Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior also found Himself in a situation where He needed useful enemies. His ministry and assignment on earth required the need for devils to facilitate. There was no way man would have been redeemed without the ministry of Satan, the thief, and murderer. Jesus needed to die to redeem us, He had to be betrayed, sold, and killed. All of these dirty jobs could only be carried out by Satan because they are his notable trademarks. This was why Judas was chosen. He was an enemy in the camp and a useful one, for that matter. In your life, you will realize that your assignment in life would require that you sometimes work closely with useful enemies. They are all around us whether we like it or not. But with the wisdom of God, we will get them to help us fulfil our purposes and move on with our lives as overcomers in Jesus name. David needed Goliath to announce his military prowess in Israel. Later in his life as a king, he needed Joab his defense minister to manage the army of Israel even though Joab was not altogether obeying the King's orders. Sometimes, those we call our enemies can be more useful and more profitable to us than our "so-called" friends if we can only manage them well. Receive grace today to manage the useful enemies around you in Jesus name. By all means, keep on gaining grounds irrespective of your adversaries. Shalom, maranatha! ACTION STEPS 1. Take it to the Lord in prayer. 2. Ask the Lord for wisdom on how to manage difficult but needed people around you. 3. Follow peace with all men. PRAYERS Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for today's devotional guide. Oh God of restoration, give me wisdom to manage people that I need around me. Help me not to kill the relationships that I will always need in Jesus' name. Amen. REMEMBER *The earth is a fallen place and does not produce perfect people.* AUTHOR: JEDIDIAH DAVID DAILY READING: Ezekiel 29-30, Judges 3-4, Acts 3-4. HYMN All people that on earth do dwell, Sing to the Lord with cheerful voice: Him serve with mirth, His praise forth tell, Come ye before Him and rejoice. 2 Know that the Lord is God indeed, Without our aid He did us make : We are His flock.He doth us feed, And for His sheep He doth us take. 3 Oh, enter then His gates with praise, Approach with joy His courts unto : Praise,laud, and bless His name. For it is seemly so to do. [always, 4 For why ? the Lord our God is good, His mercy is for ever sure ; His truth at all times firmly stood, And shall from age to age endure. PLEASE SHARE
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  • *OPEN HEAVENS DAILY DEVOTIONAL*

    *DATE: MONDAY 9TH JUNE 2025.*

    *TOPIC: CLEAVE AS ONE, PART 1*

    *MEMORIZE*
    “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (KJV)

    *BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 5:15-21*
    15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

    16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.

    17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.

    18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

    19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

    20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

    21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.

    *MESSAGE:*
    We live in a fast-paced world where many people are chasing wealth and riches at all costs. As a result, many marriages are suffering. In some cases, a husband works in a different state or country while the rest of his family lives in another state or country. Long-distance courtships have existed for a long time, but now, we have long-distance marriages. In truth, however, a long-distance marriage isn’t healthy for any family. A couple can have a short-term arrangement for them to be apart for unavoidable reasons, but this should not be for long.

    Many cases of infidelity in marriage result from the absence of one spouse. Sometimes, even married couples that live together practice long-distance marriages. This might be because one spouse leaves for work very early in the morning and gets back very late at night. Such couples are living separate lives, and one or both of the spouses are likely to form connections with the people they spend most of their time with in their spouse's absence. Such connections can turn into ungodly affairs.

    As a married fellow, if you notice that you prefer talking to other people than talking to your spouse, there is fire on the mountain. When you prefer spending time outside your home rather than with your spouse, there is trouble. When you prefer discussing intimate issues with your 'friends' of the opposite sex instead of your spouse, you should retrace your steps and work on fixing whatever issues that exist in your marriage. Don't deceive yourself by saying, "I'm not doing anything with that fellow; we are just friends." Most extra-marital relationships start from casual friendships, and after a while, the devil introduces temptations that can lead to sinful acts. I pray that you will overcome any temptation that can destroy your marriage, in Jesus' name.

    If you're married, spend more time with your spouse and make him or her your confidant. Go out to fun places and take frequent walks together. At least once a month, dress up and go on a date. Book a hotel room or a private lodge for a weekend at least once every year so you can spend quality time with your spouse, away from all distractions. After your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse is the most important in your life because God has designed you both to become one, as today's memory verse points out. Be intentional about cleaving to your spouse, and God will bless your marriage, in Jesus' name.

    *KEY POINT*
    Married people should be intentional about spending quality time with their spouses.

    *AUTHOR: PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE*

    *BIBLE READING IN ONE YEAR:*
    *PSALMS 22 - 27*

    *HYMNAL 31 - YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION*
    1. Yield not to temptation,
    For yielding is sin; Each victory will help you Some other to win; Fight manfully onward, Dark passions subdue; Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.
    Ask the Saviour to help you
    Comfort, strengthen, and keep
    you; He is willing to aid you,
    He will carry you through.

    2. Shun evil companions,
    Bad language disdain; God's name hold in reverence, Nor take it in vain; Be thoughtful and earnest, Kindhearted and true; Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.

    3. To him that overcometh God giveth a crown; through faith we will conquer, though often cast down; he who is our saviour our strength will renew; look ever to Jesus, he'll carry you through.
    *OPEN HEAVENS DAILY DEVOTIONAL* *DATE: MONDAY 9TH JUNE 2025.* *TOPIC: CLEAVE AS ONE, PART 1* *MEMORIZE* “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (KJV) *BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 5:15-21* 15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. 17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. 18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. 20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? 21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. *MESSAGE:* We live in a fast-paced world where many people are chasing wealth and riches at all costs. As a result, many marriages are suffering. In some cases, a husband works in a different state or country while the rest of his family lives in another state or country. Long-distance courtships have existed for a long time, but now, we have long-distance marriages. In truth, however, a long-distance marriage isn’t healthy for any family. A couple can have a short-term arrangement for them to be apart for unavoidable reasons, but this should not be for long. Many cases of infidelity in marriage result from the absence of one spouse. Sometimes, even married couples that live together practice long-distance marriages. This might be because one spouse leaves for work very early in the morning and gets back very late at night. Such couples are living separate lives, and one or both of the spouses are likely to form connections with the people they spend most of their time with in their spouse's absence. Such connections can turn into ungodly affairs. As a married fellow, if you notice that you prefer talking to other people than talking to your spouse, there is fire on the mountain. When you prefer spending time outside your home rather than with your spouse, there is trouble. When you prefer discussing intimate issues with your 'friends' of the opposite sex instead of your spouse, you should retrace your steps and work on fixing whatever issues that exist in your marriage. Don't deceive yourself by saying, "I'm not doing anything with that fellow; we are just friends." Most extra-marital relationships start from casual friendships, and after a while, the devil introduces temptations that can lead to sinful acts. I pray that you will overcome any temptation that can destroy your marriage, in Jesus' name. If you're married, spend more time with your spouse and make him or her your confidant. Go out to fun places and take frequent walks together. At least once a month, dress up and go on a date. Book a hotel room or a private lodge for a weekend at least once every year so you can spend quality time with your spouse, away from all distractions. After your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse is the most important in your life because God has designed you both to become one, as today's memory verse points out. Be intentional about cleaving to your spouse, and God will bless your marriage, in Jesus' name. *KEY POINT* Married people should be intentional about spending quality time with their spouses. *AUTHOR: PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE* *BIBLE READING IN ONE YEAR:* *PSALMS 22 - 27* *HYMNAL 31 - YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION* 1. Yield not to temptation, For yielding is sin; Each victory will help you Some other to win; Fight manfully onward, Dark passions subdue; Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through. Ask the Saviour to help you Comfort, strengthen, and keep you; He is willing to aid you, He will carry you through. 2. Shun evil companions, Bad language disdain; God's name hold in reverence, Nor take it in vain; Be thoughtful and earnest, Kindhearted and true; Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through. 3. To him that overcometh God giveth a crown; through faith we will conquer, though often cast down; he who is our saviour our strength will renew; look ever to Jesus, he'll carry you through.
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  • Genuine love, also known as real or authentic love, is characterized by sincere feelings and commitment that are not superficial or insincere. It is a love that is not based on fleeting infatuation or manipulation, but rather on deep admiration and care for the other person's well-being.

    Genuine love is not a facade or an act. It stems from a deep, heartfelt connection and genuine affection.

    Unconditional:
    It accepts the other person, flaws and all, and provides support without expectation of something in return.
    Respectful and Caring:
    It prioritizes the other person's needs, happiness, and well-being, and is always respectful of their boundaries.

    Honest and Open: It involves open and honest communication, even when difficult conversations are necessary.

    Selfless: It places the needs of the other person above one's own, even when it requires sacrifice.

    Trust and Intimacy: It builds a strong foundation of trust and intimacy, allowing for vulnerability and emotional closeness. Distinguishing Features from Other Types of "Love":

    Infatuation: Infatuation is a temporary and intense emotional state often driven by physical attraction, while genuine love is based on a deeper connection and understanding.
    Convenience or Dependence:
    Some relationships may be driven by convenience, dependence, or other external factors rather than genuine love.

    Self-Love: While self-love is important, it should not be confused with genuine love for another person.
    In essence, genuine love is a deep, heartfelt connection that is built on mutual respect, understanding, and a commitment to each other's well-being. It is a love that lasts through thick and thin, and is a testament to the enduring power of human connection.
    Genuine love, also known as real or authentic love, is characterized by sincere feelings and commitment that are not superficial or insincere. It is a love that is not based on fleeting infatuation or manipulation, but rather on deep admiration and care for the other person's well-being. Genuine love is not a facade or an act. It stems from a deep, heartfelt connection and genuine affection. Unconditional: It accepts the other person, flaws and all, and provides support without expectation of something in return. Respectful and Caring: It prioritizes the other person's needs, happiness, and well-being, and is always respectful of their boundaries. Honest and Open: It involves open and honest communication, even when difficult conversations are necessary. Selfless: It places the needs of the other person above one's own, even when it requires sacrifice. Trust and Intimacy: It builds a strong foundation of trust and intimacy, allowing for vulnerability and emotional closeness. Distinguishing Features from Other Types of "Love": Infatuation: Infatuation is a temporary and intense emotional state often driven by physical attraction, while genuine love is based on a deeper connection and understanding. Convenience or Dependence: Some relationships may be driven by convenience, dependence, or other external factors rather than genuine love. Self-Love: While self-love is important, it should not be confused with genuine love for another person. In essence, genuine love is a deep, heartfelt connection that is built on mutual respect, understanding, and a commitment to each other's well-being. It is a love that lasts through thick and thin, and is a testament to the enduring power of human connection.
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  • Honesty encompasses being truthful, sincere, and free from deceit in one's words, actions, and overall conduct. It involves not only telling the truth but also having integrity and acting fairly. Honesty is a fundamental aspect of building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.

    Key aspects of honesty: Truthfulness:
    Honesty means speaking the truth and avoiding lies or deception.

    Integrity: It involves maintaining ethical principles and acting with sincerity in all situations.

    Fairness: Honesty also implies treating others justly and avoiding bias or prejudice.

    Self-awareness: Being honest with oneself is crucial for personal growth and building confidence.

    Trust and respect: Honesty is essential for fostering trust and respect in social interactions.

    Foundation for progress: Honesty is vital for individual and societal progress, as dishonesty can lead to problems and hinder development.
    Honesty encompasses being truthful, sincere, and free from deceit in one's words, actions, and overall conduct. It involves not only telling the truth but also having integrity and acting fairly. Honesty is a fundamental aspect of building trust and maintaining healthy relationships. Key aspects of honesty: Truthfulness: Honesty means speaking the truth and avoiding lies or deception. Integrity: It involves maintaining ethical principles and acting with sincerity in all situations. Fairness: Honesty also implies treating others justly and avoiding bias or prejudice. Self-awareness: Being honest with oneself is crucial for personal growth and building confidence. Trust and respect: Honesty is essential for fostering trust and respect in social interactions. Foundation for progress: Honesty is vital for individual and societal progress, as dishonesty can lead to problems and hinder development.
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  • *What to Have Before You Become a Wife *

    Dear Single Lady, i know you're Preparing for a beautiful future, and marriage is one of those beautiful journey of life you desire.

    But before stepping into it, it's important you prepare— not just with wedding plans, but with the right mindset, habits, and heart. Wedding is not marriage, and marriage is not a day experience.

    So before you become a wife; Have

    1. A Strong Relationship with Yourself

    Know who you are. Understand your values, your dreams, and your emotions.

    Self-love and self-respect lay the foundation for a healthy relationship with someone else.

    Don't expect a man to fully love and respect you when you don't love and respect yourself or you're still confused about yourself.

    Know what you can do and what you can't do. The flaws you can manage in a man, and the toxic habits you can't endure.

    2. Emotional Maturity

    Can you handle disagreements without losing control? Can you forgive, communicate, and listen to your man with love?

    In as much as you're willing to be a submissive wife, understand that You won't always agree with your husband.
    There will be days of misunderstanding. There will days where you don't feel like talking to him. And there will be days when you'll look at him with a bombastic side eyes and feel like shouting ontop of your voice— at him. So start learning Conflict Resolution Skills.

    Learn Good Communication Skills too.

    Marriage requires honest, gentle, and respectful conversations. So you must Learn how to address a man.

    Start Practicing how to express yourself clearly and calmly, even when things get tough.

    Develop good manner of approach and speech. Learn how to resolve issues with calmness and respect instead of anger or silence.

    A peaceful home is not a home without problems, it's a home where problems are handled with wisdom.

    3. Financial Wisdom

    You don't need to be rich, but it's wise you learn how to manage money, budget, save, and spend wisely. Marriage involves sharing responsibilities, and finances are a big part of that.

    You may not have money in your pocket now, but have a brain that can generate millions. Don't be empty physically and mentally.

    Imagine you meet a man who's ready to help you grow, what do you have that he can use to establish you

    Don't wait for a man to come into your life and start building your from scratch. Have something— physically or mentally, or both.

    Don't sit down lazying around— believing you'll get any man or thing you want because you're beautiful. Your power doesn't lie in your beauty/body— it lies in your BRAIN. Feed your brain!



    4. A Clear Vision and Purpose for Life

    What kind of life do you want to build? What are your priorities— faith, career, children, purpose?

    Do you want to raise worldly children or Godly children? Do you want a marriage centered in Christ or Crisis? Do you want to be a career wife or a house wife?

    It's very important to know where you're headed in life so you can choose a man who shares and supports that vision.

    Don't be the type of lady who just want to want to birth kid, eat and sleep.

    If all you're concerned about as a lady is trending things and fashion, you may get frustrated when you enter marriage and your expectations are not been met.

    Luxuries are good, but have a vision and a purpose that can birth impacts. Impacts generates money, and money brings comfort.


    5. Sound Marital Knowledge

    You want to get married without knowing anything about marriage?

    In as much as there will be some shocking discoveries you'll experience inside marriage, you still have to equip yourself well to some extent.

    You don't prepare for battle in the battlefield, you prepare ahead of it.

    You want marriage. You want to answer a 'wife' . You want to be a mother. But you haven't read upto 5 positive books that teaches about healthy marriage, becoming a wife of value, and a fulfilled mother. You don't even study God's standard for marriage— your bible.

    All you do is to go on dates, then come back home and watch movies. Keep playing

    Even when you prepare yourself, the practical aspect of marriage will still give you some shocks. Now imagine what will happen if you don't equip yourself at all ?

    Show me a man who is going for war without arming himself, and I'll show you a man who has made up his mind to be k!!led even before he gets to the warfront.

    Marriage is not a play. Get the right Knowledge as much as you can.

    6. Healing from Past Wounds

    Unresolved pain from your past relationships or childhood can cause problems later in your marriage.

    Please Take time to heal, forgive, and let go of your past relationship hurts before planning of getting married.

    Don't carry what your Ex did to you into marriage and start pun!shing your husband with it. You may de$tɍoy your marriage.

    Find peace first. A peaceful heart makes room for love to grow.

    7. The Right Community

    Surround yourself with wise women— married, single, and older— who can guide you, pray with you, and give sound advice. You'll need them before and after marriage.

    Stay away from feminist if you truly want to enjoy your marriage.

    Anyone who advises you to equal yourself to your man doesn't mean well for you. Avoid them.


    8. A Lifestyle of Responsibility

    Can you take care of your home, your health, your work, and your spiritual life without being pushed?

    Marriage doesn't magically make people responsible, you carry your habits into it and it amplifies them.
    Start building them now— the right habits.

    Start learning how to cook, keep the home neat, take care of kids.

    9. Hobbies and Passions

    In preparing to become a wife, You have to learn to trust God's timing. But while you wait, grow.

    Don't lose yourself because you're waiting for marriage. Explore your talents, pursue passions, build a meaningful life outside of your relationship. Work on yourself, build your dreams, and enjoy your season.

    When you're a well-rounded woman, you'll bring joy, depth, and beauty into your home.

    10. A Prayer Life

    Marriage will challenge your emotions, your faith, your patience, and your strength— and that's why you must start now to build your relationship with God.

    A praying woman builds her home in wisdom. So Start now! Make prayer your anchor, not your backup plan.

    A kneeling woman is a winning woman!


    Dear unmarried lady, Marriage won't fix your life, it will add to it. So build a life you love— then share it with a man who truly values it.

    Building yourself means you don't expect your man to complete you— you're already whole.

    So as a single lady, you must understand that becoming a wife is not just about finding the right man, it's about becoming the right woman.

    A wife is not just a title, it's a calling, and preparation is key.

    Don't just sit and be waiting to be chosen— Prepare yourself too to choose wisely, to love deeply, and to thrive in your marriage, not just survive in it.

    Marriage is meant to be ENJOYED , not to be ENDURED .

    You are worth the wait. PEACE!
    *What to Have Before You Become a Wife📌 👇* Dear Single Lady, i know you're Preparing for a beautiful future, and marriage is one of those beautiful journey of life you desire. But before stepping into it, it's important you prepare— not just with wedding plans, but with the right mindset, habits, and heart. Wedding is not marriage, and marriage is not a day experience. So before you become a wife; Have 1. A Strong Relationship with Yourself Know who you are. Understand your values, your dreams, and your emotions. Self-love and self-respect lay the foundation for a healthy relationship with someone else. Don't expect a man to fully love and respect you when you don't love and respect yourself or you're still confused about yourself. Know what you can do and what you can't do. The flaws you can manage in a man, and the toxic habits you can't endure. 2. Emotional Maturity Can you handle disagreements without losing control? Can you forgive, communicate, and listen to your man with love? In as much as you're willing to be a submissive wife, understand that You won't always agree with your husband. There will be days of misunderstanding. There will days where you don't feel like talking to him. And there will be days when you'll look at him with a bombastic side eyes and feel like shouting ontop of your voice— at him. So start learning Conflict Resolution Skills. Learn Good Communication Skills too. Marriage requires honest, gentle, and respectful conversations. So you must Learn how to address a man. Start Practicing how to express yourself clearly and calmly, even when things get tough. Develop good manner of approach and speech. Learn how to resolve issues with calmness and respect instead of anger or silence. A peaceful home is not a home without problems, it's a home where problems are handled with wisdom. 3. Financial Wisdom You don't need to be rich, but it's wise you learn how to manage money, budget, save, and spend wisely. Marriage involves sharing responsibilities, and finances are a big part of that. You may not have money in your pocket now, but have a brain that can generate millions. Don't be empty physically and mentally. Imagine you meet a man who's ready to help you grow, what do you have that he can use to establish you❓ Don't wait for a man to come into your life and start building your from scratch. Have something— physically or mentally, or both. Don't sit down lazying around— believing you'll get any man or thing you want because you're beautiful. Your power doesn't lie in your beauty/body— it lies in your BRAIN. Feed your brain! • 4. A Clear Vision and Purpose for Life What kind of life do you want to build? What are your priorities— faith, career, children, purpose? Do you want to raise worldly children or Godly children? Do you want a marriage centered in Christ or Crisis? Do you want to be a career wife or a house wife? It's very important to know where you're headed in life so you can choose a man who shares and supports that vision. Don't be the type of lady who just want to want to birth kid, eat and sleep. If all you're concerned about as a lady is trending things and fashion, you may get frustrated when you enter marriage and your expectations are not been met. Luxuries are good, but have a vision and a purpose that can birth impacts. Impacts generates money, and money brings comfort. 5. Sound Marital Knowledge You want to get married without knowing anything about marriage? In as much as there will be some shocking discoveries you'll experience inside marriage, you still have to equip yourself well to some extent. You don't prepare for battle in the battlefield, you prepare ahead of it. You want marriage. You want to answer a 'wife' . You want to be a mother. But you haven't read upto 5 positive books that teaches about healthy marriage, becoming a wife of value, and a fulfilled mother. You don't even study God's standard for marriage— your bible. All you do is to go on dates, then come back home and watch movies. Keep playing 🙄 Even when you prepare yourself, the practical aspect of marriage will still give you some shocks. Now imagine what will happen if you don't equip yourself at all ? Show me a man who is going for war without arming himself, and I'll show you a man who has made up his mind to be k!!led even before he gets to the warfront. Marriage is not a play. Get the right Knowledge as much as you can. 6. Healing from Past Wounds Unresolved pain from your past relationships or childhood can cause problems later in your marriage. Please Take time to heal, forgive, and let go of your past relationship hurts before planning of getting married. Don't carry what your Ex did to you into marriage and start pun!shing your husband with it. You may de$tɍoy your marriage. Find peace first. A peaceful heart makes room for love to grow. 7. The Right Community Surround yourself with wise women— married, single, and older— who can guide you, pray with you, and give sound advice. You'll need them before and after marriage. Stay away from feminist if you truly want to enjoy your marriage. Anyone who advises you to equal yourself to your man doesn't mean well for you. Avoid them. 8. A Lifestyle of Responsibility Can you take care of your home, your health, your work, and your spiritual life without being pushed? Marriage doesn't magically make people responsible, you carry your habits into it and it amplifies them. Start building them now— the right habits. Start learning how to cook, keep the home neat, take care of kids. 9. Hobbies and Passions In preparing to become a wife, You have to learn to trust God's timing. But while you wait, grow. Don't lose yourself because you're waiting for marriage. Explore your talents, pursue passions, build a meaningful life outside of your relationship. Work on yourself, build your dreams, and enjoy your season. When you're a well-rounded woman, you'll bring joy, depth, and beauty into your home. 10. A Prayer Life Marriage will challenge your emotions, your faith, your patience, and your strength— and that's why you must start now to build your relationship with God. A praying woman builds her home in wisdom. So Start now! Make prayer your anchor, not your backup plan. A kneeling woman is a winning woman! Dear unmarried lady, Marriage won't fix your life, it will add to it. So build a life you love— then share it with a man who truly values it. Building yourself means you don't expect your man to complete you— you're already whole. So as a single lady, you must understand that becoming a wife is not just about finding the right man, it's about becoming the right woman. A wife is not just a title, it's a calling, and preparation is key. Don't just sit and be waiting to be chosen— Prepare yourself too to choose wisely, to love deeply, and to thrive in your marriage, not just survive in it. Marriage is meant to be ENJOYED ✅, not to be ENDURED ❌. You are worth the wait. PEACE!🕊️
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    💑MARRIAGE TIPS, HEALTH AND BUSINESS ADVICES 💞💃 | WhatsApp Channel
    💑MARRIAGE TIPS, HEALTH AND BUSINESS ADVICES 💞💃 WhatsApp Channel. *❤️MARRIAGE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING CREATED BY GOD,* *FOR YOU TO ENJOY IT THERE ARE SOME TIPS AND ADVICE YOU NEED TO LEARN:🌹* *6 SECRETS IN MARRIAGE THAT WILL SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR BETTER!*🍹 Secret 1 *Everyone you marry has a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness you can't get the best out of his strength.* Secret 2 *Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone's past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future.* Secret 3 *Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there.* Secret 4 *Every marriage has different levels of success. Don't compare your marriage with any one else. We can never be equal. Some will be far, some behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true.* Secret 5 *To get married is declaring war. When you get married you must declare war against enemies of marriage. Some enemies of marriage are:* 1. Ignorance 2. Prayerlessness 3. Unforgiveness 4. Third party influence 5. Stinginess 6. Stubbornness 7. Lack of love 9. Rudeness 10. Laziness 11. Disrespect 12. Cheating Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone. Secret 6 *There is no perfect marriage.There is no ready made marriage. Marriage is hard work. Volunteer yourself to work daily on it.* *Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owner to danger or some unhealthy circumstances Let us not be careless about our marriages.🙏*. 38K followers
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  • MATURITY IS A MINDSET, NOT AGE. HERE ARE 14 SIGNS YOU ARE MATURE :

    You are not scared to be alone.

    You realize money is not evil. Lack of money is.

    You know that you are your worst enemy and you are your best supporter too.

    You realize that life's much better when no one knows anything about you.

    You don't care what other people think about you anymore.

    You stop chasing meaningless relationships and focus on improving yourself.

    You focus more on the opportunity of learning than the risk of failure.

    You don't stress about things that are out of your control.

    You understand that 9-5 won't help you achieve financial freedom.

    You understand that you get paid based on the value you are providing.

    In the real world, grades aren't the only measure of value. Connections, background, and practical skills often surpass academic performance. While grades may open doors.

    You understand that life's much better when you focus on improving yourself rather than partying every weekend.

    You realize that in the end only your family and a few true friends will be there for you.

    You also realize that in the end, even your family and friends will leave you, only the God remains with you. #moneyupacademy #MoneyUpAcademy
    MATURITY IS A MINDSET, NOT AGE. HERE ARE 14 SIGNS YOU ARE MATURE : You are not scared to be alone. You realize money is not evil. Lack of money is. You know that you are your worst enemy and you are your best supporter too. You realize that life's much better when no one knows anything about you. You don't care what other people think about you anymore. You stop chasing meaningless relationships and focus on improving yourself. You focus more on the opportunity of learning than the risk of failure. You don't stress about things that are out of your control. You understand that 9-5 won't help you achieve financial freedom. You understand that you get paid based on the value you are providing. In the real world, grades aren't the only measure of value. Connections, background, and practical skills often surpass academic performance. While grades may open doors. You understand that life's much better when you focus on improving yourself rather than partying every weekend. You realize that in the end only your family and a few true friends will be there for you. You also realize that in the end, even your family and friends will leave you, only the God remains with you. #moneyupacademy #MoneyUpAcademy
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  • YOUR MOM MAKES ME HAPPY*

    *Episode 4: A Family Affair*

    Omar decided it was time for Sarah to meet his family. He was excited to introduce her to the people he loved, and he hoped they would love her just as much.

    As they arrived at his parents' house, Omar's mom, Fatima, greeted them with a warm smile. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Sarah!" she exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

    Sarah was charmed by Fatima's warmth and hospitality. She felt at ease as they sat down for dinner, surrounded by Omar's family. Ahmed, Omar's dad, asked Sarah questions about her interests and hobbies, and she impressed him with her intelligence and kindness.

    As the evening progressed, Omar watched Sarah laugh and joke with his family, feeling grateful that they seemed to get along so well. He knew that his family was important to him, and it meant a lot that they liked Sarah.

    After dinner, Fatima pulled Omar aside and whispered, "She's lovely, beta (son). You two seem perfect for each other."

    Omar smiled, feeling happy that his mom approved. "Thanks, Mom. I'm really falling for her."

    Fatima smiled back. "I can see that. Just remember, relationships take work, but if you both are committed, you can build a beautiful life together."

    Omar nodded, taking his mom's words to heart. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life making Sarah happy, and he hoped she felt the same way...

    (To be continued...)
    YOUR MOM MAKES ME HAPPY* *Episode 4: A Family Affair* Omar decided it was time for Sarah to meet his family. He was excited to introduce her to the people he loved, and he hoped they would love her just as much. As they arrived at his parents' house, Omar's mom, Fatima, greeted them with a warm smile. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Sarah!" she exclaimed, hugging her tightly. Sarah was charmed by Fatima's warmth and hospitality. She felt at ease as they sat down for dinner, surrounded by Omar's family. Ahmed, Omar's dad, asked Sarah questions about her interests and hobbies, and she impressed him with her intelligence and kindness. As the evening progressed, Omar watched Sarah laugh and joke with his family, feeling grateful that they seemed to get along so well. He knew that his family was important to him, and it meant a lot that they liked Sarah. After dinner, Fatima pulled Omar aside and whispered, "She's lovely, beta (son). You two seem perfect for each other." Omar smiled, feeling happy that his mom approved. "Thanks, Mom. I'm really falling for her." Fatima smiled back. "I can see that. Just remember, relationships take work, but if you both are committed, you can build a beautiful life together." Omar nodded, taking his mom's words to heart. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life making Sarah happy, and he hoped she felt the same way... (To be continued...)
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