Help. We’ve been married for almost a year now, and there’s an issue that keeps coming up between us. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I need some enlightenment — maybe to better understand him, or to know if I’m just overreacting to the little details.
For context, my husband comes from a family of eight. He’s the only one who’s married so far. Most of his siblings, especially the eldest, are still supporting their parents — not just for their needs, but even for their wants.
When we got married, I believed that open communication would be key to a strong partnership. That’s why I always made an effort to be transparent with him. I told him that “what’s mine is yours,” and I hoped we would apply that both ways — especially when it comes to our finances.
But the problem is, whenever his parents ask for something, I’m always the last to know — or I just happen to read it by accident. At first, I didn’t mind, since we both have stable jobs and we’re earning our own income. But as time passed, I began to feel that these things should be discussed between us. At the very least, I thought I should be informed.
Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he always cuts me off and says, “Para ra man ni sa akong ginikanan” — as if I’m complaining about him giving. But I’m not. I’m not questioning the act of giving. What hurts is that I wasn’t even informed, consulted, or made part of the decision.
We’re married now. I thought we’re supposed to act as one. But every time this happens, I feel like I don’t matter. It’s always just between them — his mom asking for this, that, and more — and I’m completely out of the loop. It’s as if he’s not married at all.
And when I try to open up and suggest we talk things through calmly, he turns it into a bigger issue. He always says it’s easy for me to say those things because I don’t have any problems with my own family. But that’s not the point. I’m not comparing. I just want us to be united and to respect each other as partners.
Help. We’ve been married for almost a year now, and there’s an issue that keeps coming up between us. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I need some enlightenment — maybe to better understand him, or to know if I’m just overreacting to the little details.
For context, my husband comes from a family of eight. He’s the only one who’s married so far. Most of his siblings, especially the eldest, are still supporting their parents — not just for their needs, but even for their wants.
When we got married, I believed that open communication would be key to a strong partnership. That’s why I always made an effort to be transparent with him. I told him that “what’s mine is yours,” and I hoped we would apply that both ways — especially when it comes to our finances.
But the problem is, whenever his parents ask for something, I’m always the last to know — or I just happen to read it by accident. At first, I didn’t mind, since we both have stable jobs and we’re earning our own income. But as time passed, I began to feel that these things should be discussed between us. At the very least, I thought I should be informed.
Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he always cuts me off and says, “Para ra man ni sa akong ginikanan” — as if I’m complaining about him giving. But I’m not. I’m not questioning the act of giving. What hurts is that I wasn’t even informed, consulted, or made part of the decision.
We’re married now. I thought we’re supposed to act as one. But every time this happens, I feel like I don’t matter. It’s always just between them — his mom asking for this, that, and more — and I’m completely out of the loop. It’s as if he’s not married at all.
And when I try to open up and suggest we talk things through calmly, he turns it into a bigger issue. He always says it’s easy for me to say those things because I don’t have any problems with my own family. But that’s not the point. I’m not comparing. I just want us to be united and to respect each other as partners.
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