Legend... Lives on in our hearts

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Legend... Lives on in our hearts

Help. We’ve been married for almost a year now, and there’s an issue that keeps coming up between us. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I need some enlightenment — maybe to better understand him, or to know if I’m just overreacting to the little details.

For context, my husband comes from a family of eight. He’s the only one who’s married so far. Most of his siblings, especially the eldest, are still supporting their parents — not just for their needs, but even for their wants.

When we got married, I believed that open communication would be key to a strong partnership. That’s why I always made an effort to be transparent with him. I told him that “what’s mine is yours,” and I hoped we would apply that both ways — especially when it comes to our finances.

But the problem is, whenever his parents ask for something, I’m always the last to know — or I just happen to read it by accident. At first, I didn’t mind, since we both have stable jobs and we’re earning our own income. But as time passed, I began to feel that these things should be discussed between us. At the very least, I thought I should be informed.

Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he always cuts me off and says, “Para ra man ni sa akong ginikanan” — as if I’m complaining about him giving. But I’m not. I’m not questioning the act of giving. What hurts is that I wasn’t even informed, consulted, or made part of the decision.

We’re married now. I thought we’re supposed to act as one. But every time this happens, I feel like I don’t matter. It’s always just between them — his mom asking for this, that, and more — and I’m completely out of the loop. It’s as if he’s not married at all.

And when I try to open up and suggest we talk things through calmly, he turns it into a bigger issue. He always says it’s easy for me to say those things because I don’t have any problems with my own family. But that’s not the point. I’m not comparing. I just want us to be united and to respect each other as partners.

It is mind that has thoughts and feelings, not I. Birth, growth, decay and death pertain to the body and not to Me.