• 7 WAYS TO BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (PART 2)

    The short story in between should teach you a lesson.

    In Part 1, I spoke about “Being honest, Even about the small things” and in Part 2, it will be:

    2. FOLLOW THROUGH, ON YOUR PROMISES

    Esther had learned to lower her expectations. Phil, her husband, had a pattern—big words, little follow-through or zero action. He promised to visit her parents. Months passed. Nothing. He said they’d attend their son’s graduation together. He went to watch football match that day.

    So, when he promised to pick her up from Abuja airport after her trip, she was cautiously hopeful. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ve set a reminder,” he assured her.

    But as she wheeled her luggage out at 7 p.m., there was no sign of him. No call. No message. Just silence. She waited. Tried his lines severally, to no avail. After an hour, she got a cab and went home.

    When she walked in, he said with a laugh, “Ah! Esther, I completely forgot. Something came up.”

    She smiled faintly, but inside, something broke. It wasn’t about the airport—it was everything else. One forgotten promise after another.

    Let’s be factual here

    Trust erodes over time when words stop matching actions.
    It’s not just about one event—it’s the accumulation of disappointments that makes a partner feel unseen, unvalued, and emotionally unsafe.

    It is totally wrong to consistently break your promise to people (especially your partner)

    Simple guide on how to keep your promise:

    Don’t promise what you know will be impossible or hard for you to deliver.
    If your plans change or you sense you cannot meet up, communicate clearly and respectfully to your partner.
    Consistency over time is what builds real trust, so be consistent.

    Scripture puts it this way:

    “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘or Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’.” — Matthew 5:37

    Your #relationshipcoach
    #marriagecounselor
    #lovebankers
    7 WAYS TO BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (PART 2) The short story in between should teach you a lesson. In Part 1, I spoke about “Being honest, Even about the small things” and in Part 2, it will be: 2. FOLLOW THROUGH, ON YOUR PROMISES Esther had learned to lower her expectations. Phil, her husband, had a pattern—big words, little follow-through or zero action. He promised to visit her parents. Months passed. Nothing. He said they’d attend their son’s graduation together. He went to watch football match that day. So, when he promised to pick her up from Abuja airport after her trip, she was cautiously hopeful. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ve set a reminder,” he assured her. But as she wheeled her luggage out at 7 p.m., there was no sign of him. No call. No message. Just silence. She waited. Tried his lines severally, to no avail. After an hour, she got a cab and went home. When she walked in, he said with a laugh, “Ah! Esther, I completely forgot. Something came up.” She smiled faintly, but inside, something broke. It wasn’t about the airport—it was everything else. One forgotten promise after another. Let’s be factual here👇 Trust erodes over time when words stop matching actions. It’s not just about one event—it’s the accumulation of disappointments that makes a partner feel unseen, unvalued, and emotionally unsafe. It is totally wrong to consistently break your promise to people (especially your partner) Simple guide on how to keep your promise: ✅ Don’t promise what you know will be impossible or hard for you to deliver. ✅ If your plans change or you sense you cannot meet up, communicate clearly and respectfully to your partner. ✅ Consistency over time is what builds real trust, so be consistent. Scripture puts it this way: “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘or Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’.” — Matthew 5:37 Your #relationshipcoach #marriagecounselor #lovebankers
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  • SHOULD YOU DO A COURT WEDDING? (PART 1)

    Dear Anonymous Brother,

    There are three recognized types of marriages in Nigeria:

    1. Statutory Marriage (or marriage Under the Act)
    • Conducted under the Marriage Act in a government-approved registry (not court) or church licensed for statutory weddings.
    (Some churches have government licenses to conduct this however, most churches don’t have license for this).

    2. Customary Marriage
    • Conducted according to the traditions and customs of the ethnic groups involved.
    • Typically includes the payment of bride price and traditional rites.

    3. Islamic Marriage
    • Performed according to Islamic (Sharia) law.
    • Requires a bride price (Sadaq) and a Nikah (marriage contract).

    I want to believe that the reason you’re having reservations about statutory wedding or marriage under the act (not court wedding as people call it) is because of the consequences and rigors of divorce.

    Most men are scared of statutory wedding because, in the case of divorce, properties are bound to be split, child custody laws may not favour them, and the consequence of polygamy (because the law prohibits that).

    If this is the case, I can boldly tell you that you’re entering marriage with the wrong mentality. You’re most likely going to end in divorce when conflict arises because you created room for it before entering the marriage. (Don’t forget that conflict must arise whether you like it or not).

    Note: Statutory weddings are not legally called court weddings. They are conducted in a marriage registry, a place of worship or any place of your choice by an authorized marriage registrar or licensed minister of a church.
    However, divorce can only take place in a high court or court with a higher jurisdiction.

    To be continued………

    #relationshipcoach
    #marriagecounselor
    #lovebankers
    SHOULD YOU DO A COURT WEDDING? (PART 1) Dear Anonymous Brother, There are three recognized types of marriages in Nigeria: 1. Statutory Marriage (or marriage Under the Act) • Conducted under the Marriage Act in a government-approved registry (not court) or church licensed for statutory weddings. (Some churches have government licenses to conduct this however, most churches don’t have license for this). 2. Customary Marriage • Conducted according to the traditions and customs of the ethnic groups involved. • Typically includes the payment of bride price and traditional rites. 3. Islamic Marriage • Performed according to Islamic (Sharia) law. • Requires a bride price (Sadaq) and a Nikah (marriage contract). I want to believe that the reason you’re having reservations about statutory wedding or marriage under the act (not court wedding as people call it) is because of the consequences and rigors of divorce. Most men are scared of statutory wedding because, in the case of divorce, properties are bound to be split, child custody laws may not favour them, and the consequence of polygamy (because the law prohibits that). If this is the case, I can boldly tell you that you’re entering marriage with the wrong mentality. You’re most likely going to end in divorce when conflict arises because you created room for it before entering the marriage. (Don’t forget that conflict must arise whether you like it or not). Note: Statutory weddings are not legally called court weddings. They are conducted in a marriage registry, a place of worship or any place of your choice by an authorized marriage registrar or licensed minister of a church. However, divorce can only take place in a high court or court with a higher jurisdiction. To be continued……… #relationshipcoach #marriagecounselor #lovebankers
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  • 7 WAYS TO BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (PART 1)

    The short story in between should teach you a lesson.

    Trust is the backbone of any strong relationship.

    It’s what makes love safe, secure, and long-lasting. But trust isn’t automatic—it is built through consistent actions, honesty, and reliability.

    Here are seven powerful ways to build trust in your relationship or marriage:

    1. BE HONEST, EVEN ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS

    Let me tell you a short story

    Chijioke and Ada had been married for three years when Chijioke suddenly started acting restless. He was distant, easily irritated, and always on his phone. Ada noticed but assumed it was work stress.

    One evening, a strange number called his phone while he was in the shower. Out of curiosity, Ada answered.

    “Mr. Chijioke, this is our final warning. Pay back the ₦2 million loan or face legal action.”

    Ada’s heart dropped. A loan? For ₦2 million? She had no idea her husband had borrowed money.

    When he came out, she confronted him. He sighed and said, “I didn’t want to stress you, so I didn’t tell you.”

    Ada felt betrayed. Not because of the debt, but because he had kept it a secret.

    That night, she lay awake thinking, “If he can hide this, what else is he hiding?”

    And that was the foundation of distrust she developed towards her husband. She started doubting most of the things he says

    Here’s the truth:

    Hiding the truth, even with good intentions, damages trust. Ada wasn’t upset about the loan itself—she was upset about the secrecy.

    When you are honest, even about small things, your partner feels safe and secure. When you start keeping secrets, doubt creeps in.

    How do you achieve this?

    Speak the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.
    If you make a mistake, own up to it instead of covering it up.
    Never assume small lies won’t matter—they always do in the long run.

    Biblical Wisdom: “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.” — Proverbs 12:22

    To be continued……..


    Your #relationshipcoach
    #marriagecounselor
    #lovebankers
    7 WAYS TO BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (PART 1) The short story in between should teach you a lesson. Trust is the backbone of any strong relationship. It’s what makes love safe, secure, and long-lasting. But trust isn’t automatic—it is built through consistent actions, honesty, and reliability. Here are seven powerful ways to build trust in your relationship or marriage: 1. BE HONEST, EVEN ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS Let me tell you a short story🤔 Chijioke and Ada had been married for three years when Chijioke suddenly started acting restless. He was distant, easily irritated, and always on his phone. Ada noticed but assumed it was work stress. One evening, a strange number called his phone while he was in the shower. Out of curiosity, Ada answered. “Mr. Chijioke, this is our final warning. Pay back the ₦2 million loan or face legal action.” Ada’s heart dropped. A loan? For ₦2 million? She had no idea her husband had borrowed money. When he came out, she confronted him. He sighed and said, “I didn’t want to stress you, so I didn’t tell you.” Ada felt betrayed. Not because of the debt, but because he had kept it a secret. That night, she lay awake thinking, “If he can hide this, what else is he hiding?” And that was the foundation of distrust she developed towards her husband. She started doubting most of the things he says☹️ Here’s the truth: Hiding the truth, even with good intentions, damages trust. Ada wasn’t upset about the loan itself—she was upset about the secrecy. When you are honest, even about small things, your partner feels safe and secure. When you start keeping secrets, doubt creeps in. How do you achieve this? ✅ Speak the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. ✅ If you make a mistake, own up to it instead of covering it up. ✅ Never assume small lies won’t matter—they always do in the long run. Biblical Wisdom: “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.” — Proverbs 12:22 To be continued……..🤩 Your #relationshipcoach #marriagecounselor #lovebankers
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  • Fine girl: Why must you show your bre*st to the world? Like whyyyy????

    Only dogs follow a food that is uncovered and left open to the public.

    Exposing them to the world explains that you have a low self esteem and you are opening it to gain approval, acceptance and the desire to be loved.

    I tell you: a Godly, futuristic and responsible man will not fall for that gimmicks.

    You will only attract men who are sex mongers and irresponsible.

    Their useless comments and hypes will tell you what exactly they’re after.

    Your bre*st is part of your private organs. Please keep it private and stop disgracing your family.

    Your #relationshipcoach
    #marriagecounselor
    #lovebanker
    Fine girl: Why must you show your bre*st to the world? Like whyyyy???? Only dogs follow a food that is uncovered and left open to the public. Exposing them to the world explains that you have a low self esteem and you are opening it to gain approval, acceptance and the desire to be loved. I tell you: a Godly, futuristic and responsible man will not fall for that gimmicks. You will only attract men who are sex mongers and irresponsible. Their useless comments and hypes will tell you what exactly they’re after. Your bre*st is part of your private organs. Please keep it private and stop disgracing your family. Your #relationshipcoach #marriagecounselor #lovebanker
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