The got me laughing 🤣

Signs She’s NOT Into You (Might Hurt Your Feelings) 1. She doesn’t text you back (or takes forever to reply). Women are glued to their phones. If she’s into you, she’ll be excited to text back fast. If she takes hours or days to reply, or leaves you on read, it’s a clear sign you’re low priority. No woman "forgets" to text a man she desires. She’s just choosing not to. 2. She avoids being alone with you. If she always wants to “meet you there” instead of getting picked up… If she only hangs out in group settings… If she never wants to come over to your place or invite you to hers… She’s making sure there’s no chance of intimacy. That means she’s not attracted to you. 3. She doesn’t ask you personal questions. A woman who’s into you will be curious about you. She’ll want to know about your life, your passions, your goals. If she never asks anything beyond surface-level topics, you’re just background noise to her. Indifference = disinterest. 4. She brings up her bad qualities. When a woman likes you, she puts her best foot forward. But when she isn’t interested, she’ll sabotage herself on purpose by saying things like: “I’m really bad at relationships.” “I’m kind of crazy.” “I don’t think I’d be good for you. 5. She doesn’t engage in the conversation. If a woman likes you, she’ll be dialed into the conversation, smiling, reacting, laughing. If she’s giving short answers, not following up, or looking at her phone while you talk… She’s mentally checked out. And when a woman’s mind isn’t on you, neither is her heart. 6. She is "always busy." A woman will move mountains to see a man she wants. If she keeps saying: “I’m super busy right now.” “Maybe next week.” “I’ll let you know.” She’s making excuses to avoid you. Busy women still make time for the men they crave. 7. She doesn’t give you her full attention. When a woman truly desires you, Her eyes are on you. She laughs at your jokes. She wants to know everything about you. If she seems distracted, looking around the room, or more focused on her phone… She’s counting down the minutes until she can leave. 8. She flirts with other men in front of you. This is the ultimate act of disrespect. If she’s giggling, touching, or engaging other guys while you’re right there, she doesn’t see you as an option. A woman who respects and desires you will NOT flaunt her interest in other men. 9. She never initiates touch or flirts back. A woman’s body language exposes her true feelings. If she’s into you: She’ll find ways to touch you. She’ll lean in when you talk. She’ll giggle and playfully push you away. 10. You’re the only one putting in effort. Who texts first? Who makes plans? Who keeps the conversation going? If it’s always YOU and she’s just coasting along… She’s not that into you. High-interest women don’t let the man do 100% of the work. ➥𝐼𝑓 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑡 & 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒⇅

7 THINGS THAT CAN MAKE YOU BROKE FASTER THAN VILLAGE PEOPLE 😂😂 Forget jazz, forget enemies from the village—some of you are going broke at lightning speed, and it’s not because of witchcraft. Your own lifestyle is the real problem! If you're always wondering "Who is eating my money?"—relax, Oga. The answer is you. BRUTAL THREAD: 1. CHASING EVERY WOMAN YOU SEE You think you're James Bond, moving from one fine girl to another, sponsoring their hair, nails, and data? Brother, you are your own Yahoo boy. 🤣 One babe says “I need urgent 2K”—you send. Another one says “My rent is due”—you pay. Next thing, your account balance is calling for GoFundMe. Meanwhile, the same girls are in group chats laughing at you: “This guy dey try sha.” Solution: Stop being an ATM with no PIN code. Focus on one woman or yourself first. 2. LIVING LIKE A BIG BOY WHEN YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE IS SHOUTING HELP Your salary is 50K, but you're in clubs ordering Hennessy like Davido. You don’t even have a car, but you're buying drinks for strangers—WHO SENT YOU? 😭 Rich men are saving, you are spraying money. Dangote is investing, you are doing “Odogwu” at the bar. Elon Musk is buying companies, you are buying bottles for slay queens who don’t know your surname. When the landlord comes for rent, you’ll start saying “Boss, abeg, things hard.” Solution: Cut down on fake luxury. Even Jeff Bezos wears simple T-shirts. Be wise. 3. SENDING MONEY TO FAMILY LIKE CBN Your uncle calls: “We need money for burial.” Your aunt calls: “No food in the house.” Your younger brother: “School fees.” Now your account is empty, but when you need help? Nobody picks your call. Oga, you are not the Minister of Finance. Even government doesn’t share free money like you do! Solution: Learn to say NO sometimes! Help when you can, but don’t let family turn you into their personal budget. 4. ALWAYS BUYING THE LATEST PHONE TO IMPRESS WHO? Last month, you were using iPhone 12. This month, you saw iPhone 15 Pro Max and sold your kidney to buy it. Next month, iPhone 16 Ultra Mega Max will drop—what will you sell next? Your destiny? 😭 Meanwhile, the person you’re trying to impress is using Tecno Pop 5 and doesn’t care. Solution: If your current phone is working, rest. Your future is more important than “Dynamic Island.” 5. FALLING FOR EVERY FAKE INVESTMENT SCHEME They told you "Invest 50K, get 500K in 2 days." You ran like Bolt, deposited your money. Now, they’ve blocked you, and you’re writing epistles on Facebook: “Dear Nigerians, beware of fraudsters!” 🤣 Oga, they didn’t scam you, you scammed yourself! Any investment that sounds like magic money is a Ponzi scheme in disguise. Solution: If you don’t understand the business, don’t put your money there. Learn to invest wisely! 6. GOING BROKE JUST TO IMPRESS SOCIAL MEDIA Your house rent is due, but you're buying designer shoes to take pictures for Instagram. Who told you “likes and comments” can pay rent? You posted “Soft life only.” But in real life, you’re trekking and borrowing money for food. If your phone falls, you’ll cry because you can’t afford to fix it. 😭 Solution: Stop forming fake rich life. Invest first, flex later. 7. BEING TOO LAZY TO MAKE MORE MONEY You sit at home, scrolling Facebook from morning till night, complaining: “No job, Nigeria is hard.” Meanwhile, opportunities are passing you by! Are you expecting an angel to drop money from the sky? People are making money online—you are watching TikTok videos all day. People are learning skills—you are arguing about football. People are opening businesses—you are waiting for your rich uncle to die so you can inherit land. 🤣 Solution: Get up and hustle! Even the Bible says “A lazy man shall not eat.” BOTTOM LINE: If you're always broke, stop blaming village people. Your habits are the real witchcraft! Live within your means. Invest before you flex. Stop impressing people who don’t care. Make smart financial decisions. If this post hit you hard, don’t cry. Just change your ways! 😂😂😂 Follow Abasiodu Ekpenyong for more brutal truths that will save your life!

The first night I saw my best friend with my husband, I did what they never imagined... They were both in the bedroom... . MY BEST FRIEND STOLE MY MAN CHAPTER 1 If somebody had told me that the person who would destroy my life was the same person I used to share my clothes and secrets with, I would have laughed in their face. But now, the only thing I laugh at is my own stupidity. My name is Amaka, and my wedding was in two weeks. I had the man. I had the ring. I had the aso-ebi colors picked out. I had my best friend by my side — or so I thought. It was a hot Wednesday morning in Enugu. I remember clearly because NEPA had just brought light and I was dancing in my towel, holding my phone and playing “Baby Riddim” by Fave. My cheeks were hurting from smiling too much. Obinna, my fiancé, had just sent me money for my gele and shoes. “Nne, I want you to look like a goddess that day,” he said. “The whole world must know you’re mine.” God knows I loved that man. Chiamaka, my best friend since secondary school, was sitting on the bed, scrolling through her phone and laughing at a meme. “See this one,” she said, turning the phone to show me a picture of a bride whose makeup looked like she fought with a clown. I laughed. “Chia, that can never be me. My makeup artist is charging sixty thousand.” “Ehen? So now you’re a big girl, eh?” she teased, throwing a pillow at me. We laughed like that for minutes. Two friends. Two sisters. Or so I thought. I didn’t know she was laughing because she already knew something I didn’t. That morning, Obinna called. His voice was deep and warm. “Have you eaten?” “No,” I smiled. “Waiting for you to bring me food.” Chiamaka raised her eyebrow and whispered, “Tell him to bring for both of us o!” Obinna chuckled over the phone. “Alright. I’m coming with your favorite — nkwobi and cold malt.” When the call ended, Chiamaka looked at me with a sly smile. “You’re lucky o. This your Obinna, he’s sweet die.” I nodded. “He is.” She stood up. “Let me go bath. I want to look fine before he comes. You know your man likes seeing fine girls.” We laughed again. But in that laugh, something shifted. I didn’t catch it then. But now, thinking back, I see it clearly. The way she looked at me. The way she said “your man.” There was something in her eyes that wasn’t there before. That evening, when Obinna came, I noticed he didn’t hug me the way he used to. It was quick. Cold. His eyes darted around like he was hiding something. He handed me the nylon bag. “Your food.” “Thanks baby,” I smiled, trying to hold his hand. He pulled it away too fast. Chiamaka came out wearing a short gown that hugged her in all the wrong places. Her makeup was too much for a simple evening, but she walked like she was on a runway. Obinna’s eyes followed her for a second too long. I noticed. I pretended not to. We all sat in the parlor and watched a movie. But Obinna laughed at jokes that weren’t funny. He barely looked at me. When Chiamaka stood to go get water, his eyes followed her again. My heart skipped. Something wasn’t right. That night, I couldn’t sleep. I lay on the bed while Chiamaka snored beside me. I stared at the ceiling and asked myself one question: “What if love is not enough?” To be continued…. Oluchi Onyeaghala

*LESSON OF THE DAY* *WHO IS THE BOSS?* The organs of the human body gathered to discuss who is the boss?. The heart said: *it's me because I circulate blood.* The brain said: *No, it's me, because I control everything.* The liver said: *No, it's me, because I nourish the body.* The lungs said: *It's us because we manage breathing.* And the anus started laughing and said: *You're all nonsense. I'm the boss.* *EVERYONE LAUGHED AT HIM.* Then the anus decided to shut down for 7 days.. *The brain went crazy.* *The liver started swelling..* *The heart began failing,* *The lungs went into distress* Then everyone came to apologize to the anus, begging it to open up again... MORAL.. *WE COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER IN LIFE, LET'S NOT UNDERESTIMATE OR NEGLECT ANYONE..* With this message, I remind all members that we need each other. No one is more precious than the others... Don't neglect any member, neither in society nor in life, because no one is useless. *LET'S LOVE EACH OTHER! ❤️* *HAPPY BIAFRA DAY*

I saw this photograph I can't stop laughing...

*HOME ALONE* UNDER 🔞 KEEP OFF Episode 12 They both walk to us, Rose coming to me and Ruth moving over to Samuel. I held Rose close to myself and gave her a deep kiss. This is my first time of having a group s£x and oh yea, my adrenaline rush is high. Samuel not wanting to take last decided to step up a bit as he removed the top of Ruth and she was clad in her bra and short skirt. Without wasting time, he removed the bra and her small b00bs were free from their prison. Well, since this is gradually turning into a competition, I also removed the shirt and bra of Rose and started sucking her little b00bs. One thing about the twins is that their b00bs are pointed though little. Rose: yeah baby..yeah yeah yeah. Ruth: wuu ooh ahhh. She m0aned and I laughed. This is the first time I will hear her m0an and it sounds funny. I switched b00bs and Samuel did same. Looking at each other with the corner of our eyes, we súçked on the b00bs so hard that they slapped us hard. I kissed my way down her stomach and removed her skirt, she was clad in a white pant. I looked at Samuel and he had removed her skirt too, both wearing white panties. Now time to score the hat trick, without warning, I attacked her pússy with my mouth. Rose: ohhh my gawdddd!!!! She shouted and gave out her first o—-m. Samuel: dàrn, you just…you just….disgusting. Me: maybe that’s what you think. I said and began to eat her pússy again while Samuel watched in surprise. I paused and looked at Ruth and she threw her face away in jealousy. I made sure I took my time in licking her libias before taking in her clit and again, I was blessed with another wave of org@sm. Rose: oh..oh…. Idris I love you you. She breathed down and stood up. Rose: common Samuel, eat her pússy. Me: yeah do it. Samuel: I… I can’t. Ruth sighed, obviously she was in need of a head. Rose: dàrn Ruth, you are missing it big time. Ruth: *disappointed* I know but he will never do it. Me: lemme help. I said and her eyes shone happily. Rose gave the go ahead signal and I walked up to Ruth. Me: just close your eyes and enjoy. I said and she did close her eyes. Then my magic tongue came and she gasped. I licked her slit, took the libias one by one from the left to the right and back to the left. Ruth: gawdddd… There’s no….no…nothing like this, so…so…sweet. She m0aned out loud and I stopped. Me: if you continue that, the neighbours will be here in no time. Ruth: sorry!!! She said and before I could say Jack, my head was buried deep into her p—y and her legs crossed over my head (submission style). If I am not careful, then I will definitely pass away soon. Breathing is even a problem, I was just breathing in her sweet pússy scent. Without wasting any time, I took her little clit in my mouth and pinched her n!poles with both hands. Ruth: I…dris…I…dris… I…I…I…dris… you you have arghhhh!!!! She shouted again as another wave of org@sm hit her and she released me. I started breathing hard and she was doing same. Ruth: *recovering from her org@sm* wait samuel, you definitely need to be giving me a head. So you have been cheating on me all these while? She asked in a serious tone. Samuel: how? Ruth; don’t gimme that crap. I will suck your díçk but you don’t return the favor. She said in an angry tone while me and Rose were laughing. Samuel agreed to be giving her a head and we all moved to the next stage. Me and Sam but removed our cloth and this is the first time I will be seeing him n@ked. We are almost similar in structure both in abs too but the BEAST was far bigger than his. Ruth: jeezzz, Rose don’t tell me you have been taking…taking…that monster c–k and you’re still fine. Rose: *sighed* you have seen things for yourself. The beast is filled with pleasure and and painsss. She said and I grinned wickedly. . My friend Sam was dumpfounded as he couldn’t speak. Sam: no wonder most of the girls in school are all taking about you, you are beast menn.. He said and I smiled. His own díçk is big, long and meaty but mine is another case entirely. Ruth: don’t keep me waiting, come and stick your díçk in here. She said to Sam pointing at her vagina. Samuel walked up to her, lay her on the floor and with one stroke, his díçk was inside her and he started fúçking her slowly and passionately. Ruth: oh my… Yes… Just like that, I loveee it. She m0aned out and he continued fúçking her deep but slower. I moved to my awaiting Rose and placed her on the floor also without wasting time, I thrusted deep into her. Rose: ouchh…. Ummmm.. Ohhr… I pushed harder and half of my díçk was inside her now. Still not satisfied, I pushed even harder till I hit her rock bottom, the last place my díçk can ever reach and now, she have almost taken everything inside of her. Rose: arghhh….. I… I…. I… Am full. Don’t dare move an inch, don’t dare even move an inch. She m0aned and came again. I withdrew my díçk and thrusted into her again. She was so tight that my Beast was literally tearing her pússy into two. I could feel her raw flesh, tearing wider and wider to accommodate my beast. Rose: my gawddddd…… I am damned ooo, ouch… Ouchh ouchh, idris ooooo!!! I looked at Sam and he was still busy, Rose was closing her eyes as wave and wave of orgasmic bliss hit her. I gave him a nod and he understood. We turned them and made them stoop on all fours. Rose was directly facing Ruth as I entered her from behind while Samuel entered Ruth from behind too. Ruth: argh, fúçk me Sam.. Fúçk me harder I love you!!!!! She m0aned as Samuel hit her hard from behind. With one hard stroke, I hit Rose rock bottom with pressure and she jolted. Not knowing what to do, she held her sister and gave her a deep kiss as I rammed her from behind. The sight of the two sisters kissing each other was so d@rn hot and I could feel my org@sm build up. Samuel: Agg… Argh… Oh yeahhhh. Ahm He m0aned as he emptied his load inside Ruth. I couldn’t hold it anymore, I pushed my díçk so hard into Rose that she screamed in pains and I began to pour in inside of her. Me: yeahhhh….. Oh yeahhhhhhhh….. I m0aned endlessly. We all laid on the floor. Me and Samuel’s d!cks were limp, Ruth breathing hard and Rose’s legs spread wide apart to allow air in. Ruth: holy sh.it!!!!!!!! She screamed at the sight of her sister’s p—y which was now very wide but closing rapidly. Ruth: d@rn you Idris. You are destroying my sister’s pússy. Just look at the size of that thing for goodness sake. Rose: am just tired, I can’t even feel my legs. It’s like he was forcing his way all up to my womb. Me: oh, so sorry about that. Ruth: what’s the time? Me: few minutes to seven. I said after checking my phone. Ruth: our telenovela will soon start, got to go. Samuel: you and this your silly telenovela enh. Ruth was already standing up, she wore her cloth but Rose couldn’t stand. Her sister helped her up and also helped her with dressing up. Ruth: next time, you fúçk her slowly, now I know the reason why she comes home limping sometimes. Me: hi hi captain, will fúçk her slowly next time. Ruth: very good. She said and went out with her sister who just kept quiet. Me and Samuel stood up and wore our cloth before we sat down to watch cartoon this time around. Sam: dárn, ur díçk big o. Me: yours is big too. Sam: no, you get monster cóck. No wonder. Me: no wonder w€tin? Samuel: nothing, I don dey go. He said and we both shook hands before he ran out. Wow, today’s group bang was amazing. Day 1 being home alone. TO BE CONTINUED PLEASE LIKE,COMMENT AND SHARE #everyonehighlightsfollowers #highlight

A man and his wife never føught for 25 years of their marriage. A friend asked him how he had managed to make it possible. He narrated: "We went for our Høneymoon in Australia 25 years ago and while riding on a horse, My wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down. She got up, patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time" After a while it happened again. #Laughingboi She patted the horse again and said: "This is your second time" The horse did it again the 3rd time, she brought out a gūn and shøt the horse dēad. I was so shocked and shouted at her. . . . . . . ."Are you crāzy! What's wrong with you? Why did you kīll the horse?" She smiled at me and said "This is your first time" Since then. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My Mouth Pim.🤐😂 __________ Kindly follow 👉 LauLaughing boii.A man and his wife never føught for 25 years of their marriage. A friend asked him how he had managed to make it possible. He narrated: "We went for our Høneymoon in Australia 25 years ago and while riding on a horse, My wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down. She got up, patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time" After a while it happened again. #Laughingboi She patted the horse again and said: "This is your second time" The horse did it again the 3rd time, she brought out a gūn and shøt the horse dēad. I was so shocked and shouted at her. . . . . . . ."Are you crāzy! What's wrong with you? Why did you kīll the horse?" She smiled at me and said "This is your first time" Since then. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My Mouth Pim.🤐😂 __________ Kindly follow 👉 LauLaughing boii.

‘One morning, I woke up to find my neighbor's children drinking garri with salt in the compound. They saw me and greeted me. "Uncle good morning." The last born shouted. "Uncle come and eat." Playfully I walked to them. "What are you eating?" "Gmax." The firstborn replied. The rest of the children laughed. "You mean Garri?" "Uncle this is not garri, it is GMax. A kind of snack." I chuckled. I told them to bring me a spoon let me join them. They raised their head and looked at me. They were shocked. The second born touched the last born and said. "Go and bring spoon for Uncle. Uncle wants to eat GMax snacks." The boy ran in and returned with a spoon. As I took a spoon, that was when I realized the Garri was not with Sugar but with salt. The children started laughing. I paused for a while and swallowed. "Uncle, so you use to eat GMax snacks too." The last born asked. I nodded my head. I told him I am a professional in Gmax garri. Their mother who heard the laughter came out of the room and saw me. She was smiling. "Uncle, you seff dey drink garri." I told her I decided to join my younger brothers to eat. She smiled. "Eya. Today wey we no get better food to cook except garri, na that time you come chop." I chuckled. "Madam, God know say na my favourite food na im make he make me see am to chop today." The last born laughed. "Uncle like Gmax o." I told her that after eating, I and my younger brothers(her children) would go out and buy noodles for breakfast. She laughed. The boys were excited. They began to rush the garri so it would finish quickly. When we were done drinking Garri, I took the boys out and I bought a carton of noodles for them. When the mother saw her children carrying a carton into the house, she became emotional. She said to me. "Uncle, this is the first time I will have anything in a carton in my house. See how God take bless her children." I handed her money that would be enough to cook two pots of soup for the week. The first child held my hands and said. "Uncle, Thank you." He beckoned on the brothers to come say thank you. The last child ran and embraced me. Then he said. "Uncle... Uncle... In the afternoon you will come and eat GMax with us again ba. We would put sugar inside for you." I tried hard to hold back my tears. Before you look down on that meal God has provided you to eat, remember that there are people who do not have up to that standard. Be grateful and contented.’ #viralpost @Praises chidera obiora community Credit:: Author Praises Chidera Obiora Stories

*LESSON OF THE DAY* *WHO IS THE BOSS?* The organs of the human body gathered to discuss who is the boss?. The heart said: *it's me because I circulate blood.* The brain said: *No, it's me, because I control everything.* The liver said: *No, it's me, because I nourish the body.* The lungs said: *It's us because we manage breathing.* And the anus started laughing and said: *You're all nonsense. I'm the boss.* *EVERYONE LAUGHED AT HIM.* Then the anus decided to shut down for 7 days.. *The brain went crazy.* *The liver started swelling..* *The heart began failing,* *The lungs went into distress* Then everyone came to apologize to the anus, begging it to open up again... MORAL.. *WE COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER IN LIFE, LET'S NOT UNDERESTIMATE OR NEGLECT ANYONE..* With this message, I remind all members that we need each other. No one is more precious than the others... Don't neglect any member, neither in society nor in life, because no one is useless. *LET'S LOVE EACH OTHER! ❤️*

1. Talk about business instead of gossips 2. Talk about helping the vulnerable instead of mocking 3. Talk about peace instead of instigating 4. Talk about growth instead of people’s failures 5. Talk about ideas instead of people’s secrets 6. Talk about forgiveness instead of revenge 7. Talk about plans instead of people’s mistakes 8. Talk about kindness instead of hate 9. Talk about purpose instead of distractions 10. Talk about impact instead of insults 11. Talk about reading instead of rumors 12. Talk about patience instead of pressure 13. Talk about responsibility instead of blame 14. Talk about unity instead of division 15. Talk about change instead of complaints 16. Talk about discipline instead of disorder 17. Talk about progress instead of problems 18. Talk about creativity instead of criticism 19. Talk about calm instead of chaos 20. Talk about learning instead of laughing at others 21. Talk about truth instead of twisting stories 22. Talk about love instead of judgment 23. Talk about solutions instead of spreading fear 24. Talk about gratitude instead of grumbling 25. Talk about humility instead of pride 26. Talk about health instead of people’s bodies 27. Talk about goals instead of gossip 28. Talk about support instead of sarcasm 29. Talk about prayers instead of plotting 30. Talk about lifting others instead of looking down on them What we choose to talk about shapes our environment and reveals our values. Fill your words with things that build, heal, and uplift. Replace mockery with encouragement, and let your conversations become a source of light in dark places. Be known for spreading peace, not drama.

My Gada.Chat🎈🎊🌹🌸 At first, they will laugh at you. They will call you crazy, mock your dreams, and act like you’re wasting your time. They’ll whisper behind your back, saying, Some will shake their heads in pity. Others will remind you of people who tried and failed, just to plant doubt in your mind. But here’s the truth: every great man was once laughed at. Stay focused. Keep building in silence. While they waste their energy talking, you keep working. Because one day, they will stop laughing. One day, those same people will come back—not to mock you, but to ask for advice. “Bro/Sis, how did you do it?” “Omo, put me on na.” “I knew you’d make it, man!” Funny how life works, right? The same people who doubted you will suddenly act like they were your biggest supporters. The ones who ignored you will start calling you “Boss.” By then, you won’t even be the same man anymore. You’ll have leveled up—mentally, financially, spiritually. Their opinions will mean nothing. Because you would have built something real, someth