One of the biggest mistakes I made in my marriage was allowing third parties, especially in-laws, to have too much say. What started as simple advice slowly turned into interference. I was constantly being compared, judged, and indirectly controlled. My husband couldn’t draw the line between family and marriage, and I was left feeling like an outsider in my own home.

Arguments that should have ended within the four walls of our bedroom became family matters. Every disagreement had to be reported, every decision had to be debated with others, and gradually, the love we once had turned into constant tension. Eventually, the marriage broke beyond repair. It wasn't just our personal issues; it was the voices we allowed into our sacred space.

Ladies, please, know how to handle third-party situations. Set boundaries early. Respect your spouse and demand the same. Keep your home sacred. Marriage is between two people, not a whole village. Don’t let outsiders ruin what you’re building with someone you love.

- Annie Idibia

Good morning, Gada.Chat Members!

Today is a new day, a fresh start, and an opportunity to make a difference.
Let's draw inspiration from our collective strength, resilience, and passion for creating positive change.

As we navigate our individual journeys, remember that every small act of kindness, every generous gesture, and every selfless act has the power to impact lives and shape the world around us.

To our seasoned members, your dedication and leadership are the driving force behind our community's success.
Your stories, experiences, and wisdom inspire us all to strive for more.

To our new members, welcome! We're thrilled to have you join our community of Gada.Chat, which we help each other attend success.
Your unique perspectives and talents will enrich our collective efforts.

Let's continue to uplift, support, and empower one another. Let's celebrate our achievements, learn from our setbacks, and keep pushing boundaries.

Together, we can achieve greatness, create lasting impact, and leave a legacy of love, kindness, and compassion.

Have an amazing day, Members of GADA.CHAT!

Warm Regards!
Elder ERASMUS IBOM

Let me be honest with you, some girls today don’t care if a man is married or not. Once they see comfort, money, or status, they’re ready to jump in and break a home. I’ve been there. I saw it with my own eyes, how a so-called “friend” kept circling around my husband, pretending to be just a family friend, until I caught on.

That was the wake-up call. I stood my ground, I fought for my man, and I drew clear boundaries. Marriage is not a joke. The moment you relax, someone out there is already setting traps.

I’m not saying nag or cry every day, I’m saying be present. Be wise, pray and Communicate. And if necessary, confront. Don’t be timid about protecting what is yours. Because if you don’t, someone else will act bold, and they might just win.

- Omotola Jalade Ekeinde

Do not carry secondary school mentality into university, it won’t help you, it will disgrace you.

Secondary school and university are two different worlds. In secondary school, you're spoon-fed. You're reminded to do your assignments.

You’re threatened with punishment just to study. You have teachers monitoring your every move. But once you enter university, especially a Nigerian university, it becomes survival of the fittest. Nobody will chase you. If you don’t adjust fast, you’ll be lost before you even realise it.

Here are 10 habits you must drop before entering university if you truly want to survive and succeed:

1. Waiting for someone to remind you to read: In secondary school, your teachers push you. But in university, no one will beg you to pick up your books. In fact, some lecturers won’t even take attendance. If you don’t take responsibility, you’ll wake up one day and see an “E” staring at you after exams.

2. Studying only during exam period: That cramming style you used to pass WAEC and NECO will betray you in uni. If you don’t build the habit of consistent reading early, you’ll break down mentally when tests start flying unannounced.

3. Underestimating the importance of planning: In secondary school, your day is structured. In university, you create your own timetable. If you don't learn how to plan your time, you’ll find yourself skipping lectures, missing deadlines, and rushing through everything last minute.

4. Depending on others to survive academically: In secondary school, you can whisper during exams or ‘combine brain’ during group assignments. In university, it’s every man for himself. Even your “bestie” will leave you stranded when it’s time to hustle for grades.

5. Avoiding responsibility: You can't keep living like a child. In university, maturity is key. From handling stress, to managing money, to resolving roommate wahala, you'll need to take responsibility without running to mummy or daddy for every small thing.

6. Believing you must be told what to do: Nobody will tell you when to start looking for scholarships, apply for internships, or join productive clubs. If you’re waiting to be told, you'll miss out on opportunities that could shape your future.

7. Copying your classmates blindly: In secondary school, if one person picks science, the whole class follows. In university, copying someone’s course choice or life path is a recipe for disaster. Know yourself and stay true to your journey.

8. Sleeping on personal development: Back then, you might think “book” is everything. In university, “book” is just part of the equation. Soft skills, digital skills, networking, and exposure are what give students an edge. If you’re only chasing grades, you’re already behind.

9. Wasting free time on nothing: In secondary school, your free time is limited. In uni, you’ll have stretches of free time, and that’s where most people mess up. Netflix, social media, and gist will swallow your time if you don’t set boundaries.

10. Thinking you have to please everyone: You’re not going to university to be liked. You’re going to build your life. Stop trying to impress everyone. Focus on your growth, your goals, and your peace.

University is not secondary school with freedom. It’s life on another level. Drop these habits now before they drop you later.

If you're still in secondary school, read this twice. If you’re already in uni, did I lie?

Joshua King

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, IS IT REALLY A THING?

I know this is one topic many avoid, but it’s one we need to talk about.
Sex before marriage is becoming so common that it’s now seen as “normal.” Some even believe it’s how you prove love. But just because something is common doesn’t make it right.

Let me ask you:
Have you ever stopped to think about what sex really does?

It’s not just about the body. It connects your soul, your emotions, your heart. That’s why after sleeping with someone, it’s hard to just walk away.

Something deeper has been exchanged.
When you give your body before giving your commitment, things get complicated. Feelings get mixed. Expectations rise. Trust can break easily. And sometimes, heartbreak becomes the result.

Now, I’m not here to judge you. We all have a past, we've all made mistakes. But I’m here to remind you that waiting is not foolish. It’s wisdom. It’s protection. It’s saying, “I value you and I value us, enough to build a strong foundation first.”

If you’ve already had sex, listen, God is not done with you. You’re not damaged. You can start again. You can choose a fresh path. Purity is not about a perfect past; it’s about a decision you make today.

Love that waits are love that honors.
Love that respects boundaries are love that lasts.
You don’t need sex to prove love.

The right person will wait, and work on building a future with you, not using your body before making a commitment to your soul.

So yes, sex before marriage is really a thing. But you have a choice. A wise one.

Let’s build love the right way. Let’s do it God’s way. Let’s protect our hearts.

*4 MISTAKES TO AVOID IN A RELATIONSHIP.*



1) HAVING NO EXPECTATIONS

Know what you want from a relationship, you can't afford to marry just anyone.

How would you know if you're marrying the wrong person or the right person if you have no expectations?

But be realistic with your expectations (that's the balance)

2) SETTING NO BOUNDARIES

The person you are with should know there are boundaries not to cross.

They should know it's not okay for them to hit you for example, or talk down on you.

Remember, anything you ACCEPT in courtship, you should be ready to ACCOMODATE in Marriage.

Know when to walk away to avoid "Admin, hide my identity" tomorrow

3) PRETENSE

You have strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, a not so perfect family or past, . You're Human, it's allowed.

To pretend to be a Person without any weaknesses is you wanting to display strengths you DO NOT have. You can't do this forever.

To lie about your past, or personality (dislikes and likes) just to please your partner is a big mistake, remember, it's difficult keeping up with lies and falsehood.

If you're not happy, talk..

If you don't have, let him/her know.

Don't start what you can not finish

4) SEX.

Sex complicates issues

It can create a mess out of things overnight and makes ending an unhealthy relationship difficult

Sex exposes you to dangers like unwanted pregnancy, becoming a single parent, paternity fraud, blackmail, infection, guilt, fear, shame, abortion, etc

Ladies especially lose the most once sex is involved in a Relationship.

Don't do the do till you say I DO

If others could, you too can avoid these mistakes,

*Stand on boundaries even if it gets lonely. Don't let anyone get the idea that dey can just fvk you over whenever dey like*🥹

WHAT IS THE WAY TO IMPROVE LIFE?

1).Don’t compare yourself. Everyone has got their own story to tell and so do you.

2).Reading writing, and staying happy with yourself.

3).Establishing boundaries when you need to.

4).Staying positive about what life has got to offer you.

5).Trying out new things every month or so.

6).Keeping up with your health.

7).Not falling victim to bitterness, hate or other negative emotions.

8).Finding peace.
Learning to “just keep swimming” no matter the weather.

9).Accepting people for who and what they are. Accepting yourself.

10).Learning something new every day even if its teeny tiny.

11).“Be a friend to get a friend”

12).Keeping your home clean.

13).Whether your surround yourself with many people or none is up to you.

14).Do what makes you feel good about your life.

15).Don’t follow protocol but do stay disciplined.

16).Last but not least, stand up for yourself. Don’t let people’s opinions rule over your life.
Good morning!!
Cheers!!!

Signs of a toxic relationship
1. You are not free around that person
2. Munhu asinga respector your boundaries
3. Munhu anoda kuita competition newe instead of supporting
4. Munhu asinga kumbiri ruregerero Ari wrong kusatobvuma kuti ndini ndiri wrong
5. Silent treatment kuishandisa as way of punishing you hutori hutokuziki ihwohwo munhu communicate
6. You're scared to express your feelings to them


Siyai zvemarelationships zvekufenda zvamunazvo izvi

My First Time (Episode 1)

It was just... my first time.

You see, growing up,
I built fences around my longings.
Barbed wires of scripture.
Walls of willpower.

Yes, I built my world on rules.
Not the ones written by men,
But the kind you etch in your spirit...
When you're desperate to stay pure in a defiled world.

I made promises to God...
With trembling lips and innocent hands.
Whispers at altars.
Tears during youth vigils.
I will stay virgin.
“No touching.”
“No tasting.”
Not even a kiss...
Until I say “I do.”

Chastity wasn’t just a principle.
It was identity.
It made me feel holy.
Set apart.
Safe.

I guarded it with fear,
Polished it with pride,
Wore it like a spiritual medal on my chest.

At first, it was easy.
Temptation was a rumour from afar.
I didn’t know I was bragging,
From the comfort of distance,
Until life dragged me closer...

Closer to the edge.
Closer to my first time.
So close, I slipped...
Into a moment that almost stained
everything I ever stood for.

And guess where it started?
Church.
Yes, church.
The holy ground.
Where fire falls,
And temptation hides in skirts.

I met her in the Lord’s house.
A sister dripping grace and beauty.
Golden.
Glowing.
Spirit-filled.
Fire-filled.
The kind of girl that makes angels blush,
And brothers lose their train of prayer.

You know those sisters...
That carry the Word like perfume?
The ones whose laughter feels like revival?

That was her.
Elegant.
Confident.
Convicted.
When she walked,
Even ushers paused...
Just to feel her presence again.

The first time I saw her,
My chest skipped.
But she didn’t see me.
Of course she didn’t.
I was just one humble brother in Christ.
So I did what humble brothers do.

I behaved.
Dodged eye contact.
Buried desire in devotion.
Tried to crucify my feelings like they were demons.

Every day, I looked away,
Praying she wouldn’t notice...
The war already starting in my soul.

Then Media Unit happened.
God called me... indirectly.
A leader pointed at me.
“You, join Media.”
I didn’t argue...
Who argues with destiny?

Guess who was already in Media?
Her.
Yes. Her.

We were teammates now.
Ministers.
Co-labourers in the vineyard.
Writing scripts.
Designing flyers.
Fighting battles I didn’t know existed.

Then that day...
That tiny moment that changed everything;
They asked, “Who here can write very well?”

I raised my hand.
And that was the beginning.
They gave me bulletins.
Flyers.
Devotionals.
And I was just writing.

Then, from behind me,
Came the voice I had only heard in daydreams:
“Oh! So you can write this well?”

I smiled... small.
Very small.
Calculated.
Not too wide.
Because any wider, would expose the war...
Already going on in my chest.

From that day, we started talking.
Nothing serious.
Just… holy conversations.
Holy laughter.
Holy friendship.

But there was a way she looked at me.
Or maybe the way I looked at her.
Whatever it was,
Emotions began rising like praise and worship
...on a revival night.

But we were just two fire-filled believers,
Caught in the web of silent attraction.
Too spiritual to confess.
Too emotional to ignore.

So, we bottled it.
Suppressed it.
Every glance.
Every brush of hand.
Every awkward silence that felt too loud.

Until…
That evening.

We had a design to finish;
Flyer for Sunday’s service.
The plan?
Meet in church.
Safe ground.

But she said,
“Your house is closer to me than church.
Let me just come there.”

My heart blinked.
My spirit cleared its throat.
Something whispered,
“Oga... be guided.”

But I brushed it off.
Because I had convinced myself...
I was stronger than I actually was.
I had recited enough memory verses
to believe temptation couldn’t find me.

Besides, I had vows.
I had standards.
I had said no so many times in my mind
that I thought it would be automatic.

I even muttered “In Jesus Name”
To make my foolishness sound holy.

She came.
Fifteen minutes early.
Because real sisters don’t keep time,
They beat it.

I served her water,
Like a good host.
We opened the laptop.
Opened Photoshop.
Started designing.

Everything was set.
Except our boundaries.

But that’s where I’ll stop...
Because what happened next, ehn...

...wait for Episode 2.

*SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, IS IT REALLY A THING?*

I know this is one topic many avoid, but it’s one we need to talk about.
Sex before marriage is becoming so common that it’s now seen as “normal.” Some even believe it’s how you prove love. But just because something is common doesn’t make it right.

Let me ask you:
Have you ever stopped to think about what sex really does?

It’s not just about the body. It connects your soul, your emotions, your heart. That’s why after sleeping with someone, it’s hard to just walk away.

Something deeper has been exchanged.
When you give your body before giving your commitment, things get complicated. Feelings get mixed. Expectations rise. Trust can break easily. And sometimes, heartbreak becomes the result.

Now, I’m not here to judge you. We all have a past, we've all made mistakes. But I’m here to remind you that waiting is not foolish. It’s wisdom. It’s protection. It’s saying, “I value you and I value us, enough to build a strong foundation first.”

If you’ve already had sex, listen, God is not done with you. You’re not damaged. You can start again. You can choose a fresh path. Purity is not about a perfect past; it’s about a decision you make today.

Love that waits is love that honors.
Love that respects boundaries is love that lasts.
You don’t need sex to prove love.

The right person will wait, and work on building a future with you, not using your body before making a commitment to your soul.

So yes, sex before marriage is really a thing. But you have a choice. A wise one.

Let’s build love the right way. Let’s do it God’s way. Let’s protect our hearts.

I love you enough to tell you the truth.

Becoming isn’t loud.
It’s not a grand announcement.
Not a polished version you finally arrive at.
Not something you need to prove.

True becoming is quieter than that.
It’s the moment you stop defending your boundaries.
The moment you stop apologizing for your peace.
The moment you stop trying to explain your healing to people who never understood your pain.

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.

You’re simply becoming — steady, grounded, and fully at home inside yourself.

🩶 If this landed, save it.
🩶 If you know someone who needs this, share it.
🩶 And if you’re in this season too, stay here — we go deep here