You see ehn… the day my husband embarrassed me in front of his family, I begged the ground to open and swallow me. But ground say “Lailai, collect your breakfast with your chest.”
That day, I died small. But I resurrected with sense. Nigerian woman sense. You know that version of you that’s quiet because she’s in love? I buried her that day and brought out my ancestors.
Let me gist you.
I was that “wife material” they write motivational quotes about. Always covering my husband in front of my people. Always defending him, carrying him like raw egg. Na me dey always say, “Baby is tired,” “Honey didn’t mean it,” “Please let’s not judge him.”
I used to beg my own parents to understand him.
Until one Sunday afternoon at his family compound I can never forget. It was supposed to be a simple lunch. I made efo riro, pounded yam and bush meat. I even helped bath his junior sister’s twins. Washed their plates. Joined his mum in the kitchen. Even gave his father money for his meds.
Next thing his elder brother started cracking a ****** joke about how I was “barren” and should focus more on producing children instead of seasoning meat. And do you know what my husband did?
He laughed.
Laughed o!
Not nervous laugh. I mean loud “my-brother-you’re-too-much” type of laugh. Like say dem just pop champagne.
He laughed and said, “You know say this one no dey hear word, always forming independent woman.”
His mum chuckled and said, “She needs deliverance. That’s how these Lagos girls behave.”
And his younger sister added pepper, “No be so we talk am before he marry am? She dey do pass herself.”
I looked at my husband. My eyes begged him to stop the disrespect. But instead, he turned to me and said, “Don’t take it personal na. We’re just playing.”
Playing??? On top my womb?! My dignity?!
From that moment, I changed.
I became HER. The version of me that removes wrapper, ties trousers and enters ring.
Gone was the soft babe. I returned his energy without blinking.
You come back home late? I no ask you anything. I sef dey enter 10pm with high heels and a sachet of shawarma.
He said I wasn’t cooking again? No wahala. I shifted the pots to one side and downloaded Jollof Plug on my phone.
He wanted war, I gave him military parade.
One night, he sat me down. Looking confused.
“Baby, what did I do wrong?”
I gave him the kind of stare that says, “Na today your eye clear?”
I said, “You did everything wrong. And your apology is ten guests late.”
Still he tried to gaslight me with puppy eyes. That day I turned to Odogwu the 1st of my father’s compound.
I told him straight:
“If you’re looking for a fool in love, go back to your village square. This one don graduate with certificate in war tactics.”
Next thing… his family began planning new wife for him.
Yes! They thought they could frustrate me to leave so they could bring in someone more “traditional”.
Even brought one slim girl to visit I gave her food laced with pure silence and sideways eyes.
You know when they saw I wasn’t moving? They started pretending to be nice. Fake “how are you?” and “hope you’re fine.”
Mtcheew. Who their fake care help?
His mother called one night to tell me, “My son is losing weight o. Is everything okay?”
I replied, “Maybe you should add more crayfish to his soup next time you call him to your house.”
But guess what? The tide turned.
My husband? He saw the light. The same family that laughed with him were now using his head to play ludo.
He realized I was the only one who ever truly cared.
He started begging.
“Please come back. Let’s start over.”
I said, “Oya rent house far from your family compound and let peace reign.”
And shockingly, he did it.
He relocated us. Got a job. Stood up to his family.
His mother visited without notice once… tried to raise her voice.
My husband looked her dead in the eye and said,
“Mummy, you can spend the night. But my wife is not your house girl. If you’re hungry, the kitchen is that way. Cook what you like. Or order online.”
The woman almost collapsed.
His siblings were speechless. I just stood, arms folded like Patience Ozokwor in a Nollywood finale.
LESSONS:
1. Don’t let love make you lose yourself.
2. In-laws can smell weakness. Be wise.
3. Respect in marriage is earned, not begged.
4. When you switch character, switch well.
If you’ve ever dealt with in-laws that thought you were soft, drop a comment.
Tag that your stubborn sister-in-law let her come and read wisdom
Abeg, if ground ever refuse to swallow you just
You see ehn… the day my husband embarrassed me in front of his family, I begged the ground to open and swallow me. But ground say “Lailai, collect your breakfast with your chest.”
That day, I died small. But I resurrected with sense. Nigerian woman sense. You know that version of you that’s quiet because she’s in love? I buried her that day and brought out my ancestors.
Let me gist you.
I was that “wife material” they write motivational quotes about. Always covering my husband in front of my people. Always defending him, carrying him like raw egg. Na me dey always say, “Baby is tired,” “Honey didn’t mean it,” “Please let’s not judge him.”
I used to beg my own parents to understand him.
Until one Sunday afternoon at his family compound I can never forget. It was supposed to be a simple lunch. I made efo riro, pounded yam and bush meat. I even helped bath his junior sister’s twins. Washed their plates. Joined his mum in the kitchen. Even gave his father money for his meds.
Next thing his elder brother started cracking a stupid joke about how I was “barren” and should focus more on producing children instead of seasoning meat. And do you know what my husband did?
He laughed.
Laughed o!
Not nervous laugh. I mean loud “my-brother-you’re-too-much” type of laugh. Like say dem just pop champagne.
He laughed and said, “You know say this one no dey hear word, always forming independent woman.”
His mum chuckled and said, “She needs deliverance. That’s how these Lagos girls behave.”
And his younger sister added pepper, “No be so we talk am before he marry am? She dey do pass herself.”
I looked at my husband. My eyes begged him to stop the disrespect. But instead, he turned to me and said, “Don’t take it personal na. We’re just playing.”
Playing??? On top my womb?! My dignity?!
From that moment, I changed.
I became HER. The version of me that removes wrapper, ties trousers and enters ring.
Gone was the soft babe. I returned his energy without blinking.
You come back home late? I no ask you anything. I sef dey enter 10pm with high heels and a sachet of shawarma.
He said I wasn’t cooking again? No wahala. I shifted the pots to one side and downloaded Jollof Plug on my phone.
He wanted war, I gave him military parade.
One night, he sat me down. Looking confused.
“Baby, what did I do wrong?”
I gave him the kind of stare that says, “Na today your eye clear?”
I said, “You did everything wrong. And your apology is ten guests late.”
Still he tried to gaslight me with puppy eyes. That day I turned to Odogwu the 1st of my father’s compound.
I told him straight:
“If you’re looking for a fool in love, go back to your village square. This one don graduate with certificate in war tactics.”
Next thing… his family began planning new wife for him.
Yes! They thought they could frustrate me to leave so they could bring in someone more “traditional”.
Even brought one slim girl to visit I gave her food laced with pure silence and sideways eyes.
You know when they saw I wasn’t moving? They started pretending to be nice. Fake “how are you?” and “hope you’re fine.”
Mtcheew. Who their fake care help?
His mother called one night to tell me, “My son is losing weight o. Is everything okay?”
I replied, “Maybe you should add more crayfish to his soup next time you call him to your house.”
But guess what? The tide turned.
My husband? He saw the light. The same family that laughed with him were now using his head to play ludo.
He realized I was the only one who ever truly cared.
He started begging.
“Please come back. Let’s start over.”
I said, “Oya rent house far from your family compound and let peace reign.”
And shockingly, he did it.
He relocated us. Got a job. Stood up to his family.
His mother visited without notice once… tried to raise her voice.
My husband looked her dead in the eye and said,
“Mummy, you can spend the night. But my wife is not your house girl. If you’re hungry, the kitchen is that way. Cook what you like. Or order online.”
The woman almost collapsed.
His siblings were speechless. I just stood, arms folded like Patience Ozokwor in a Nollywood finale.
LESSONS:
1. Don’t let love make you lose yourself.
2. In-laws can smell weakness. Be wise.
3. Respect in marriage is earned, not begged.
4. When you switch character, switch well.
🔥 If you’ve ever dealt with in-laws that thought you were soft, drop a comment.
😂 Tag that your stubborn sister-in-law let her come and read wisdom
💬
Abeg, if ground ever refuse to swallow you just 😌 👆👆
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