Marriage Vs culture

Marriage Vs culture involved In it

Tests for proper diagnosis:
You need to also go the hospital or visit a Laboratory anytime you have such symptoms especially when it keeps recurring.




1. High vaginal swab ( HVS) culture.

Your vaginal sample will be taken to the Medical Lab to check for infections.

2. Pelvic exam: A thorough examination to check for any abnormalities especially when there is associated abdominal pain or cramps.

3. STI testing:
Tests may be done to rule out Sexually transmitted infections such as Trichomoniasis etc.
You can also test for other STIs such as Gonorreah, Chlamydia, HPV etc.

4. pH testing:
A test to check the vagina's pH balance to know if the vagina PH has been altered.

Greetings Is Our Culture!!

27 WAYS TO BUILD A HAPPY AND LONG-LASTING MARRIAGE

Marriage is a beautiful and fulfilling relationship that requires commitment, love, and sacrifice.

No matter what culture you belong to, what religion you believe, what society, level of wealth, or era you live in – one thing common to all people is that they want to be "happy", especially in their marriages.

What Should you do?

1. Love the person you married, not the person you hoped you married. Accept your spouse totally. You cannot love a man/woman you do not accept. Stop comparing your spouse with anyone, he or she can never be somebody else. Until you accept your spouse, you can't get the best out of your marriage

2. Understand each other. No marriage succeeds without understanding. Learn to know one another as best as you can. Understand you are not the same and may never be. Respect that you are both individuals. Get to know each other strengths and weaknesses. Strengthen each other's weaknesses.

3. Be quick to forgive and quicker to apologize. Love forgives. Learn to accept apology. Freely forgive your spouse’s past, present and future offenses. Never refer to his/her past mistakes. Never go to bed with anger or unsettled quarrel. Marriage is two forgivers living together.

4. Ask your spouse, "What can I do for you today?" every single day.

5. Never talk bad about your spouse to other people. Protect him or her and always keep his or her name safe. Fight for each other, not with each other.

6. Have lots of s*x. Enjoy S*x with your spouse. Never withhold s*x as a punishment.

7. Keep the word "divorce" out of your vocabulary. Remember your vows. Review them on a regular basis.

8. Provide for the needs of your spouse and children. Never be stingy to your spouse. Care for his/her needs. Be generous to him/her. Pay your children’s school fees promptly and regularly. Marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. Give yourself entirely, and don't hold back. Men, Be sensitive to your wife’s needs. Spend money to beautify her.

9. Be faithful to your spouse. Being unfaithful is the easiest way to completely ruin your marriage. Adultery kills.

10. Understand and learn each other's love language. Either it can be words, gifts, touch, actions, etc. If it is words, then frequently tell your spouse you love and appreciate him/ her. If it is action: regularly do things that they appreciate: either take the garbage out, wash the dishes, cook the food, wash the car, etc.
Spoil each other. Keep track of the things your spouse loves and buy them for him or her.

11. Communication is the key to a relationship. Talk like friends and lovers. Don’t make your spouse guess what you are thinking or feeling. Don't expect him/her to read your mind. You should feel free to discuss all things without fear.

12. Always listen attentively to your spouse. Switch off your phone or television, shut down your computer or iPad and newspapers, books and magazine should be closed. The greatest communication skill you can develop is the listening skill. Be quiet and patient while he/she is speaking, when he/she is done, you can express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he is talking to you or when you’re talking to him. This will make him/her feel that you are interested in what he/she wants to say.

13. Love, respect and courtesy are basic ingredients of happy married life. Give them generously to your spouse. Show your spouse how much you love, care and appreciate him/her regularly. Say, "I love you," every single day.

14. Be honest and show sincere appreciation. Appreciate each other. Show your spouse appreciation for the little things. Be thankful and say so!!! Find something that you appreciate about your spouse and say thank you.

15. Surprise each other with lovely gifts, kiss and s*x.
Kiss passionately. Hold hands. Cuddle. Make physical affection a priority in your marriage.

16. Make quality time for each other. Keep dating each other. Put your marriage and spouse before your children. Play together. Never lose your sense of humor. Make your spouse your best friend.

17. Share everything...no secrets between you. Be open with your spouse.

18. Be polite and courteous to each other. Saying thank you, please and I am sorry.

19. Get rid of bad habits. Don’t do those things your spouse hates. Don’t do things that hurt him/her. Develop a godly character. Don’t create a hostile environment for your spouse. Focus on making your spouse happy. The best way to improve your relationship is to improve yourself.

20. Always be honest to your partner. Lying never gets you anywhere

21. Aim to do something at least once per week together. It does not matter what, even if it is to eat together, bath together, watch movies together, read books together and share light conversation

22. Do NOT look at other marriages and covet. No marriage is prefect. Remember, the grass is not greener on the other side. You will still have to maintain, mow and weed that side too!

23. Work at your marriage. If you ever lack motivation for your marriage and feel like the flame has gone dead. Just try to imagine yourself without your spouse. Talk to anyone who has lost their soul mate, and they'll tell you that they will give anything to have back that special someone.

Remember, it is your marriage, and you have come this far. Make the best of it. Pledge to yourself that you will do your part and try your best. Remember that you chose your spouse for forever.

24. All issues need to have a solution and be resolved at the time of the conversation. Finish what you start otherwise things just hang in the balance, which leads to future problems.

25. Don't make mountains out of mole hills. Don't waste your time fighting over little things. It's not worth it. Let small things go.

26. Don't broadcast your problems to everyone else. If you need to talk to someone about it, other than your spouse, get a therapist.

27. Above all: Serve God together, pray together & pray for one another. Pray for your spouse daily in your personal prayers. Be specific. Talk to God about his or her challenges and trials and ask Him what you can do to be a better spouse.

You will not fail in your marriage in Jesus' name

The Tale of Alaafin Ajaka and Sango: A Story of Brotherhood, Power, and Legacy in Yoruba History

The Beginning: Ajaka’s Peaceful Reign

In the early history of the Oyo Empire, two royal brothers—Ajaka and Sango—would leave a lasting imprint on Yoruba culture, history, and mythology. Both were sons of Oranyan, the founder of the Oyo Empire and a descendant of Oduduwa, the legendary progenitor of the Yoruba people.
Ajaka, the elder of the two, inherited the throne of Oyo as Alaafin (king). He was known for his calm, diplomatic, and non-aggressive nature. Unlike many of his predecessors who expanded their territory through warfare and power politics, Ajaka chose to rule through peace, tolerance, and dialogue. He emphasized internal development, peaceful coexistence with neighbors, and restraint in conflict.
However, his peaceful disposition was not well received in a time when strength, military might, and fear were key instruments of governance. His preference for peace was seen by many warriors and chiefs as a weakness, and this sentiment began to grow among the influential Oyo Mesi—the council of kingmakers tasked with keeping the Alaafin in check.

The Dethronement of Ajaka

Tension eventually boiled over when Ajaka refused to respond aggressively to provocations from surrounding kingdoms, especially the powerful Owu kingdom. When he avoided military confrontation with Owu and instead sought peaceful negotiation, the Oyo Mesi perceived this as a betrayal of Oyo’s warrior heritage and military dominance.
The Oyo Mesi, led by Bashorun (the head of the council), used their constitutional power to dethrone Ajaka, sending him into exile. His removal was seen as a corrective measure to restore the authority and reputation of the Oyo throne.
In his place, the council sought someone with a fiery and commanding presence—Ajaka’s younger brother, Sango, who had been building a name for himself in Nupe country.

The Rise of Sango

Sango was everything Ajaka was not. Where Ajaka was calm and diplomatic, Sango was bold, impulsive, and strong-willed. Trained as a warrior and rumored to possess supernatural powers, he had become famous for his magical control of lightning and thunder. He was charismatic, fearless, and deeply respected by military leaders.
When he took the throne, Sango launched campaigns of expansion, reasserting Oyo’s dominance. Under his rule, Oyo’s military power grew, and he appointed great generals such as Timi Agbale Olofa-Ina and Gbonka, who were instrumental in enforcing Sango's authority.
But while Sango’s military might restored the glory of the Oyo Empire, his fiery temper and growing pride became his downfall. According to legend, Sango’s magical powers, which he used to call down thunder, accidentally caused a fire that consumed part of his palace. In one version of the tale, he was overcome by guilt and shame and hung himself. In another, he disappeared into the heavens, transforming into an Orisha (deity)—thus becoming the god of thunder and lightning in the Yoruba religion.

Ajaka's Return to the Throne

After Sango’s mysterious and tragic end, the Oyo Mesi, now more cautious, looked to the past for stability. They recalled Ajaka from exile and offered him the throne once again, making him one of the very few monarchs in Yoruba history to rule twice.
This time, Ajaka returned not as a soft ruler, but as a wiser and more assertive king. He had learned from the past and chose to balance peace with strength. While still diplomatic, he no longer tolerated insubordination or external threats without consequence. His second reign was marked by moderation, growth, and a restored sense of unity in the empire.

Legacy and Significance

The story of Ajaka and Sango is more than a tale of two brothers—it is a study in the contrast between peaceful diplomacy and militaristic power, between restraint and aggression, between myth and history.
Sango’s deification and Ajaka’s rare return to the throne show how Yoruba culture weaves human leadership with spiritual symbolism, highlighting that no ruler is perfect, and no form of leadership is absolute. Ajaka’s patience and evolution into a more assertive king suggest that wisdom sometimes lies in waiting, while Sango’s fiery rise and divine transformation reflect the power of passion and destiny.

What Do You Know About This Story?

This account is drawn from a blend of oral history, myth, and recorded tradition. Different regions and families may tell it differently. Some say Sango never died but became a god. Others say Ajaka ruled for many more years in peace. What version have you heard?
What do you know about the story of Ajaka and Sango? What lessons do you think it teaches about leadership, power, and legacy in Yoruba history?

When people die, we say: “Do not speak ill of the dead.”

But today, I ask one question: what of the living the dead ruined?

What of the lives they shattered?

The voices they silenced?

The dreams they wasted?

What if the dead ruled with cruelty and departed, leaving a trail of victims too damaged to ever recover?

What if their legacy is the reason some died untimely, violently, and unnecessarily in the first place?

Muhammadu Buhari is gone.

And once again, a bleeding nation is being asked to perform its most dangerous ritual: FORGET!

But I remember.

I remember citizens waving flags and singing the anthem
gunned down at Lekki Tollgate by soldiers, under his government that saw a demand for dignity as defiance.

The streetlights went off.
The cameras looked away.
The bullets rained down mercilessly on unarmed citizens!

He was Commander-in-Chief!

Families are still grieving. Many are still missing.

His government denied their murder.

They made us question the evidence of our own eyes.

They spat on our memory and dared us to forget.

I remember the Shi’ites
fathers, sons, women, children
dragged through dust, crushed under boots,
for daring to march and pray differently.

I remember the violent burial of justice
when DSS agents invaded judges’ homes at midnight, Gestapo-style,
without warrants, without shame, without consequence.
Till date, no justification.
And the judiciary never stood the same again.

I remember the hundreds of “repentant” Boko Haram terrorists he released back into society
with fanfare, jollof rice, sewing machines, starter packs, and smiles
while widows of slain soldiers clutched folded flags and death certificates.
While children from burnt villages grew up without homes,
without fathers,
without mothers,
without answers.

I remember the grievous collapse of the economy
the deepest plunge into abyss this nation had witnessed in recent history
while Buhari repeatedly abandoned the country, disappearing for weeks without remorse, without explanation.

As inflation soared, the Naira crumbled into disgrace, and food prices became horror stories,
he remained absent.

Absent while businesses folded.

Absent while the World Poverty Clock declared Nigeria the Poverty Capital of the World.

He watched from a distance, aloof, detached, unmoved
and whenever he spoke, it was either denial or pure condescension.

No strategy.

No empathy.

No shame.

I remember the wickedness of his final days in office
a Naira redesign wrapped in the disguise of reform,
announced without foresight,
without care for the poor, the sick, the elderly, or the rural.

People died not for lack of medicine,
but because they couldn’t use or access their money to purchase it.

Aged parents wept bitterly in the streets, under the hot sun,
for days that turned into weeks, because their own money was locked away.

And Buhari, the Chief Architect of that doomsday policy
the man under whose watch lives wasted like scraps of paper
was the single biggest beneficiary of public goodwill in our democratic history!

Yet they say, “Do not speak ill of the dead.”

Why?

Because he is now under the earth?

Was he not godlike in power while we suffered under his rule?

Since when did death become a bleach that wipes away how people lived?

Since when did dying canonize men who had no empathy for the living?

He died in London
not in Zaria, not in Enugu, not in Jos
but in a foreign hospital most Nigerians cannot even dream of, let alone afford.

And his media aide, Femi Adesina, looked Nigerians dead in the face and said,
"Buhari could have long died if he used Nigerian hospitals...due to lack of medical competence..."

The sheer cruelty of the Nigerian ruling class in full glare!

So, who should use Nigerian hospitals?

Who should suffer the lack of "medical competence"?

The aggrieved masses, from whom you now demand silence or empathy for the dead?

The one who ruled for 8 YEARS over bad hospitals, empty pharmacies, and unpaid doctors?

And when his time came, he fled, as usual, the very system he created.

He ran from his own legacy.

How many Nigerians can run from bad governance?
How many of you reading this can afford London clinics?

But again, they say: “Do not speak ill of the dead.”

Do not remember your pain.
Do not remember your trauma.
Do not remember the loved ones you buried.
Do not remember the blood that dried on our streets.
Do not remember your truth.

But I do remember.
And I will not be silent.

He governed like a ghost
distant, cold, silent
except when denying responsibility.

He left a nation poorer, angrier, and more broken than he met it.
He stole our time.
He wasted our growth.
He stifled our voice.

And now, they want to steal our memory too?

Nigeria is a tragedy dressed in resilience.

We are too forgiving.
Too adaptive.
Too FORGETFUL.

We hug trauma like tradition.

We laugh in hunger...in pain!

We move on too fast, too far, before our wounds even scab.

We’ve normalized cuddling and being ruled by people who do not love us.

Leaders who weaponize our silence.

Who live lavishly off our forgetfulness.

Who take and take and take
because they know:
When they die, we’ll still say “rest in peace.”
We’ll still honor their ignoble memory and whisper: “Don’t speak ill of the dead.”

And so we never name shame.

We never call wickedness exactly what it is.

We never hang failure around the necks of those who earned it.

And that is why it never ends.

That is why they never stop taking us for granted.

Let Buhari’s name NEVER be uttered with reverence.

Let his memory haunt the halls of power.

Let his people carry the burden of the name that emptied a nation.

Let every living and future president, governor, senator, judge, and minister know:

If you ruin lives, you will not be remembered in peace.

We will not lie for you.

We will not absolve you.

We will not let death whitewash your legacy.

We will not silence our truth for the comfort of your memory.

---
This post is about us.

About Nigeria.

And how we keep burying our trauma under the cloak of politeness.

We say: “Let the dead rest.”

But did the dead let us rest?

We say: "Respect the dead."

But did the dead respect the living?

We must stop confusing cowardice for civility.
We must stop mistaking silence for grace.
We must be comfortable with painful truth, demanding accountability, and having tough conversations!

We must make it clear:

To die in disgrace must be a warning to the living.

A nation that does not shame the wicked will keep giving birth to monsters.

I want a country
where our children have a future they can trust.

Where they look up to their leaders and not just up at airplanes far in the sky.

Where our brightest minds don’t flee to be second-class citizens elsewhere.

Where hospitals heal, not kill.

Where doctors and health personnel are well paid
and not told to go learn tailoring, like Buhari's own Health Minister once said,
without fear of any rebuke from his boss, the President!

Where leaders are true stewards, not shameless, heartless predators.

And if that future must begin with truth,
then let it begin here.

Buhari failed this country.
Spectacularly.
Shamelessly.
Fatally.

He squandered hope and enormous goodwill, the kind never seen before.

That is his legacy, and I will not pretend otherwise.

Because when death becomes a sweet deodorant for wickedness,
we teach the living that legacies don’t matter
and that is how nations die long before their people do.

And to those of you who say, “He’s gone now. Let’s move on. Let’s focus on our own legacy…”

I say: we cannot build clean legacies atop the graves of unaccounted wickedness.

To move forward without reckoning is not wisdom; it is willful amnesia. It is dangerous, faux morality!

The dead may be gone, yes. But their choices still live with us.

Their impact outlives their breath.

And the way we remember them tells the living what history will one day say of them too.

“Do not speak ill of the dead?”

Then, let the dead live better.

Let them lead with conscience,

remembering the day they'll take their final breath.

Enough of political correctness that earns us nothing.

Enough of false civility that brings us more chains and despair.

Enough of this culture of respectability we have pushed too far into sheer docility.

Let the dead rest, if they so deserve.

But let the truth never sleep.

My name is Ayo Atitebi, and I am my father's child!
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People don't really know how terrible poverty is.

They think it's just a lack of money.
Meanwhile, it's lack of money, access, help, choice, mentorship, and so much more.

It's the absence of someone to guide you through doors you didn't even know existed.

It's watching opportunities pass by not because you're lazy, but because you never even heard they were calling.

It's waking up with talent in your bones, fire in your chest, but nowhere to pour it into.

It's being brilliant, but stuck, because brilliance alone can't buy data, can't pay transport, can't afford connections.

Poverty blocks travel. It blocks exposure. It blocks the kind of education that teaches you how to dream and reach.

It blocks safety, because when you're poor, even sickness becomes a luxury you can't afford to have.

It blocks creativity. Not because the ideas aren't there, but because survival takes up all the mental space.

It blocks confidence. When all you've ever known is lack, it rewires your self-worth.

It blocks voice. Because society listens differently to someone with empty pockets.

It blocks experimentation, because you can't afford to fail when failure means hunger, prison or even death.

It blocks rest. It steals sleep. It drains peace.

It blocks time, as everything takes longer when you have to figure it all out alone, from scratch, with no safety net.

It blocks joy. Not all of it, but the kind that lasts.

It blocks visibility. You can be exceptional and invisible at the same time if you're poor.

It blocks love. Real, safe, sustained love.
It blocks even the belief that things could ever be different.

But here's what makes it more tragic... Poverty is not just financial. It becomes mental. Emotional. Generational.
It passes down like an unwanted inheritance. A chain of silence, of limits, of "manage it like that,"
... of "this is how it's always been."

Gradually, it stops being just a condition. It becomes an environment. A culture. A cage.

So if you've escaped poverty, I congratulate you. What you have accomplished is in the list of top three most difficult things in the world. Please, don't just count your blessings, reach back, open doors and help some out too. Just be sure that you've escaped totally. You can pull people out of the well if you've made it outside the well. Doing it inside the well can make you fall back to the bottom.

If you're still in it, hold on. You're not crazy. You're not broken. The system is.

And if you're in a position to do something, do something. Not everyone needs a miracle. Sometimes, people just need a ride to the interview.

A connection. A kind word. A break.

What you feel is a negligible help might just be what they need to begin to break the chain.

“They own English — so why should I try to sell it to them?” – Phyno

There was a time when Phyno was rapping in English, still trying to find himself.
But then he asked the realest question:
“If I want to sell to the world, what do I have that they don’t?”

That’s when it hit him…

“I can’t go to the UK and sell English. That’s theirs. But I can sell Igbo… my culture, my originality. That’s my power.”

From that moment, Phyno carved a lane no one else was on — and became one of the biggest Igbo artists in history

The moral?
If you want to stand out, don’t copy them.
Be so original that they have no choice but to respect your difference.

Daily devotion for July 20th
Struck Down, But Not Destroyed
As the soldiers were about to take Paul into the barracks, he asked the commander, May I say something to you? Do you speak Greek? he replied. Aren't you the Egyptian who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the wilderness some time ago? Paul answered, I am a Jew, from Tarsus in Cilicia, a citizen of no ordinary city. Please let me speak to the people.

Acts 21:37-39
How remarkable that Paul would ask to speak to this enraged mob which had just been ready to tear him limb from limb! I am sure that if I had been in his shoes I would have been trying to get out of there as fast as possible, quite content to let the mob go. But Paul recognizes this as his opportunity. He has come to Jerusalem determined to speak to his nation. Out of the urgency of his love for them he wants to be the instrument to reach this stubborn crowd. So he seizes the only opportunity he has, hoping the Lord will give him success.

The tribune is very startled when Paul addresses him in Greek, because this rough Roman officer thought he knew who Paul was. He thought he was that Egyptian who, according to Josephus, a year or so earlier had led a band of desperate men out to the Mount of Olives, promising them that he had the power to cause the walls of Jerusalem to fall down at his command. Of course he was unable to deliver on his promise, and the Romans had made short work of the rebels, killing most of them, but the Egyptian leader had escaped.

But when this tribune heard the cultured accents of Greece he knew that Paul was no Assassin. (The rebels were called that because they had concealed daggers in their cloaks, and as they mingled among the people they would strike without warning, killing people at random in cold blood. They were utter terrorists, trying to strike terror into the Jewish populace and thus to overthrow the Roman government.) And so, impressed by something about the apostle, the tribune lets him speak to this crowd. Amazingly, when Paul indicates with his hand that he wants to speak, a great hush falls.

As we review this account I cannot help but think of the phrase Paul uses in his second letter to the Corinthians: struck down, but not destroyed... (2 Corinthians 4:9b RSV). God will sometimes let us encounter great difficulty, but he never abandons us. He never leaves us all alone. He always gives us the power and courage we need to face our opposition. He finds a way to work it all out and uses it for his glory. God never abandons his people!

Thank you, Father, for this wonderful example of how you give courage and boldness to one who was in great trouble. Grant to me the same boldness!

*WHY SOME PEOPLE DEVELOP HEALTH CHALLENGES IMMEDIATELY AFTER RETIREMENT*

Retirement, often envisioned as a time of rest and enjoyment, can unexpectedly become a season of health decline for many. The transition from active employment to a quieter lifestyle, if unplanned or misunderstood, can trigger physical ailments, emotional distress, and psychological instability. This is to explore the various reasons why some people develop health challenges immediately after retirement, aiming to enlighten individuals, families, and institutions on how to prepare better for this critical life stage.

*1. Sudden Loss of Routine and Structure*

Work provides daily order. Retirement disrupts this, often leading to irregular sleep, inactivity, and disorganized living.

*Health risk:* Obesity, stress, insomnia, mental fatigue.

*2. Identity Crisis and Psychological Shock*

Work often defines one’s purpose. Retirement may lead to a loss of identity.

*Effect:* Depression, anxiety, memory loss, reduced self-worth.

*3. Financial Stress and Insecurity*

Unprepared retirees may face delayed pensions, inflation, or loss of income.

*Physical effect:* High blood pressure, heart issues, ulcers.

*4. Physical Inactivity*

No more commuting or scheduled movement may lead to a sedentary life.

*Consequences:* Weight gain, diabetes, cardiovascular problems.

*5. Social Isolation*

Many retirees lose workplace friendships and lack new social circles.

*Health outcome:* Loneliness, dementia risk, immune decline.

*6. Previously Ignored Health Conditions*

Pre-retirement busyness may have masked symptoms.

Post-retirement: Arthritis, hypertension, vision problems surface.

*7. Poor Nutrition*

Depression, low funds, or lack of appetite can reduce proper feeding.

*Result:* Malnutrition, weak bones, low energy.

*8. Medication Abuse*

Without guidance, retirees may misuse supplements or self-medicate.

*Dangers:* Kidney/liver issues, drug interactions, toxicity.

*9. Spiritual Disconnection*

The sudden pause in life may trigger existential questions.

*Effect:* Despair, hopelessness, mental/spiritual breakdown.

*10. Lack of Purpose*

No meaningful engagement accelerates cognitive decline.

*Risk:* Memory loss, depression, addiction to harmful habits.

*11. Family or Marital Stress*

Now spending more time at home, unresolved tensions may surface.

Health implication: High blood pressure, emotional burnout.

*12. Environmental Hazards*

Retreating to underdeveloped areas may limit healthcare access.

*Results:* Infections, delayed treatments, chronic illnesses.

*13. Cumulative Grief*

Multiple losses (friends, peers, purpose) in short periods.

*Effect:* Depression, emotional shutdown, psychosomatic symptoms.

*14. Societal Neglect*

Some cultures view retirees as “finished,” especially when poor.

*Outcome:* Isolation, bitterness, mental health crises.

*15. Lack of Retirement Preparedness*

Retirement is often treated as an event, not a life stage.

*Effect:* Confusion, shock, mismanagement of time and resources.

*> Retirement doesn’t cause illness—poor preparation and transition do.*

*It is crucial to start preparing early: financially, mentally, socially, physically, and spiritually. A fulfilling retirement is possible when approached with wisdom, planning, and support systems. It's not just the end of work; it should be the beginning of a purposeful new chapter.*