• Born on These 4 Dates? You're Destined for Wealth

    Numerology analyzes an individual’s behavior, characteristics, and career choices based on their birth date. The Life Path Number, derived from adding the digits of your birth date, plays a significant role in this analysis. Life Path Number 1 individuals are often seen as special, achieving notable success in both life and career.

    Lucky Birth Dates

    People born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, or 28th of any month have a Life Path Number of 1. This number is associated with the Sun’s energy, symbolizing confidence, leadership, and creativity. Those born on these dates are natural leaders.

    These individuals are confident, independent thinkers who draw others in with their unique personalities, leaving a lasting impression wherever they go. They embrace challenges and turn them into opportunities for success.

    However, their strong personalities can sometimes lead to stubbornness and arrogance. They may believe their way is the only correct way, occasionally overlooking the advice of others.

    Despite this, they have pure hearts and are always willing to help those in need. Their creativity often leads them to success in fields like art, writing, and other creative professions.

    Friendships and Relationships

    Life Path Number 1 individuals are loyal and respectful partners. While they deeply value their loved ones, they also cherish their independence within relationships. They expect mutual respect and understanding from their partners. However, their strong-willed nature, coupled with occasional stubbornness, may lead to conflicts. Maintaining balance and open communication is essential for a successful love life.

    Career Choices

    With ambitious goals, those with Life Path Number 1 are determined to achieve them. Careers that emphasize leadership, innovation, and independence are ideal. They excel in fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising, art, writing, and technology.

    Health

    While energetic and active, their dedication to their pursuits can lead to stress and fatigue. Practicing yoga, meditation, and regular exercise can help them maintain mental clarity. Their busy schedules might sometimes cause irregular eating habits, so it’s important for them to maintain a balanced diet and a healthy, active lifestyle.
    Born on These 4 Dates? You're Destined for Wealth Numerology analyzes an individual’s behavior, characteristics, and career choices based on their birth date. The Life Path Number, derived from adding the digits of your birth date, plays a significant role in this analysis. Life Path Number 1 individuals are often seen as special, achieving notable success in both life and career. Lucky Birth Dates People born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, or 28th of any month have a Life Path Number of 1. This number is associated with the Sun’s energy, symbolizing confidence, leadership, and creativity. Those born on these dates are natural leaders. These individuals are confident, independent thinkers who draw others in with their unique personalities, leaving a lasting impression wherever they go. They embrace challenges and turn them into opportunities for success. However, their strong personalities can sometimes lead to stubbornness and arrogance. They may believe their way is the only correct way, occasionally overlooking the advice of others. Despite this, they have pure hearts and are always willing to help those in need. Their creativity often leads them to success in fields like art, writing, and other creative professions. Friendships and Relationships Life Path Number 1 individuals are loyal and respectful partners. While they deeply value their loved ones, they also cherish their independence within relationships. They expect mutual respect and understanding from their partners. However, their strong-willed nature, coupled with occasional stubbornness, may lead to conflicts. Maintaining balance and open communication is essential for a successful love life. Career Choices With ambitious goals, those with Life Path Number 1 are determined to achieve them. Careers that emphasize leadership, innovation, and independence are ideal. They excel in fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising, art, writing, and technology. Health While energetic and active, their dedication to their pursuits can lead to stress and fatigue. Practicing yoga, meditation, and regular exercise can help them maintain mental clarity. Their busy schedules might sometimes cause irregular eating habits, so it’s important for them to maintain a balanced diet and a healthy, active lifestyle.
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  • 12 NEGATIVE THINGS YOU MUST NEVER DO OR SAY DURING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE



    Disagreements in marriage are normal. Offense must come, no matter how holy and anointed you are. But we must learn to handle disputes with God's wisdom so that they won’t lead to MARITAL CRISIS AND DIVORCE.

    HERE ARE 12 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO DURING AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR SPOUSE.

    1. Never say a word you may later regret.
    Never let your emotions control you.
    No matter how angry you are, never speak a word you will regret later. Avoid negative arguments. If you must argue, do it with love. Control your anger. Don’t abuse your tongue.
    Some couples are divorced today because they cannot control their tongues.

    Words spoken in anger can destroy a blissful marriage overnight.

    2. Never Be Too Proud To I Am Sorry.
    One thing that helped me and my wife and is still helping us is the ability to say I am sorry. This five-letter word (Sorry) is powerful.

    Learn to say I am sorry if you desire a peaceful and long-lasting marriage-

    There are two times you should say I am sorry. When you are right and when you are wrong. Why? So that peace can reign in your marriage. It’s better to be wrong and have a peaceful home than to be right and have a broken home.

    Don't be too arrogant to say “I am sorry” or “Please forgive me”. These are some of the most powerful words you will need to learn to use in your marriage.

    3. Never thr€aten your spouse with Divorce. There is no dignity in divorce. No thr€at of divorce or separation. Avoid mentioning divorce. Don’t even think of it because Love never fails. Decide to build a long-lasting marriage. God hates divorce.

    Every marriage has its challenges. True love is known in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there.

    So fight for your marriage.

    4. Never refer to the past offenses of your spouse. Forgive and move on. Don’t say, last year you did this and that. Old issues should pass away.

    5. Never forget the goodness of your spouse when there is an issue.

    Don't turn your spouse into an enemy because of one single argument. Never turn your spouse into a devil because of one single argument. That’s why it is not good to make a decision when there is an argument. You may make a decision you may later regret.

    6. NEVER Raise your voice whenever there is an argument. DON’T SHOUT AT YOUR SPOUSE NO MATTER THE OFFENCE. Never shout at your spouse no matter what happen. The only time you are permitted to shout in marriage is when the house is on fire. God forbid. You should Talk as lovers and friends in marriage

    7. Never place a curse on your spouse no matter the offence. I read a story about a woman who told her husband never to come back home, and he never returned. He had an accident and d!ed on the spot. The tongue has the power of life and d€ath.

    8. Avoid trying to win every argument in your marriage. YOUR HOME IS NOT A LAW COURT. Don’t be Defensive. If you discover you are wrong, acknowledge it. Don't try to "win" the argument. So many fights or marital crises can be ended once you admit you are wrong instead of trying to defend yourself. You must Choose happiness over being right. Also, you don't have to argue over every little disagreement. Sometimes you have to move on from the petty differences you have with your spouse and focus on more important things

    9. NEVER raise your hand on your spouse.

    Never start destr0ying your property because you are angry. Domestic vi0lence is unacceptable. No matter how angry you are, never beat your spouse.

    10. Never Stop Caring When You Are Having Issues With Your Spouse. Don't stop cooking and serving your spouse, never stop calling to know how your spouse's day is going, never stop praying for your spouse, and never stop dropping money at home because there is a misunderstanding. Don't stop eating at home. Never suspend all the good things you have always done for your spouse because there is an issue

    11. Never Compare Your Spouse With Anybody

    No perfect marriage. Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness you can't get the best out of his strength.

    Focus on what your spouse is doing right in marriage. Focus on his/her strengths, not his/her weaknesses.

    Stop focusing on the mistakes or weaknesses of your spouse. Be patient with your spouse. Try to understand and accept your differences and celebrate them.

    Never compare your husband to old boyfriends, your brother, father, pastor, or anyone else. Never compare your wife to your ex, mother, sisters, or pastor’s wife

    Stop comparing your marriage with someone else’s.

    Invest in your marriage,

    12. NEVER STOP TO PRAYING TOGETHER

    Don't let conflict, anger, or offense destroy your prayer life. Many Married couples slowly stop praying together the moment they have an issue in marriage. You see, the best time to pray with your spouse is when there is an issue.

    Once you stop praying because of any offense, you have allowed the devil to take a place in your home. Fight for your marriage by praying without ceasing. Your spouse is not your enemy. The devil is your enemy.

    You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name

    Kindly share this message with your loved ones
    12 NEGATIVE THINGS YOU MUST NEVER DO OR SAY DURING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE📌📌📌📌📌📌📌📌📌 Disagreements in marriage are normal. Offense must come, no matter how holy and anointed you are. But we must learn to handle disputes with God's wisdom so that they won’t lead to MARITAL CRISIS AND DIVORCE. HERE ARE 12 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO DURING AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 1. 📌Never say a word you may later regret. Never let your emotions control you. No matter how angry you are, never speak a word you will regret later. Avoid negative arguments. If you must argue, do it with love. Control your anger. Don’t abuse your tongue. Some couples are divorced today because they cannot control their tongues. Words spoken in anger can destroy a blissful marriage overnight. 2. 📌Never Be Too Proud To I Am Sorry. One thing that helped me and my wife and is still helping us is the ability to say I am sorry. This five-letter word (Sorry) is powerful. Learn to say I am sorry if you desire a peaceful and long-lasting marriage- There are two times you should say I am sorry. When you are right and when you are wrong. Why? So that peace can reign in your marriage. It’s better to be wrong and have a peaceful home than to be right and have a broken home. Don't be too arrogant to say “I am sorry” or “Please forgive me”. These are some of the most powerful words you will need to learn to use in your marriage. 3. 📌Never thr€aten your spouse with Divorce. There is no dignity in divorce. No thr€at of divorce or separation. Avoid mentioning divorce. Don’t even think of it because Love never fails. Decide to build a long-lasting marriage. God hates divorce. Every marriage has its challenges. True love is known in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there. So fight for your marriage. 4. 📌Never refer to the past offenses of your spouse. Forgive and move on. Don’t say, last year you did this and that. Old issues should pass away. 5. 📌Never forget the goodness of your spouse when there is an issue. Don't turn your spouse into an enemy because of one single argument. Never turn your spouse into a devil because of one single argument. That’s why it is not good to make a decision when there is an argument. You may make a decision you may later regret. 6. 📌NEVER Raise your voice whenever there is an argument. DON’T SHOUT AT YOUR SPOUSE NO MATTER THE OFFENCE. Never shout at your spouse no matter what happen. The only time you are permitted to shout in marriage is when the house is on fire. God forbid. You should Talk as lovers and friends in marriage 7. 📌Never place a curse on your spouse no matter the offence. I read a story about a woman who told her husband never to come back home, and he never returned. He had an accident and d!ed on the spot. The tongue has the power of life and d€ath. 8. 📌Avoid trying to win every argument in your marriage. YOUR HOME IS NOT A LAW COURT. Don’t be Defensive. If you discover you are wrong, acknowledge it. Don't try to "win" the argument. So many fights or marital crises can be ended once you admit you are wrong instead of trying to defend yourself. You must Choose happiness over being right. Also, you don't have to argue over every little disagreement. Sometimes you have to move on from the petty differences you have with your spouse and focus on more important things 9. 📌NEVER raise your hand on your spouse. Never start destr0ying your property because you are angry. Domestic vi0lence is unacceptable. No matter how angry you are, never beat your spouse. 10. 📌Never Stop Caring When You Are Having Issues With Your Spouse. Don't stop cooking and serving your spouse, never stop calling to know how your spouse's day is going, never stop praying for your spouse, and never stop dropping money at home because there is a misunderstanding. Don't stop eating at home. Never suspend all the good things you have always done for your spouse because there is an issue 11. 📌Never Compare Your Spouse With Anybody No perfect marriage. Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness you can't get the best out of his strength. Focus on what your spouse is doing right in marriage. Focus on his/her strengths, not his/her weaknesses. Stop focusing on the mistakes or weaknesses of your spouse. Be patient with your spouse. Try to understand and accept your differences and celebrate them. Never compare your husband to old boyfriends, your brother, father, pastor, or anyone else. Never compare your wife to your ex, mother, sisters, or pastor’s wife Stop comparing your marriage with someone else’s. Invest in your marriage, 12. 📌NEVER STOP TO PRAYING TOGETHER Don't let conflict, anger, or offense destroy your prayer life. Many Married couples slowly stop praying together the moment they have an issue in marriage. You see, the best time to pray with your spouse is when there is an issue. Once you stop praying because of any offense, you have allowed the devil to take a place in your home. Fight for your marriage by praying without ceasing. Your spouse is not your enemy. The devil is your enemy. You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name Kindly share this message with your loved ones 🙏
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  • If your faith is shaken/broken because of the scandals pastors get themselves into you were not truly a follower of Jesus to begin with. Men and women of God are only meant to point you in the direction of Christ, then you personally walk the road to glory yourself with the Holy Spirit.

    𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝟏𝟕:𝟏𝟏 "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲 to see if what Paul said was true."

    𝐏𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝟐:𝟏𝟐 "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 with fear and trembling."
    If your faith is shaken/broken because of the scandals pastors get themselves into you were not truly a follower of Jesus to begin with. Men and women of God are only meant to point you in the direction of Christ, then you personally walk the road to glory yourself with the Holy Spirit. 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝟏𝟕:𝟏𝟏 "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲 to see if what Paul said was true." 𝐏𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝟐:𝟏𝟐 "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 with fear and trembling."
    0 Commentarios 0 Acciones 26 Views
  • Plateau State Community Laments Gunmen Killing Of 58 Residents, Says 'We're Tired Of Burying Loved Ones' | Sahara Reporters
    Plateau State Community Laments Gunmen Killing Of 58 Residents, Says 'We're Tired Of Burying Loved Ones' | Sahara Reporters
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  • A LONG READ

    How do we choose the people we fall in love with?

    The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us.

    Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives.

    In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage.

    Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.

    The Romantic attitude sounds warm and kind. Its originators certainly imagined that it would bring an end to the sort of unhappy relationships previously brokered by parents and society. The only difficulty is that our obedience to instinct has, very often, proved to be a disaster of its own.

    Respecting the special feelings we get around certain people in nightclubs and train stations, parties and websites and that Romanticism so ably celebrated in art appears not to have led us to be any happier in our unions than a Medieval couple shackled into marriage by two royal courts keen to preserve the sovereignty of a slice of ancestral land. ‘Instinct’ has been little better than ‘calculation’ in underwriting the quality of our love stories.

    Romanticism would not at this point, however, give up the argument quite so easily. It would simply ascribe the difficulties we often have in love to not having looked hard enough for that central fixture of Romantic reverie: the right person. This being is inevitably still out there (every soul must have its soulmate, Romanticism assures us), it is just that we haven’t managed to track them down – yet.

    So we must continue the search, with all the technology and tenacity necessary, and maybe, once the divorce has come through and the house has been sold, we’ll get it right. But there’s another school of thought, this one influenced by psychoanalysis, which challenges the notion that instinct invariably draws us to those who will make us happy.

    The theory insists that we don’t fall in love first and foremost with those who care for us in ideal ways, we fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways. Adult love emerges from a template of how we should be loved that was created in childhood and is likely to be entwined with a range of problematic compulsions that militate in key ways against our chances of growth.

    We may believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood – and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care.

    The love most of us will have tasted early on was confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes.

    How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right – in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable – given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned.

    We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration. Psychoanalysis calls the process whereby we identify our partners ‘object choice’ – and recommends that we try to understand the factors semi-consciously governing our attractions in order to interrupt the unhealthier patterns that might be at play.

    Our instincts – our strong undercurrents of attraction and revulsion – stem from complicated experiences we had when we were far too young to understand them, and which linger in the antechambers of our minds.

    Psychoanalysis doesn’t wish to suggest that everything about our attractions will be deformed. We may have quite legitimate aspirations to positive qualities: intelligence, charm, generosity… But we are also liable to be fatefully drawn towards trickier tendencies: someone who is often absent, or treats us with a little disdain, or needs to be surrounded all the time by friends, or cannot master their finances.

    However paradoxical it can sound, without these tricky behaviours, we may simply not be able to feel passionate or tender with someone.

    Alternatively, we may have been so traumatised by a parental figure, we cannot approach any partner who shares qualities with them of any kind, even ones disconnected from their negative sides. We might in love be rigidly intolerant of anyone who is intelligent, or punctual or interested in science, simply because these were the traits of someone who caused us a great deal of difficulty early on.

    To choose our partners wisely, we need to tease out how our compulsions to suffering or our rigid flights from trauma may be playing themselves out in our feelings of attraction. A useful starting place is to ask ourselves (perhaps in the company of a large sheet of paper, a pen and a free afternoon) what sort of people really put us off.

    Revulsion and disgust are useful first guides because we are likely to recognize that some of the traits that make us shiver are not objectively negative and yet feel to us distinctly off-putting. We might, for example, sense that someone who asks us too much about ourselves, or is very tender or dependable, will seem extremely eerie and frightening.

    And we might equally well, along the way, recognize that a degree of cruelty or distance belong to an odd list of the things we appear genuinely to need in order to love. It can be tricky to avoid self-censorship here, but the point isn’t to represent ourselves as reassuring, predictable people, but to get to know the curious quirks of our own psyches.

    We’ll tend to find that some ostensibly pretty nice things are getting caught in our love filters: people who are eloquent, clever, reliable, sunny can set off loud alarms. This is vital knowledge. We should pause and try to fathom where the aversions come from, what aspects of our past have made it so hard for us to accept certain sorts of emotional nourishment.

    Each time we recognize a negative, we’re discovering a crucial association in our own minds: we’re alighting on an impossibility of love based on associations from the past projected onto the present. An additional way we can get at the associations which circulate powerfully in the less noticed corners of our brains is to finish stub-sentences, that invite us to respond to things that might charm or repel us about someone.

    We get to see our own reactions more clearly when we write things down without thinking too much about our answers, catching the mind’s unconscious at work.

    For instance, we can deliberately jot the first things that come into our heads when we read the following:
    • If I tell a partner how much I need them, they will…
    • When someone tells me they really need me, I…
    • If someone can’t cope, I…
    • When someone tells me to get my act together, I …
    • If I were to be frank about my anxieties …
    • If my partner told me not to worry, I’d…
    • When someone blames me unfairly, I …

    Our honestly described reactions are legacies. They are revealing underlying assumptions we have acquired about what love can look like. We may start to get a clearer picture that our vision of what we are looking for in another person might not be an especially good guide to our personal or mutual happiness.

    Examining our emotional histories, we see that we can’t be attracted to just anyone. Getting to know the past, we come to recognise our earlier associations for what they are: generalisations we formed – entirely understandably – on the basis of just one or, hugely impressive, examples.

    We’ve unknowingly turned some local associations into strict rules for relationships. Even if we can’t radically shift the pattern, it’s useful to know that we are carrying a ball and chain. It can make us more careful of ourselves when we feel overwhelmed by a certainty that we’ve met the one, after a few minutes chatting at the bar.

    Ultimately, we stand to be liberated to love different people to our initial ‘types’, because we find that the qualities we like, and the ones we very much fear, are found in different constellations from those we encountered in the people who first taught us about affection, long ago in a childhood we are starting at last to understand and free ourselves from.

    The Counsellor
    A LONG READ How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy. The Romantic attitude sounds warm and kind. Its originators certainly imagined that it would bring an end to the sort of unhappy relationships previously brokered by parents and society. The only difficulty is that our obedience to instinct has, very often, proved to be a disaster of its own. Respecting the special feelings we get around certain people in nightclubs and train stations, parties and websites and that Romanticism so ably celebrated in art appears not to have led us to be any happier in our unions than a Medieval couple shackled into marriage by two royal courts keen to preserve the sovereignty of a slice of ancestral land. ‘Instinct’ has been little better than ‘calculation’ in underwriting the quality of our love stories. Romanticism would not at this point, however, give up the argument quite so easily. It would simply ascribe the difficulties we often have in love to not having looked hard enough for that central fixture of Romantic reverie: the right person. This being is inevitably still out there (every soul must have its soulmate, Romanticism assures us), it is just that we haven’t managed to track them down – yet. So we must continue the search, with all the technology and tenacity necessary, and maybe, once the divorce has come through and the house has been sold, we’ll get it right. But there’s another school of thought, this one influenced by psychoanalysis, which challenges the notion that instinct invariably draws us to those who will make us happy. The theory insists that we don’t fall in love first and foremost with those who care for us in ideal ways, we fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways. Adult love emerges from a template of how we should be loved that was created in childhood and is likely to be entwined with a range of problematic compulsions that militate in key ways against our chances of growth. We may believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood – and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care. The love most of us will have tasted early on was confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes. How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right – in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable – given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned. We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration. Psychoanalysis calls the process whereby we identify our partners ‘object choice’ – and recommends that we try to understand the factors semi-consciously governing our attractions in order to interrupt the unhealthier patterns that might be at play. Our instincts – our strong undercurrents of attraction and revulsion – stem from complicated experiences we had when we were far too young to understand them, and which linger in the antechambers of our minds. Psychoanalysis doesn’t wish to suggest that everything about our attractions will be deformed. We may have quite legitimate aspirations to positive qualities: intelligence, charm, generosity… But we are also liable to be fatefully drawn towards trickier tendencies: someone who is often absent, or treats us with a little disdain, or needs to be surrounded all the time by friends, or cannot master their finances. However paradoxical it can sound, without these tricky behaviours, we may simply not be able to feel passionate or tender with someone. Alternatively, we may have been so traumatised by a parental figure, we cannot approach any partner who shares qualities with them of any kind, even ones disconnected from their negative sides. We might in love be rigidly intolerant of anyone who is intelligent, or punctual or interested in science, simply because these were the traits of someone who caused us a great deal of difficulty early on. To choose our partners wisely, we need to tease out how our compulsions to suffering or our rigid flights from trauma may be playing themselves out in our feelings of attraction. A useful starting place is to ask ourselves (perhaps in the company of a large sheet of paper, a pen and a free afternoon) what sort of people really put us off. Revulsion and disgust are useful first guides because we are likely to recognize that some of the traits that make us shiver are not objectively negative and yet feel to us distinctly off-putting. We might, for example, sense that someone who asks us too much about ourselves, or is very tender or dependable, will seem extremely eerie and frightening. And we might equally well, along the way, recognize that a degree of cruelty or distance belong to an odd list of the things we appear genuinely to need in order to love. It can be tricky to avoid self-censorship here, but the point isn’t to represent ourselves as reassuring, predictable people, but to get to know the curious quirks of our own psyches. We’ll tend to find that some ostensibly pretty nice things are getting caught in our love filters: people who are eloquent, clever, reliable, sunny can set off loud alarms. This is vital knowledge. We should pause and try to fathom where the aversions come from, what aspects of our past have made it so hard for us to accept certain sorts of emotional nourishment. Each time we recognize a negative, we’re discovering a crucial association in our own minds: we’re alighting on an impossibility of love based on associations from the past projected onto the present. An additional way we can get at the associations which circulate powerfully in the less noticed corners of our brains is to finish stub-sentences, that invite us to respond to things that might charm or repel us about someone. We get to see our own reactions more clearly when we write things down without thinking too much about our answers, catching the mind’s unconscious at work. For instance, we can deliberately jot the first things that come into our heads when we read the following: • If I tell a partner how much I need them, they will… • When someone tells me they really need me, I… • If someone can’t cope, I… • When someone tells me to get my act together, I … • If I were to be frank about my anxieties … • If my partner told me not to worry, I’d… • When someone blames me unfairly, I … Our honestly described reactions are legacies. They are revealing underlying assumptions we have acquired about what love can look like. We may start to get a clearer picture that our vision of what we are looking for in another person might not be an especially good guide to our personal or mutual happiness. Examining our emotional histories, we see that we can’t be attracted to just anyone. Getting to know the past, we come to recognise our earlier associations for what they are: generalisations we formed – entirely understandably – on the basis of just one or, hugely impressive, examples. We’ve unknowingly turned some local associations into strict rules for relationships. Even if we can’t radically shift the pattern, it’s useful to know that we are carrying a ball and chain. It can make us more careful of ourselves when we feel overwhelmed by a certainty that we’ve met the one, after a few minutes chatting at the bar. Ultimately, we stand to be liberated to love different people to our initial ‘types’, because we find that the qualities we like, and the ones we very much fear, are found in different constellations from those we encountered in the people who first taught us about affection, long ago in a childhood we are starting at last to understand and free ourselves from. ©️The Counsellor
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  • FOUR ZONES TO LEAVE IN THIS 2025


    Will you shock and surprise yourself by leaving these four zones?

    1. COMFORT ZONE. You must take calculated risks if you want to achieve any meaningful goals. Stop folding hands and wasting time. Go out and get busy

    2. BLAME ZONE. Blaming the government, your parents, ancestors, friends and other family members for not helping you is a waste of time. Work hard and take full responsibility of your failures and non achievements.

    3. PITY ZONE. Stop being dramatic by using emotional tactics to fence off your inability to succeed. OK, you are unemployed for 5 years after graduation and you think the whole world is unfair to you? There is no fair world. Create and innovate with your skills and vow never to depend on anyone again. Employ yourself

    4. HOSTAGE ZONE. Never allow others to treat you as a doormat in your relationships. Stop the hostage situation whereby you are forced to be unloved in return when you are sacrificing so much but recieving nothing. Draw the lines for a reciprocal rewarding relationship or quit.
    Make this month your month of self regulation, self realization and self discovery.

    STAY BLESSED
    FOUR ZONES TO LEAVE IN THIS 2025 Will you shock and surprise yourself by leaving these four zones? 1. COMFORT ZONE. You must take calculated risks if you want to achieve any meaningful goals. Stop folding hands and wasting time. Go out and get busy 2. BLAME ZONE. Blaming the government, your parents, ancestors, friends and other family members for not helping you is a waste of time. Work hard and take full responsibility of your failures and non achievements. 3. PITY ZONE. Stop being dramatic by using emotional tactics to fence off your inability to succeed. OK, you are unemployed for 5 years after graduation and you think the whole world is unfair to you? There is no fair world. Create and innovate with your skills and vow never to depend on anyone again. Employ yourself 4. HOSTAGE ZONE. Never allow others to treat you as a doormat in your relationships. Stop the hostage situation whereby you are forced to be unloved in return when you are sacrificing so much but recieving nothing. Draw the lines for a reciprocal rewarding relationship or quit. Make this month your month of self regulation, self realization and self discovery. STAY BLESSED 🙏❤️
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    💻📲YOUR NETWORK CREATES YOUR NETWORTH💰💵💸 | WhatsApp Channel
    💻📲YOUR NETWORK CREATES YOUR NETWORTH💰💵💸 WhatsApp Channel. *What If One Opportunity Comes And Change Your Sorrows To A Smile?* *Are you in Zimbabwe, South Africa, Botswana, Mozambique, Malawi, Namibia, Zambia, Nigeria, USA (etc?* _*I AM LOOKING FOR TWO GROUPS OF PEOPLE*_ *1) The YES l am Employed BUT!!!* � *My my income does not meet all my needs* � *I am working but im drowning in debts* � *I can't afford a house or car of my dreams* � *I wish that l had extra source of income* � *l can't afford to travel overseas for holiday* � *My time with family is limited because of my demanding Job* � *l am in need of financial freedom* *2) The YES I am unemployed group BUT!!!* � *l need a house and a Car* � *l need to be financially stable* � *l want to build a legacy for my family* � *l am tired of sitting at home and i need to earn* App or call +263775246643 *Sharing Is Caring*. 1.2K followers
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  • Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

    3 John 1:11 KJV .. leave a heart ♥ for your God 🙏🏿❤‍🩹
    Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God. 3 John 1:11 KJV .. leave a heart ♥ for your God 🙏🏿❤‍🩹
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  • Machiavelli: "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
    Seneca: "Virtue is the only true good."

    Machiavelli says power justifies the means.
    Seneca says character is everything.
    Which one is right?
    Machiavelli: "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both." Seneca: "Virtue is the only true good." Machiavelli says power justifies the means. Seneca says character is everything. Which one is right?
    0 Commentarios 0 Acciones 133 Views
  • If U married another person and not DE one U loved and dated,HV it in mind DAT whenever U meet UR Ex S€x is 95% sure.
    If U married another person and not DE one U loved and dated,HV it in mind DAT whenever U meet UR Ex S€x is 95% sure.
    0 Commentarios 0 Acciones 113 Views
  • BREAKING NEWS: Reason Why Antelopes Commit Suicide After Their Partner Dies.

    The dik-dik is the tiniest antelope species. They prefer to live in couples and are most frequently observed in the desert areas of Eastern and Southern Africa.

    Diki-diks can run up to 42 kilometers per hour in order to outrun predators like lions, leopards, and cheetahs. It’s incredible that every member of this species commits suicide after separating from their mate.

    It is typical for the surviving companion to die soon after the first, whether through natural calamities or attacks by animals. Family members are typically the most dependable people you will ever encounter in terms of loyalty.

    When someone commits suicide, they give their body to a cannibal.

    Dik-diks frequently kill themselves after losing a loved one because of the excruciating agony they go through and the social isolation that follows. When a woman has just given birth, this tradition is scrupulously observed. Most children don’t genuinely feel ready to live apart from their parents until they are grownups.

    They are so easily destroyed by other creatures that the warden dik-diks estimate their lifespan to be little over four years. Furthermore, gloves are made inhumanely, requiring contact with the skin of these creatures.
    BREAKING NEWS: Reason Why Antelopes Commit Suicide After Their Partner Dies. The dik-dik is the tiniest antelope species. They prefer to live in couples and are most frequently observed in the desert areas of Eastern and Southern Africa. Diki-diks can run up to 42 kilometers per hour in order to outrun predators like lions, leopards, and cheetahs. It’s incredible that every member of this species commits suicide after separating from their mate. It is typical for the surviving companion to die soon after the first, whether through natural calamities or attacks by animals. Family members are typically the most dependable people you will ever encounter in terms of loyalty. When someone commits suicide, they give their body to a cannibal. Dik-diks frequently kill themselves after losing a loved one because of the excruciating agony they go through and the social isolation that follows. When a woman has just given birth, this tradition is scrupulously observed. Most children don’t genuinely feel ready to live apart from their parents until they are grownups. They are so easily destroyed by other creatures that the warden dik-diks estimate their lifespan to be little over four years. Furthermore, gloves are made inhumanely, requiring contact with the skin of these creatures.
    0 Commentarios 1 Acciones 171 Views
  • *THE RESTORER'S DAILY GUIDE*

    DATE: WEDNESDAY 11TH JUNE 2025

    THEME: *STAND OUT!*

    MEMORIZE
    John 15:19
    If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

    READ
    1 John 2:15-17
    [15]Do not love or cherish the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him.
    [16]For all that is in the world–the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one's own resources or in the stability of earthly things]–these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself].
    [17]And the world passes away and disappears, and with it the forbidden cravings (the passionate desires, the lust) of it; but he who does the will of God and carries out His purposes in his life abides (remains) forever.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    *Loving the world is proof of lack of love for the LORD.*

    MESSAGE
    God did not call us to like the world or to be liked by the world, He called us to be His light to this dark world; and we do that by standing out as godly people.

    We are not called to fit into this world but to stand out and stand tall enough to make a difference with our Christ-like lives.

    We can not be pleasing to this world no matter how much we seek its validation and approval.

    This world hates Jesus Christ our Lord, we should never love the world that killed our Saviour. To love the world is to betray our dear Lord and Saviour.

    A world that crucified a perfect man like Jesus Christ will stop at nothing to destroy all who follow the Lord Jesus Christ.

    We should, therefore, not be looking for anything else from this world other than to save its lost souls for the LORD.

    If you live seeking the acceptance of this world, you will die suffering from the rejection of the world.

    God's approval and applause are all you need to win in this life and be graciously accepted and celebrated in the world to come.

    The only difference between us and this "sin-infested" world is Jesus Christ in us and the "Christ-lessness" in the world.

    Therefore, my beloved, do not seek validation from the world that hated our Lord and Saviour enough to crucify Him.

    If the world does not want my Saviour, I do not want the world either. It is strange to love the world that killed our Saviour and Lord and still claim to be following Him...

    Who is on the LORD'S SIDE???

    STAND OUT NOW!!!

    ACTION STEPS
    1. Prayerfully meditate on today's devotional guide.
    2. Be determined to make a difference by strictly following the ways of the LORD always. Damn any consequences for following the LORD.
    3. Fear nothing and no one else if you truly fear the LORD. He is the ultimate in the universe.

    REMEMBER
    *Loving the world is proof of lack of love for the LORD.*

    PRAYERS
    Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for today's devotional guide. I receive grace to truly follow you acceptably and faithfully to the end in Jesus' name. Amen.

    AUTHOR: JEDIDIAH DAVID

    DAILY READING: 2 Chronicles 12-14; Psalms 115-117; Proverbs 14; Matthew 24-25; Revelation 12-14;

    HYMN
    Arise and follow Me !
    Alas, my Lord, I hear Thy word,
    But Thee Thyself I can but dimly see ;
    Help me to rise and follow Thee.

    2
    Arise and follow Me !
    But I am bound to earth's cold ground
    By many a tie : Come, Lord, and set me free,
    Then I shall rise and follow Thee.

    3
    Arise and follow Me !
    The way is rough, but 'tis enough
    That through my life Thou wilt my
    Leader be ;
    And I will boldly follow Thee.

    4
    Arise and follow Me ! [tomb,
    In mist and gloom, through tears and
    Up golden streets and by the crystal sea,
    I shall forever follow Thee,

    PLEASE SHARE
    *THE RESTORER'S DAILY GUIDE* DATE: WEDNESDAY 11TH JUNE 2025 THEME: *STAND OUT!* MEMORIZE John 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. READ 1 John 2:15-17 [15]Do not love or cherish the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. [16]For all that is in the world–the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one's own resources or in the stability of earthly things]–these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself]. [17]And the world passes away and disappears, and with it the forbidden cravings (the passionate desires, the lust) of it; but he who does the will of God and carries out His purposes in his life abides (remains) forever. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY *Loving the world is proof of lack of love for the LORD.* MESSAGE God did not call us to like the world or to be liked by the world, He called us to be His light to this dark world; and we do that by standing out as godly people. We are not called to fit into this world but to stand out and stand tall enough to make a difference with our Christ-like lives. We can not be pleasing to this world no matter how much we seek its validation and approval. This world hates Jesus Christ our Lord, we should never love the world that killed our Saviour. To love the world is to betray our dear Lord and Saviour. A world that crucified a perfect man like Jesus Christ will stop at nothing to destroy all who follow the Lord Jesus Christ. We should, therefore, not be looking for anything else from this world other than to save its lost souls for the LORD. If you live seeking the acceptance of this world, you will die suffering from the rejection of the world. God's approval and applause are all you need to win in this life and be graciously accepted and celebrated in the world to come. The only difference between us and this "sin-infested" world is Jesus Christ in us and the "Christ-lessness" in the world. Therefore, my beloved, do not seek validation from the world that hated our Lord and Saviour enough to crucify Him. If the world does not want my Saviour, I do not want the world either. It is strange to love the world that killed our Saviour and Lord and still claim to be following Him... Who is on the LORD'S SIDE??? STAND OUT NOW!!! ACTION STEPS 1. Prayerfully meditate on today's devotional guide. 2. Be determined to make a difference by strictly following the ways of the LORD always. Damn any consequences for following the LORD. 3. Fear nothing and no one else if you truly fear the LORD. He is the ultimate in the universe. REMEMBER *Loving the world is proof of lack of love for the LORD.* PRAYERS Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for today's devotional guide. I receive grace to truly follow you acceptably and faithfully to the end in Jesus' name. Amen. AUTHOR: JEDIDIAH DAVID DAILY READING: 2 Chronicles 12-14; Psalms 115-117; Proverbs 14; Matthew 24-25; Revelation 12-14; HYMN Arise and follow Me ! Alas, my Lord, I hear Thy word, But Thee Thyself I can but dimly see ; Help me to rise and follow Thee. 2 Arise and follow Me ! But I am bound to earth's cold ground By many a tie : Come, Lord, and set me free, Then I shall rise and follow Thee. 3 Arise and follow Me ! The way is rough, but 'tis enough That through my life Thou wilt my Leader be ; And I will boldly follow Thee. 4 Arise and follow Me ! [tomb, In mist and gloom, through tears and Up golden streets and by the crystal sea, I shall forever follow Thee, PLEASE SHARE
    Like
    2
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  • Good morning my beloved brethren. I trust you are doing great , Praise God!

    TODAY'S WORD OF GOD:

    "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. Matthew 24:35"

    Following the Lord Jesus Christ in His speech and conduct makes greatness inevitable.
    The greatest creation of God is heaven, followed by the earth. If these two greatest creations can pass away, what should you and I depend on to remain?
    It is clear from the opening scripture that only the *Word of God stands forever* ; hence, to be able to remain, stand firm, and be relevant at all times depends on the Word of God.

    Dear beloved, there is greatness in you because you are born again, but to manifest that greatness for the world to see and glorify God, you have to take the Holy Scriptures seriously and meditate on them day and night (Psalms 1:2-3).
    May the Word of God make us as great as God wants us to be in Jesus Christ name. Be blessed!
    SHALOM!
    Good morning my beloved brethren. I trust you are doing great 👍, Praise God! TODAY'S WORD OF GOD: "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. Matthew 24:35" Following the Lord Jesus Christ in His speech and conduct makes greatness inevitable. The greatest creation of God is heaven, followed by the earth. If these two greatest creations can pass away, what should you and I depend on to remain? It is clear from the opening scripture that only the *Word of God stands forever* ; hence, to be able to remain, stand firm, and be relevant at all times depends on the Word of God. Dear beloved, there is greatness in you because you are born again, but to manifest that greatness for the world to see and glorify God, you have to take the Holy Scriptures seriously and meditate on them day and night (Psalms 1:2-3). May the Word of God make us as great as God wants us to be in Jesus Christ name. Be blessed! SHALOM!
    2 Commentarios 1 Acciones 92 Views
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