Aunty Cynthia came to our house. She is my mom’s sister.
Ever since she arrived, she has been a thorn in my flesh—constantly disturbing me.
“Emmanuel, do this!”
“Emmanuel, do that!”
One day, I looked her straight in the eyes and told her:
“I am David and you are Goliath. I will bring you down—you must surely leave this house.”
The fact that she laughed at my threat got me really infuriated.
So, I swung into action, monitoring her every move.
Then one Monday, I overheard her on the phone saying “baby.”
I immediately ran to my mum and told her that her 26-year-old sister has a boyfriend and was calling him baby in our house.
Instead of supporting me, my mum scolded me and told me to mind my business. I knew that plan had failed.
I tried several other ways to nail her, but none were enough to send her packing.
Then one day, I caught her stealing meat from the pot!
I ran to tell my mum.
All she said, “She’s the one cooking, so she has to taste it.”
I told her that Aunty Cynthia took sizeable meat!
My mum shushed me, saying I was beginning to act like a gossip.
I tried to convince her, but she said she needed evidence to believe me.
That was when I realized I needed to catch her red-handed—on camera.
Three days later, my mum and dad were not yet home.
My elder siblings were outside playing, but as the last born, I knew I had a truth to uncover.
I took my brother’s phone and tiptoed to the kitchen.
Peeking through the slightly opened door, I saw her—dancing and shaking her body in another person’s house!
I waited patiently.
I knew she would taste the meat while cooking stew.
Jobless me stood there for almost 30 minutes.
Finally, she brought out already-prepared stock filled with meat she had cooked earlier.
I knew this was my moment.
I waited until she took a plate, scooped some sizeable portions of meat, and began eating.
That was when I brought out my phone and pressed the shutter button—not knowing the automatic flash was on!
The flash lit up the entire kitchen.
I had been compromised.
I immediately took to my heels!
She chased after me. As I ran from the kitchen to the living room, she slipped on the tiles and fell.
I stopped running and ran back to check on her.
The next thing I saw was slap and stars—followed by beating!
She beat me like a criminal in my father’s house.
To crown it all, she gave me extra knocks on the head, and my head was swollen.
My siblings ran inside, begging her to leave me alone, but she refused.
By the time my mum came back, my elder brother had already found a place to hang my leg.
I was acting like I wouldn’t see tomorrow.
My mum was angry seeing me in that condition—her favourite child that loves gossip? Oh no!
When my dad returned, he was angry too, but he didn’t say a word.
I knew then that she was finally leaving.
But why did it have to be at the expense of extra head?
The slap she gave me is still paining me.
After we narrated everything to my mum, she said nothing about the meat.
She was only angry that I was beaten like a piece of metal.
Everyone was happy when my mum said Aunty Cynthia would be leaving the next day.
I didn’t know nobody liked her from the start!
We had been liberated—and I paid the price.
The next morning, we helped her with her bags and reclaimed our house.
Guess what my dad said to us one week after we chased away my mum’s sister?
“My own sister will be coming to stay with us for some time.”
We all shouted right in front of him, NO
My dad replied:
“It’s final. If you don’t like it, go and build your own house!”
Anyway, my siblings and I have already made plans for the next visitor.
Even hot water is part of the plan.
Aunty Beetle-mouth?
No! She must not come. That woman doesn’t mind her business.
A story by EMMACK
Ever since she arrived, she has been a thorn in my flesh—constantly disturbing me.
“Emmanuel, do this!”
“Emmanuel, do that!”
One day, I looked her straight in the eyes and told her:
“I am David and you are Goliath. I will bring you down—you must surely leave this house.”
The fact that she laughed at my threat got me really infuriated.
So, I swung into action, monitoring her every move.
Then one Monday, I overheard her on the phone saying “baby.”
I immediately ran to my mum and told her that her 26-year-old sister has a boyfriend and was calling him baby in our house.
Instead of supporting me, my mum scolded me and told me to mind my business. I knew that plan had failed.
I tried several other ways to nail her, but none were enough to send her packing.
Then one day, I caught her stealing meat from the pot!
I ran to tell my mum.
All she said, “She’s the one cooking, so she has to taste it.”
I told her that Aunty Cynthia took sizeable meat!
My mum shushed me, saying I was beginning to act like a gossip.
I tried to convince her, but she said she needed evidence to believe me.
That was when I realized I needed to catch her red-handed—on camera.
Three days later, my mum and dad were not yet home.
My elder siblings were outside playing, but as the last born, I knew I had a truth to uncover.
I took my brother’s phone and tiptoed to the kitchen.
Peeking through the slightly opened door, I saw her—dancing and shaking her body in another person’s house!
I waited patiently.
I knew she would taste the meat while cooking stew.
Jobless me stood there for almost 30 minutes.
Finally, she brought out already-prepared stock filled with meat she had cooked earlier.
I knew this was my moment.
I waited until she took a plate, scooped some sizeable portions of meat, and began eating.
That was when I brought out my phone and pressed the shutter button—not knowing the automatic flash was on!
The flash lit up the entire kitchen.
I had been compromised.
I immediately took to my heels!
She chased after me. As I ran from the kitchen to the living room, she slipped on the tiles and fell.
I stopped running and ran back to check on her.
The next thing I saw was slap and stars—followed by beating!
She beat me like a criminal in my father’s house.
To crown it all, she gave me extra knocks on the head, and my head was swollen.
My siblings ran inside, begging her to leave me alone, but she refused.
By the time my mum came back, my elder brother had already found a place to hang my leg.
I was acting like I wouldn’t see tomorrow.
My mum was angry seeing me in that condition—her favourite child that loves gossip? Oh no!
When my dad returned, he was angry too, but he didn’t say a word.
I knew then that she was finally leaving.
But why did it have to be at the expense of extra head?
The slap she gave me is still paining me.
After we narrated everything to my mum, she said nothing about the meat.
She was only angry that I was beaten like a piece of metal.
Everyone was happy when my mum said Aunty Cynthia would be leaving the next day.
I didn’t know nobody liked her from the start!
We had been liberated—and I paid the price.
The next morning, we helped her with her bags and reclaimed our house.
Guess what my dad said to us one week after we chased away my mum’s sister?
“My own sister will be coming to stay with us for some time.”
We all shouted right in front of him, NO
My dad replied:
“It’s final. If you don’t like it, go and build your own house!”
Anyway, my siblings and I have already made plans for the next visitor.
Even hot water is part of the plan.
Aunty Beetle-mouth?
No! She must not come. That woman doesn’t mind her business.
A story by EMMACK
Aunty Cynthia came to our house. She is my mom’s sister.
Ever since she arrived, she has been a thorn in my flesh—constantly disturbing me.
“Emmanuel, do this!”
“Emmanuel, do that!”
One day, I looked her straight in the eyes and told her:
“I am David and you are Goliath. I will bring you down—you must surely leave this house.”
The fact that she laughed at my threat got me really infuriated.
So, I swung into action, monitoring her every move.
Then one Monday, I overheard her on the phone saying “baby.”
I immediately ran to my mum and told her that her 26-year-old sister has a boyfriend and was calling him baby in our house.
Instead of supporting me, my mum scolded me and told me to mind my business. I knew that plan had failed.
I tried several other ways to nail her, but none were enough to send her packing.
Then one day, I caught her stealing meat from the pot!
I ran to tell my mum.
All she said, “She’s the one cooking, so she has to taste it.”
I told her that Aunty Cynthia took sizeable meat!
My mum shushed me, saying I was beginning to act like a gossip.
I tried to convince her, but she said she needed evidence to believe me.
That was when I realized I needed to catch her red-handed—on camera.
Three days later, my mum and dad were not yet home.
My elder siblings were outside playing, but as the last born, I knew I had a truth to uncover.
I took my brother’s phone and tiptoed to the kitchen.
Peeking through the slightly opened door, I saw her—dancing and shaking her body in another person’s house!
I waited patiently.
I knew she would taste the meat while cooking stew.
Jobless me stood there for almost 30 minutes.
Finally, she brought out already-prepared stock filled with meat she had cooked earlier.
I knew this was my moment.
I waited until she took a plate, scooped some sizeable portions of meat, and began eating.
That was when I brought out my phone and pressed the shutter button—not knowing the automatic flash was on!
The flash lit up the entire kitchen.
I had been compromised.
I immediately took to my heels!
She chased after me. As I ran from the kitchen to the living room, she slipped on the tiles and fell.
I stopped running and ran back to check on her.
The next thing I saw was slap and stars—followed by beating!
She beat me like a criminal in my father’s house.
To crown it all, she gave me extra knocks on the head, and my head was swollen.
My siblings ran inside, begging her to leave me alone, but she refused.
By the time my mum came back, my elder brother had already found a place to hang my leg.
I was acting like I wouldn’t see tomorrow.
My mum was angry seeing me in that condition—her favourite child that loves gossip? Oh no!
When my dad returned, he was angry too, but he didn’t say a word.
I knew then that she was finally leaving.
But why did it have to be at the expense of extra head?
The slap she gave me is still paining me.
After we narrated everything to my mum, she said nothing about the meat.
She was only angry that I was beaten like a piece of metal.
Everyone was happy when my mum said Aunty Cynthia would be leaving the next day.
I didn’t know nobody liked her from the start!
We had been liberated—and I paid the price.
The next morning, we helped her with her bags and reclaimed our house.
Guess what my dad said to us one week after we chased away my mum’s sister?
“My own sister will be coming to stay with us for some time.”
We all shouted right in front of him, NO
My dad replied:
“It’s final. If you don’t like it, go and build your own house!”
Anyway, my siblings and I have already made plans for the next visitor.
Even hot water is part of the plan.
Aunty Beetle-mouth?
No! She must not come. That woman doesn’t mind her business.
A story by EMMACK
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