I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40. So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority. My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then. I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy" My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way. I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl. I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart. I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday. The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa. Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy, I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy" To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony. I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow. But hear this important and salient truth: Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful! SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN. ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR. THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT. THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN. LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40. So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority. My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then. I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy" My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way. I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl. I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart. I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday. The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa. Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy, I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy" To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony. I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow. But hear this important and salient truth: Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful! SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN. ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR. THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT. THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN. LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40. So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority. My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then. I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy" My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way. I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl. I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart. I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday. The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa. Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy, I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy" To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony. I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow. But hear this important and salient truth: Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful! SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN. ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR. THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT. THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN. LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

Responsibilities of a Father in a Family: _Primary Responsibilities:_ 1. Providing financial support 2. Emotional guidance and support 3. Disciplining and setting boundaries 4. Role-modeling values and behavior 5. Protecting and ensuring family safety _Emotional Support:_ 1. Listening and validating feelings 2. Offering comfort and reassurance 3. Encouraging open communication 4. Supporting partner's emotional needs 5. Modeling healthy emotional expression _Discipline and Guidance:_ 1. Setting clear expectations and rules 2. Teaching life skills and values 3. Encouraging responsibility and independence 4. Modeling respectful communication 5. Providing constructive feedback _Financial Provision:_ 1. Managing household finances 2. Providing for family's basic needs 3. Planning for future financial security 4. Saving for children's education 5. Ensuring family's economic stability _Role-Modeling:_ 1. Demonstrating integrity and honesty 2. Modeling respectful relationships 3. Teaching respect for authority 4. Encouraging physical and mental well-being 5. Embodying values and principles _Parenting Partnership:_ 1. Co-parenting with mother 2. Sharing childcare responsibilities 3. Collaborating on discipline and guidance 4. Supporting partner's parenting style 5. Maintaining united front in parenting _Community Involvement:_ 1. Participating in children's activities 2. Volunteering in community or school 3. Building relationships with neighbors 4. Role-modeling social responsibility 5. Fostering community connections _Personal Growth:_ 1. Pursuing personal interests and hobbies 2. Continuing education and self-improvement 3. Maintaining physical and mental health 4. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care 5. Seeking support and resources when needed _Influencing Children's Development:_ 1. Shaping moral and ethical values 2. Encouraging educational and career goals 3. Modeling healthy relationships 4. Teaching life skills and independence 5. Fostering emotional intelligence Remember: 1. Fatherhood is a unique and vital role. 2. Emotional support is crucial for family well-being. 3. Partnership with your spouse is essential. 4. Role-modeling values and behavior shapes children's development. 5. Seeking support is a sign of strength.

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40. So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority. My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then. I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy" My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way. I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl. I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart. I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday. The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa. Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy, I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy" To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came ​without​ his family to the burial ceremony. I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow. But hear this important and salient truth: Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful! SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN. ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR. THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT. THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN. LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US. Copied 🤍🥰 May God bless our families. Amen

THE BEST WAY TO BE A FATHER 1. BE THERE: ✅The biggest failure as a man is having a child and rejecting that child, abdicating your responsibility as a father, being quick to have sex and quicker to run away when pregnancy comes. Too many children are hurting because of a father who is alive but has disowned them, it makes the child grow feeling unwanted and unloved, it dents the child's self esteem and some become adults with a constant feeling of rejection. If you have a child, be there; no matter how bad things are between you and the mother of the child- be there; you owe it to your young one. 2. TELL YOUR DAUGHTER SHE IS BEAUTIFUL: ✅The first man to compliment a girl should be her father, the first man to take note of her beauty should be her dad. A girl should grow up convinced she is beautiful and feeling like a king's princess that even when boys and men try to woo her saying she's beautiful she responds "I know, dad has been telling me that for years". Too many girls fall for preying men because they are desperately looking for affection, they have daddy issues and had no encounter with a male figure who genuinely loved them before the preying men noticed their boobs and hips; so they fall prey to men who use compliments and give attention as a carrot to lure to a trap that leads to hurt. 3. MODEL MANHOOD TO THE SONS: ✅A boy comes into the world as a naive student who will absorb what the male figures around him teach. He can be taught the right way to be a man or be misled. He learns how to treat females whether good or bad from the men around him. He should learn proper manhood from the father. The father should model how best to treat and respect females, how to love as a man, how to work, how to provide, how to be a man of integrity. 4. EAT WITH YOUR FAMILY: ✅ Food brings people together, one of the greatest show of security to a child is when the dad makes time to share meals. 5. BE THE SPIRITUAL LEADER: ✅ The father should be the High Priest. He should lead the child/ children towards living a Godly life, he should be seen praying, reading God's word, living out a Godly life, loving. The child should be given a Godly foundation that will shape a stable future and the father should be seen submitting to the God who gave the child life and who makes parenthood possible. 6. LISTEN: ✅ A child with a father who loves to listen grows in confidence. When a child feels he/she can tell daddy anything, no battle will intimidate the child. Sometimes you don't have to say much, just sit back and pay attention. The first need of love is to be listened to, to be treated like how you feel and what you have to say is important. 7. GIVE ADVICE: ✅ A father should be there to offer counsel whether solicited or not. Children cry for direction. As a father, be involved in the process of the seeking of answers. Be open about your mistakes, your childhood, your lessons and your expectations of the child. Give advice not as a dictator whose word is final lest you isolate yourself from the child because the child can do what you ask yet fear and despise you; but help the child understand why you are insisting on your way, help the child understand your reasons, train your child to think through solutions; this way, he/ she will grow up with the self-sufficient capacity of making sound and wise decisions. 8. BE PRESENT: ✅ The father's presence should be felt, too many fathers have left parenting to the wife. The best test of love is the giving of time, do not fail this test. 9. REFRAIN FROM THROWING MONEY AT THE PROBLEM: ✅ No matter how rich you are, fatherhood is not done by throwing money at issues. When your child complains of your absence, when problems arise, when dealing with your child becomes a handful and you feel you have no time; don't use money to silence or appease the child. Fatherhood is a hands on approach, it will not be easy but its fruits are sweet. Don't escape through your ATM. Material things can contain a child for a while, but soon the child will look around and see empty things but no love from dad. 10. SHOW UP: ✅ Make daddy appearances; show up at your child's sports day, birthday, parent's day, graduation or any other special day. Make random visits to what your child cares alot about even if for a few minutes. Meet your child's friends briefly, let your child feel daddy's loving eyes are watching over me.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A FATHER IN A FAMILY : PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES : 1. Providing financial support 2. Emotional guidance and support 3. Disciplining and setting boundaries 4. Role-modeling values and behavior 5. Protecting and ensuring family safety EMOTIONAL SUPPORT : 1. Listening and validating feelings 2. Offering comfort and reassurance 3. Encouraging open communication 4. Supporting partner's emotional needs 5. Modeling healthy emotional expression DISCIPLINE AND GUIDANCE : 1. Setting clear expectations and rules 2. Teaching life skills and values 3. Encouraging responsibility and independence 4. Modeling respectful communication 5. Providing constructive feedback FINANCIAL PROVISION : 1. Managing household finances 2. Providing for family's basic needs 3. Planning for future financial security 4. Saving for children's education 5. Ensuring family's economic stability ROLE-MODELING : 1. Demonstrating integrity and honesty 2. Modeling respectful relationships 3. Teaching respect for authority 4. Encouraging physical and mental well-being 5. Embodying values and principles PARENTING PARTNERSHIP: 1. Co-parenting with mother 2. Sharing childcare responsibilities 3. Collaborating on discipline and guidance 4. Supporting partner's parenting style 5. Maintaining united front in parenting COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: 1. Participating in children's activities 2. Volunteering in community or school 3. Building relationships with neighbors 4. Role-modeling social responsibility 5. Fostering community connections PERSONAL GROWTH: 1. Pursuing personal interests and hobbies 2. Continuing education and self-improvement 3. Maintaining physical and mental health 4. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care 5. Seeking support and resources when needed INFLUENCING CHILDREN'S DEVELOPMENT: 1. Shaping moral and ethical values 2. Encouraging educational and career goals 3. Modeling healthy relationships 4. Teaching life skills and independence 5. Fostering emotional

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A FATHER IN A FAMILY : PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES : 1. Providing financial support 2. Emotional guidance and support 3. Disciplining and setting boundaries 4. Role-modeling values and behavior 5. Protecting and ensuring family safety EMOTIONAL SUPPORT : 1. Listening and validating feelings 2. Offering comfort and reassurance 3. Encouraging open communication 4. Supporting partner's emotional needs 5. Modeling healthy emotional expression DISCIPLINE AND GUIDANCE : 1. Setting clear expectations and rules 2. Teaching life skills and values 3. Encouraging responsibility and independence 4. Modeling respectful communication 5. Providing constructive feedback FINANCIAL PROVISION : 1. Managing household finances 2. Providing for family's basic needs 3. Planning for future financial security 4. Saving for children's education 5. Ensuring family's economic stability ROLE-MODELING : 1. Demonstrating integrity and honesty 2. Modeling respectful relationships 3. Teaching respect for authority 4. Encouraging physical and mental well-being 5. Embodying values and principles PARENTING PARTNERSHIP: 1. Co-parenting with mother 2. Sharing childcare responsibilities 3. Collaborating on discipline and guidance 4. Supporting partner's parenting style 5. Maintaining united front in parenting COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: 1. Participating in children's activities 2. Volunteering in community or school 3. Building relationships with neighbors 4. Role-modeling social responsibility 5. Fostering community connections PERSONAL GROWTH: 1. Pursuing personal interests and hobbies 2. Continuing education and self-improvement 3. Maintaining physical and mental health 4. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care 5. Seeking support and resources when needed INFLUENCING CHILDREN'S DEVELOPMENT: 1. Shaping moral and ethical values 2. Encouraging educational and career goals 3. Modeling healthy relationships 4. Teaching life skills and independence 5. Fostering emotional. Thanks

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