It's raining now at Abuja, where else is raining now?

*"BUHARI'S DOUBLE"*

“Matters miscellaneous,” as many a fellow commentator has graciously acknowledged, is the platform I patented back in my days at Rutam House for attending to a glut of occurrences in broad strokes and short takes, lest the people who make and the people who consume the news feel neglected.

Here, in all its eclecticism, is the bulletin du jour.

In journalistic reckoning, the case of Buhari’s Double has to be the top item.

Since 2017, so goes the tale reportedly originated by the fugitive leader of the Indigenous Peoples of Biafra (IPOB), Nigeria has been ruled by a Buhari look-alike, Jubril al Sudan, a native of Sudan — or Niger, take your pick. Buhari had died in the UK in 2017, where he was undergoing medical treatment.

Notwithstanding the fact that Queen Elizabeth had sent a message of condolence to the Nigerian government, the entrenched Cabal in Aso Rock had procured a Buhari double in Sudan and pressed him into service as Nigeria’s president.

Despite occasional stumbles and apparent loss of memory, the transition had gone so smoothly that the only tell-tale sign of the infernal switch was a scar on Jubril’s left earlobe that was not a part of Buhari’s profile.

Kanu, or whoever began the tale, and those who have been peddling it, should update their material.

I can report authoritatively that representatives of the Jubril family, having discovered the gigantic swindle, suddenly showed up in Abuja the other day and demanded to be compensated with a power-sharing arrangement at the federal level in perpetuity, plus 50 per cent of Nigeria’s oil revenues for ten years in the first instance. Failing this, they warned, they would tell their story to the whole world.

I can also reveal that the Nigerian authorities have entered into frantic negotiations with Jubril’s family to head off what is sure to earn a double entry in the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s Dirtiest and Worst-kept Secret. The UK authorities are mediating.

Meanwhile, dependable sources tell me that Abuja is close to unravelling the true identity of the fake Jew parading himself on faked foreign soil as Nnamdi Kanu.

(https://thenationonlineng.net/matters-miscellaneous-13/)

• (Published November 27, 2018, under Matters Miscellaneous)

The President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio, has approached the Court of Appeal to challenge the ruling of the Federal High Court in Abuja, which ordered the recall of Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan to the Senate following her suspension.

Good morning Abuja people please be good to people s because one day you will be no more what do you want them to say about you think about it

BREAKING: Akpabio Appeals Court Order To Reinstate Senator Natasha

The Senate President, Godswill Akpabio, has filed a notice of appeal challenging the judgment of Justice Binta Nyako of the Federal High Court in Abuja, which ordered the recall of Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan to the Senate following her controversial suspension.

MY ABUJA PEOPLE DO YOU AGREE???

What is it like to live in Abuja, Nigeria
Abuja is a beautiful city…you should expect nothing less, being the capital city. Also, like most other capital cities around the world, it is an expensive place to stay compared to other parts of the country.

The bulk of the expenses go into accommodation; and since you have that already taken care of by your company, you need not worry about that particular expense. Depending on where you end up staying, food may be expensive.

For your company to provide accommodation, I will assume that the accommodation will be located in the city center, where there is a steady supply of electricity and portable water supply. So you need not worry about that also.

Pump price of petrol is uniform across major cities in the country (145 Naira, which is about half a dollar) so it is pretty much affordable for someone of your caliber.

Crime rate is low in Abuja metropolis, which again I assume is where your company will put you.

You will enjoy your stay in Abuja but I will advise you to find some time to visit Lagos. Lagos is more fun than Abuja.

THE BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN ABUJA.

There are several places to live in Abuja, anywhere within the metropolis is good except for the high housing cost. Abuja is a quiet and clean city anyone who’s stable would love to live in.

Asokoro. Asokoro is one of the most high-class districts in Nigeria.

Jabi. Jabi can be considered the younger brother of Maitama and Asokoro, not quite as expensive to live in, but with pretty much all the benefits of residing in those two places.

Gwarinpa. ...
Lokogoma. ...
Jahi. ...
Apo. ...
Life Camp.

What advice would you give to someone who is moving to Abuja, Nigeria?
Abuja is the city of packaging!

Before I moved to Abuja, i lived in Edo State, Benin City precisely. I do not know if you know Benin but it's a very quiet and “normal” city. I used to hear and read about “the Abuja lifestyle” and I always wondered why people did so much. Till i got a job and moved to Abuja.

I will tell you a story and i will drop my points (or advice) within my story.

I am an Architect by profession and for someone who had practiced mostly in Edo State and a few times in Lagos, bringing my practice to a mega city wasn't as easy as I envisioned.

••If you want to meet people, Abuja is the place but then to take the part, you have to look the part.

I finally secured a meeting with a potential client I met online. We fixed a date to meet at a choice restaurant in Wuse II.

••Transportation is pretty cheap in Abuja.

I live in Dutse. I took a taxi to Wuse market. It's #150 from Dutse, then i joined another to my destination, #100. When i got there, i came down from the taxi, looking sharp but a bit tired and my client was just driving in as well. I walked up to him, greeted him and introduced myself and he asked “Did your car break down?” I innocently replied and said “No sir, I do not have a car yet”.

I noticed his disposition changed a bit. He didn't say anything more, we went in, had the meeting and we dispersed. He even offered to drop me. But he doesn't call me back. 2 weeks later, i call him and I ask about his job. He says “well, I'm not quite sure about you. I do not know an Architect who doesn't have a car. How would you go to site? Would you be jumping taxis all the time? I got another person who is Mobile. Maybe next time”.

I was shocked. Mostly because where i was coming from, nobody had ever told me that i needed a car to design a brilliant structure for anyone. But i had learnt a lesson.

••If you have to live in Abuja, you MUST have a car, and a clean one at that. Its a necessity. Somehow, it affects how people look at you and weigh you.

I secured another meeting with another client and this time i was wise enough to use an UBER. I didn't lose this job entirely, i secured only the design aspect but i lost the construction(also because I wasn't mobile).

••In Abuja, accommodation is cheap in extreme areas but a little more expensive in town.

The problem with staying in these areas is that you don't get to meet a lot of people who would eventually add anything meaningful to your life, and then if you eventually meet someone in town, and you have meetings with the person, going back home can be very stressful.

••There is alot of fake life in Abuja, if you are not careful, you will fall a victim.

••There is night life in Abuja, its not a crazy as Lagos but then if you are someone who is an extrovert, you would discover some really nice places.

••Abuja will teach you naturally how to be classy.

••If you are someone who has low self esteem, you will be carried away. If you are someone who has “big eyes” you will indulge in corrupt practices- you will do anything to belong.

When moving to Abuja, Come with the mindset of building connections, meet people that will change and grow your business and then take you to the next level of greatness.

Beyond this, every other thing is a walkover!

Play world... Abuja

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