If there's judgment attached to how you feel about someone else's decisions, that might be an opportunity to get out the mirror.
What is threatening about the choice they're making?
What would it mean about you if you did it?
How does it make you feel?
What does it remind you of?
People make decisions all the time that we disagree with or wouldn't make, and sometimes those decisions genuinely aren't going to benefit that person.
But they get to choose. They get to forge their own path, make their own mistakes, live their own life, and make different choices.
And when people aren't very confident in their own relationship with themselves, they tend to be very judgmental of other people.
When you find yourself heavily judging someone else's life choices, get curious about what you believe that decision means or represents?
What is that judgment trying to protect you from?
What would it mean about you or them if you just let them do this?
It's eliciting an emotion in you.
Meeting that emotion with presence; see if you can allow the feeling.
Can you meet that judgment with curiosity?
Becoming aware of our own self-protective instincts can help us discover what painful beliefs exist beneath deep beneath the surface, and then we can begin to soften them.
What story are you projecting onto this person?
Maybe you're judgmental of someone's clothing because you wouldn't feel confident wearing something so different.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's parenting because it touches on pain you felt when you were a child.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's lifestyle because you're too afraid to step out of the confines of what "normalcy" looks like.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's easy-going nature because you feel like you always have to be the responsible one.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's career choice because they have opportunities you'd love to have.
Get curious.
What is your judgment trying to protect you from feeling?
What is threatening about the choice they're making?
What would it mean about you if you did it?
How does it make you feel?
What does it remind you of?
People make decisions all the time that we disagree with or wouldn't make, and sometimes those decisions genuinely aren't going to benefit that person.
But they get to choose. They get to forge their own path, make their own mistakes, live their own life, and make different choices.
And when people aren't very confident in their own relationship with themselves, they tend to be very judgmental of other people.
When you find yourself heavily judging someone else's life choices, get curious about what you believe that decision means or represents?
What is that judgment trying to protect you from?
What would it mean about you or them if you just let them do this?
It's eliciting an emotion in you.
Meeting that emotion with presence; see if you can allow the feeling.
Can you meet that judgment with curiosity?
Becoming aware of our own self-protective instincts can help us discover what painful beliefs exist beneath deep beneath the surface, and then we can begin to soften them.
What story are you projecting onto this person?
Maybe you're judgmental of someone's clothing because you wouldn't feel confident wearing something so different.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's parenting because it touches on pain you felt when you were a child.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's lifestyle because you're too afraid to step out of the confines of what "normalcy" looks like.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's easy-going nature because you feel like you always have to be the responsible one.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's career choice because they have opportunities you'd love to have.
Get curious.
What is your judgment trying to protect you from feeling?
If there's judgment attached to how you feel about someone else's decisions, that might be an opportunity to get out the mirror.
What is threatening about the choice they're making?
What would it mean about you if you did it?
How does it make you feel?
What does it remind you of?
People make decisions all the time that we disagree with or wouldn't make, and sometimes those decisions genuinely aren't going to benefit that person.
But they get to choose. They get to forge their own path, make their own mistakes, live their own life, and make different choices.
And when people aren't very confident in their own relationship with themselves, they tend to be very judgmental of other people.
When you find yourself heavily judging someone else's life choices, get curious about what you believe that decision means or represents?
What is that judgment trying to protect you from?
What would it mean about you or them if you just let them do this?
It's eliciting an emotion in you.
Meeting that emotion with presence; see if you can allow the feeling.
Can you meet that judgment with curiosity?
Becoming aware of our own self-protective instincts can help us discover what painful beliefs exist beneath deep beneath the surface, and then we can begin to soften them.
What story are you projecting onto this person?
Maybe you're judgmental of someone's clothing because you wouldn't feel confident wearing something so different.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's parenting because it touches on pain you felt when you were a child.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's lifestyle because you're too afraid to step out of the confines of what "normalcy" looks like.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's easy-going nature because you feel like you always have to be the responsible one.
Maybe you're judgmental of someone else's career choice because they have opportunities you'd love to have.
Get curious.
What is your judgment trying to protect you from feeling?
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