I don’t know who made the rule that toothpaste must be pressed from the bottom. But my wife? She squeezes it from the middle like a terrorist.
And for years, I’ve been tolerating it.
Until yesterday.
I walked into the bathroom, already stressed from traffic and NEPA wahala.
*
I picked up the toothpaste.
Again, she had squeezed it from the middle.
Like say I never warned her before.
That’s when I snapped.
I marched into the bedroom and said:
“Why do you enjoy disorganising this house? Every day, I arrange the toothpaste. Every day, you scatter it. Why???”
*
She blinked twice. Sat up.
“All this shout because of Colgate?”
“It's not just Colgate! It’s about respect and order!”
She stood up slowly and said,
“Okay. Let’s talk about order.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t know I had just entered Judgement Day.
She opened a file from her memory.
*
"Since we’re talking about habits, why do you leave your socks in the sitting room?
Why do you open the cereal and never close it back?
Why do you wear singlet and hang it on the door like decoration?
Why do you pee and forget to flush?
Why do you eat plantain and drop the oil-stained plate on the bed?"
At this point, I regretted my whole life.
Even toothpaste was looking at me like, “Oga you don enter am.”
*
She didn’t stop.
"Why do you snore like a generator?
Why do you watch football like they’re paying you?
Why do you say 'I’ll do it' and never do it?
Why do you love me in silence but leave your socks everywhere like they’re sending me a message?!”
I was quiet.
The toothpaste fell from my hand.
*
That night, we didn’t talk again. Silent treatment.
Until around 2:37am, I woke up to pee and saw her sleeping. Her hand was on the pillow, softly breathing. Hair all messy. Face peaceful.
I stood there looking at her for almost 2 minutes.
That's when it hit me.
This woman is not the problem.
We’re just two different adults trying to survive adulthood under one roof.
*
In the morning, I walked to her with a smile.
I held her from behind and whispered,
“Let’s buy two toothpastes. One for you, one for me.”
She turned and laughed, “Abi na two bedrooms you want too?”
We laughed. We hugged. We moved on.
Love is not always candlelight and Instagram pictures.
Sometimes, it’s understanding that toothpaste is not the real problem.
*
Moral of the story?
Marriage is not a war. It’s a dance. If your partner steps on your toes, don't fight. Just find a new rhythm together.
And sometimes… buy separate toothpastes.
©Gift Okolo
MORE STORIES LIKE THIS ARE AVAILABLE OM PUR OFFICIAL STORY BLOG
https://pboisworld.blogspot.com/2025/06/billionaire-heiress-pretends-to-be-poor.htmlI don’t know who made the rule that toothpaste must be pressed from the bottom. But my wife? She squeezes it from the middle like a terrorist.
And for years, I’ve been tolerating it.
Until yesterday.
I walked into the bathroom, already stressed from traffic and NEPA wahala.
*
I picked up the toothpaste.
Again, she had squeezed it from the middle.
Like say I never warned her before.
That’s when I snapped.
I marched into the bedroom and said:
“Why do you enjoy disorganising this house? Every day, I arrange the toothpaste. Every day, you scatter it. Why???”
*
She blinked twice. Sat up.
“All this shout because of Colgate?”
“It's not just Colgate! It’s about respect and order!”
She stood up slowly and said,
“Okay. Let’s talk about order.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t know I had just entered Judgement Day.
She opened a file from her memory.
*
"Since we’re talking about habits, why do you leave your socks in the sitting room?
Why do you open the cereal and never close it back?
Why do you wear singlet and hang it on the door like decoration?
Why do you pee and forget to flush?😀
Why do you eat plantain and drop the oil-stained plate on the bed?"
At this point, I regretted my whole life.
Even toothpaste was looking at me like, “Oga you don enter am.”
*
She didn’t stop.
"Why do you snore like a generator?
Why do you watch football like they’re paying you?
Why do you say 'I’ll do it' and never do it?
Why do you love me in silence but leave your socks everywhere like they’re sending me a message?!”
I was quiet.
The toothpaste fell from my hand.😂
*
That night, we didn’t talk again. Silent treatment.
Until around 2:37am, I woke up to pee and saw her sleeping. Her hand was on the pillow, softly breathing. Hair all messy. Face peaceful.
I stood there looking at her for almost 2 minutes.
That's when it hit me.
This woman is not the problem.
We’re just two different adults trying to survive adulthood under one roof.
*
In the morning, I walked to her with a smile.
I held her from behind and whispered,
“Let’s buy two toothpastes. One for you, one for me.”
She turned and laughed, “Abi na two bedrooms you want too?”
We laughed. We hugged. We moved on.
Love is not always candlelight and Instagram pictures.
Sometimes, it’s understanding that toothpaste is not the real problem.
*
Moral of the story?
Marriage is not a war. It’s a dance. If your partner steps on your toes, don't fight. Just find a new rhythm together.
And sometimes… buy separate toothpastes. 😂
©Gift Okolo
MORE STORIES LIKE THIS ARE AVAILABLE OM PUR OFFICIAL STORY BLOG 👇👇
https://pboisworld.blogspot.com/2025/06/billionaire-heiress-pretends-to-be-poor.html
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