I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.

So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy"

My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy,
I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy"

To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!

SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.

ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.

THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT.

THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN.

LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.

So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy"

My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy,
I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy"

To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!

SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.

ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.

THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT.

THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN.

LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

Never beat the Drums, if you are not ready to Dance.
Never get married until you have finished being single. In Marriage, there's no privacy or this is how I live my life. Marriage required commitment, accountability, openness and honesty, sincerity, the ability to "Let Go" and say "I'm sorry" even when you are right for the sake of PEACE.

Never invite someone into your life if you don't have the space for them in your life to begin with.

Never open up a person's heart with no intention of marrying them when they fall in love with you. Playing with people's feelings is bad and is heart breaking.

Take my advice and if you're not ready to step up to the plate, take your hands off another person's future.

.
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#loveit #marriage #letsgo #loveislove #fypシ゚viralシfypシ゚viralシalシ #god

Responsibilities of a Father in a Family:

_Primary Responsibilities:_

1. Providing financial support
2. Emotional guidance and support
3. Disciplining and setting boundaries
4. Role-modeling values and behavior
5. Protecting and ensuring family safety

_Emotional Support:_

1. Listening and validating feelings
2. Offering comfort and reassurance
3. Encouraging open communication
4. Supporting partner's emotional needs
5. Modeling healthy emotional expression

_Discipline and Guidance:_

1. Setting clear expectations and rules
2. Teaching life skills and values
3. Encouraging responsibility and independence
4. Modeling respectful communication
5. Providing constructive feedback

_Financial Provision:_

1. Managing household finances
2. Providing for family's basic needs
3. Planning for future financial security
4. Saving for children's education
5. Ensuring family's economic stability

_Role-Modeling:_

1. Demonstrating integrity and honesty
2. Modeling respectful relationships
3. Teaching respect for authority
4. Encouraging physical and mental well-being
5. Embodying values and principles

_Parenting Partnership:_

1. Co-parenting with mother
2. Sharing childcare responsibilities
3. Collaborating on discipline and guidance
4. Supporting partner's parenting style
5. Maintaining united front in parenting

_Community Involvement:_

1. Participating in children's activities
2. Volunteering in community or school
3. Building relationships with neighbors
4. Role-modeling social responsibility
5. Fostering community connections

_Personal Growth:_

1. Pursuing personal interests and hobbies
2. Continuing education and self-improvement
3. Maintaining physical and mental health
4. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care
5. Seeking support and resources when needed

_Influencing Children's Development:_

1. Shaping moral and ethical values
2. Encouraging educational and career goals
3. Modeling healthy relationships
4. Teaching life skills and independence
5. Fostering emotional intelligence

Remember:

1. Fatherhood is a unique and vital role.
2. Emotional support is crucial for family well-being.
3. Partnership with your spouse is essential.
4. Role-modeling values and behavior shapes children's development.
5. Seeking support is a sign of strength.

10 SIGNS YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

A strong and healthy relationship requires continuous effort, understanding, and mutual respect. However, even the most loving partnerships can hit a rough patch. Recognizing the signs that your relationship needs attention is the first step toward making things better. Let’s explore the key indicators and how to address them with positivity and determination.

1. Communication Has Become Difficult

One of the most common signs that a relationship needs work is when communication breaks down. Do you find it hard to express your feelings or share your thoughts without fear of being judged? Misunderstandings, frequent arguments, or a lack of meaningful conversations can create distance.

Motivational Tip: Open and honest communication is the backbone of any relationship. Start by practicing active listening. Set aside time daily to talk openly with your partner, without distractions. Remember, it's okay to agree to disagree as long as respect is maintained.

2. You Feel Emotionally Distant

If you or your partner feel emotionally disconnected, it’s a clear sign that something needs attention. Emotional distance can manifest as indifference, lack of intimacy, or feeling unimportant in the relationship.

Motivational Tip: Rebuild emotional intimacy by spending quality time together. Simple acts like holding hands, sharing a laugh, or reminiscing about happy memories can help reignite the bond.

3. Frequent Arguments Over Small Issues

Disagreements are normal, but constant bickering over trivial matters can indicate underlying unresolved issues. These recurring conflicts can lead to frustration and resentment if not addressed.

Motivational Tip: When disagreements arise, take a step back and reflect on the root cause. Approach the discussion calmly, focusing on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Remember, you’re a team, not opponents.
4. Lack of Appreciation or Gratitude

When was the last time you genuinely appreciated your partner? Taking each other for granted is a subtle but harmful sign of neglect in a relationship. Feeling unacknowledged can erode the foundation of love and trust.

Motivational Tip: Start noticing and appreciating the little things your partner does. A heartfelt "thank you" or a kind gesture can go a long way in strengthening your bond.

5. You Avoid Spending Time Together

If you find yourself preferring to spend time apart rather than together, it’s a red flag. This avoidance might stem from unresolved conflicts, boredom, or a lack of shared interests.

Motivational Tip: Reignite the joy of being together by exploring new activities or revisiting old hobbies that you both enjoy. Shared experiences create lasting memories and help reconnect.

6. There’s No Longer a Sense of Partnership

A relationship thrives on teamwork. If one person is carrying most of the emotional or practical load, it can lead to feelings of imbalance and resentment.

Motivational Tip: Work together to share responsibilities and make decisions as a team. A balanced partnership fosters mutual respect and strengthens the connection.

7. Physical Intimacy Has Declined

Physical intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic relationship. A noticeable decline in affection, such as hugs, kisses, or sexual intimacy, can signal emotional or physical distance.

Motivational Tip: Talk openly about your feelings and desires with your partner. Rekindling physical intimacy starts with emotional closeness, so focus on rebuilding trust and comfort.

8. You Feel More Negative Than Positive

If negative emotions like frustration, anger, or sadness outweigh the positive feelings in your relationship, it’s time to take action. A relationship should be a source of joy and support, not stress.

Motivational Tip: Focus on the positives. Recall the reasons you fell in love and remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities. Cultivate gratitude and positivity to shift the emotional balance.

9. You’re Not Working Towards Shared Goals

Couples grow stronger when they have shared dreams and goals. If you find that your priorities and future plans no longer align, it’s a sign that you need to work on reconnecting.

Motivational Tip: Have an open discussion about your aspirations and find common ground. Setting goals together can strengthen your sense of purpose and partnership.

10. You Feel Stuck

Feeling stuck or stagnant in a relationship can be discouraging. It often happens when couples stop putting in the effort to grow together.

Motivational Tip: Relationships evolve over time, and it’s important to adapt. Invest in self-improvement and encourage your partner to do the same. Growth as individuals often translates to growth as a couple.

Final Thoughts

Recognizing these signs is not a reason to lose hope but an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your relationship. Every relationship goes through ups and downs, but with effort, understanding, and mutual commitment .

Follow me Maxwell Derrickson for more

10 SIGNS YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

A strong and healthy relationship requires continuous effort, understanding, and mutual respect. However, even the most loving partnerships can hit a rough patch. Recognizing the signs that your relationship needs attention is the first step toward making things better. Let’s explore the key indicators and how to address them with positivity and determination.

1. Communication Has Become Difficult

One of the most common signs that a relationship needs work is when communication breaks down. Do you find it hard to express your feelings or share your thoughts without fear of being judged? Misunderstandings, frequent arguments, or a lack of meaningful conversations can create distance.

Motivational Tip: Open and honest communication is the backbone of any relationship. Start by practicing active listening. Set aside time daily to talk openly with your partner, without distractions. Remember, it's okay to agree to disagree as long as respect is maintained.

2. You Feel Emotionally Distant

If you or your partner feel emotionally disconnected, it’s a clear sign that something needs attention. Emotional distance can manifest as indifference, lack of intimacy, or feeling unimportant in the relationship.

Motivational Tip: Rebuild emotional intimacy by spending quality time together. Simple acts like holding hands, sharing a laugh, or reminiscing about happy memories can help reignite the bond.

3. Frequent Arguments Over Small Issues

Disagreements are normal, but constant bickering over trivial matters can indicate underlying unresolved issues. These recurring conflicts can lead to frustration and resentment if not addressed.

Motivational Tip: When disagreements arise, take a step back and reflect on the root cause. Approach the discussion calmly, focusing on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Remember, you’re a team, not opponents.
4. Lack of Appreciation or Gratitude

When was the last time you genuinely appreciated your partner? Taking each other for granted is a subtle but harmful sign of neglect in a relationship. Feeling unacknowledged can erode the foundation of love and trust.

Motivational Tip: Start noticing and appreciating the little things your partner does. A heartfelt "thank you" or a kind gesture can go a long way in strengthening your bond.

5. You Avoid Spending Time Together

If you find yourself preferring to spend time apart rather than together, it’s a red flag. This avoidance might stem from unresolved conflicts, boredom, or a lack of shared interests.

Motivational Tip: Reignite the joy of being together by exploring new activities or revisiting old hobbies that you both enjoy. Shared experiences create lasting memories and help reconnect.

6. There’s No Longer a Sense of Partnership

A relationship thrives on teamwork. If one person is carrying most of the emotional or practical load, it can lead to feelings of imbalance and resentment.

Motivational Tip: Work together to share responsibilities and make decisions as a team. A balanced partnership fosters mutual respect and strengthens the connection.

7. Physical Intimacy Has Declined

Physical intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic relationship. A noticeable decline in affection, such as hugs, kisses, or sexual intimacy, can signal emotional or physical distance.

Motivational Tip: Talk openly about your feelings and desires with your partner. Rekindling physical intimacy starts with emotional closeness, so focus on rebuilding trust and comfort.

8. You Feel More Negative Than Positive

If negative emotions like frustration, anger, or sadness outweigh the positive feelings in your relationship, it’s time to take action. A relationship should be a source of joy and support, not stress.

Motivational Tip: Focus on the positives. Recall the reasons you fell in love and remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities. Cultivate gratitude and positivity to shift the emotional balance.

9. You’re Not Working Towards Shared Goals

Couples grow stronger when they have shared dreams and goals. If you find that your priorities and future plans no longer align, it’s a sign that you need to work on reconnecting.

Motivational Tip: Have an open discussion about your aspirations and find common ground. Setting goals together can strengthen your sense of purpose and partnership.

10. You Feel Stuck

Feeling stuck or stagnant in a relationship can be discouraging. It often happens when couples stop putting in the effort to grow together.

Motivational Tip: Relationships evolve over time, and it’s important to adapt. Invest in self-improvement and encourage your partner to do the same. Growth as individuals often translates to growth as a couple.

Final Thoughts

Recognizing these signs is not a reason to lose hope but an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your relationship. Every relationship goes through ups and downs, but with effort, understanding, and mutual commitment .

THOSE WHO CROWN KINGS DO NOT LOOK LIKE KINGS ; BEWARE !!!

There was this poor man who *wrote a book at the age of 40* and decided to launch it on his Birthday.

He had no money to fund the launching and so, *he decided to seek help from a millionaire* in his community.

He made a visit to the Millionaires home and after they exchanged pleasantries, he told his host what brought him.

The Millionaire told him to take out a piece of paper and pen.
He said, " I will give you a test. If you pass it, I will give you the money you need and if you fail, I will still give you the money"

He then told him to write down the names of 10 people who could give him 10k each for his book during the launch.

Surprisingly, the man could not write even 3 names.

Now, take a glass of water and let me tell you something..

It is not enough to have talent and skills. You must understand the power of building valuable relationship.

It was a wise man that said, *your network is directly proportional to your net worth.*

*_Relationship is a currency_*

Relationship is a stream of income. Everything in this life actually reproduces on the basis of relationship.

See eh, *Who likes you in this life matters.*

Men are lifted through men.

*Many of us are talented but we lack a cup bearer* to tell the King that there is a Joseph that can interpret dreams.

*Who you know matters a lot in this life.* Don't say it doesn't matter. It does.

There are heights and opportunities you will never attain if you don't understand *the power of Keeping Valuable Relationships* .

When they say, *turn and greet your neighbour at times, you don't even know who you are talking to* .

That might be the CEO of a company. But sometimes, *we despise people based on their outward looks and judge them wrongly.*

Have this wisdom am sharing with you.

That person you sit with, or the colleagues at work that you look down on, may be the ones that will lead you to your destiny helper because you have no idea who they know.

Sometimes, it takes just a recommendation to change your story.

*Don't despise men in Life.* You will need them one day.

Sometimes *those who crown Kings don't look like kings* and may never become kings but they can help you wear the crown.
Again,
Shut the door of relationship gently; you may need to use it tomorrow.

Please value even the least person, because, that person might be the one to wear you the crown !

*Your full participation in any group or environment you meet yourself will speak volume when you need the group in future*

LETS NOT FORGET
EVERY ONE IS A PLUS!!

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.

So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children...."I'm busy"

My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. "I'm very very busy,
I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy"

To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came ​without​ his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!

SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.

ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.

THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT.

THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN.

LET'S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

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May God bless our families. Amen

"Do something today that your future self will thank you for!

A great reminder to make the most of the present moment and invest in our future selves!
Good morning my neighbours.

THE DANGER OF FORCING LOVE

It is dangerous to force yourself on someone or marry someone who does not love you. When there is no love in marriage, the wedding ring becomes a little handcuff and your marriage becomes a prison yard instead of a paradise on earth.

A man who does not love a woman during courtship will find it difficult to cherish her after getting married. There are people who will never love you no matter how much you show love to them. That's the reality of life. Love is a choice. Don't force yourself on anyone.

Don't keep fighting to be with someone who isn’t fighting to be with you, you can’t keep holding onto someone who is not holding onto you, you can’t keep planning your future with someone who doesn’t plan theirs with you, you can’t keep running back to someone who is running away from you, you can’t keep loving and caring about someone who shows that they no longer love you, and you can’t keep taking someone as a priority yet they are taking you as their option.

Trust me, it’s a waste of time and energy. No matter how hard and hurting it is, you have to let go and open up a new chapter for your life. Because There are thousand of people who are praying and wishing to spend the rest of their lives with you!

Why kill yourself over someone who thinks he/she is doing you a big favor by being in a relationship with you.

You deserve to be happy, loved and cared for not to be sad all the time, to have sleepless nights, to cry and plead for someone’s love. Think about it.

You have to be in a relationship in which you are loved, celebrated, honored and not tolerated. But until you let go of the wrong person from your life, you can't see the right person for your life.

Sometimes We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reasons. But one thing is for sure, mistakes help us to find the right person. Know your place in people's life and act accordingly. It's not pride, it is self respect.