I thought he was cheating because there was this one particular lady he always talked about. On the phone, he would mention her name. He would be online very late at night, and I would wonder who he was chatting with. I would call late at night, and the call would be waiting. You'd ask him and he would say, "Don't be jealous. I'm talking to Afrakoma."

He told me Afrakoma was a family nurse who took care of his dad and mom, and at one point took care of his elder sister. He talked to her often because she was close to his ageing parents. It made sense, but he was only a man, and you can't take what a man tells you line, hook and sinker, so I watched his hands whenever he typed his password. I even videoed his finger while typing and studied the pattern until I got it.

He was sleeping one night when I took his phone and went straight to his messages. I searched for Afrakoma but didn't see the name anywhere in his recent chats. I had to search for the name to find it. Their last conversation was a month ago. I thought, "So this guy has been lying to me? A month ago, and she was always the name he mentioned?"

I went through their chat anyway. They were talking about a certain medicine and how he reacted to it differently. Afrakoma was the one advising my boyfriend and encouraging him not to stop taking the medicine since it was the only thing available to help his situation. I scrolled and scrolled until I got to where the medicine's name was mentioned and what the medicine was supposed to do.

My boyfriend was on antiretroviral medication. He had HIV and had been on the drug for a very long time. They were talking about the last test that showed he was undetectable and what it meant going forward. My heart was racing. I thought I was positive, too. I started shaking. I put the phone down quietly and didn't utter a word about my discovery.

I did my own tests at different facilities. I was negative. I made the sign of the cross and decided to pull away from him slowly, without giving him a reason. He loved me so much. I knew he would break down and cry and do everything to convince me to stay if I told him what I'd found.

When it became obvious to him that I was leaving, he asked why, and I told him, "It's not about you. It's about me. I'm going through a lot, so please give me some time to find myself. When things come back to normal, I will come back."

It's been five months already. We talk as friends. He asks how I'm doing, but I keep telling him I'm still missing, so I'm trying hard to find myself. He told me, "You're not coming back, are you?" I answered, "I don't know, but don't wait. Just get someone else."