“5 THINGS NO ONE TALKS ABOUT BEFORE MARRIAGE"
Sometime ago, I told a married friend of mine I was going to wash his car for free in exchange for some delicious marriage advice that they hardly discuss in Church.
I mean like practical everyday things my partner and I should know before we walk down the altar, not the regular 'submit to your husband, love your wife like you love yourself, only missionary style is godly, respect your in-laws, and all other things they teach us on the surface that we have heard and tired.
I washed his car cheerfully after he shared these 5 deep facts with me, I believe it will bless you too...
05- EMOTIONAL TEMPERAMENTS: Do not wait until marriage to find out how deeply emotional your partner can be, and to what limits.
What are his breaking points? How does she deal with a fight? How do we apologize after a disagreement? Is keeping mute or ignoring your calls her own idea of avoiding a fight? Does he love to be left alone after an argument as a way of avoiding a confrontation? It is so important that you talk about these things when the 'I love you' is still fresh, to help you have a good knowledge of your partner's reactions when they come.
04- HOLIDAYS AND TRADITIONS: Wow! Holidays can be so wonderful together, but where do we spend most of our holidays? And with whose parents do we spend it with, mine or yours? Is it okay for my family and relatives to come around for a holiday? Whose family traditions do we pass on to our children?
You might think 'naaa, this isn't important' , but wait until marriage when one mother in-law decides it's her right to be visiting the family every weekend while the other mother in-law is not happy she only gets to see her grandchildren once every Christmas.
03- SPIRITUAL TEMPERAMENTS: it is not enough to know that your partner is a Christian, God-fearing, and all other pretty Christian stories we make up to qualify a spouse!
How is his relationship with God? How does she reflect her excitement about God with other people around her? Does your partner charge you to get intimate with God? Does he approve of morning devotions? Does he approve of raising an altar for God in the house? What are their beliefs about tithing and seeding? Where do they stand concerning faith principles like first fruits and charity? I hope you know it is possible to have a prayer strength of 6 hours and still not believe in seeding.
02- HOUSE HOLD DUTIES: this is one thing we never talk about. Women do all the chores right? But WRONG! Unless you are comfortable with playing the ‘complete house wife duty’, then you’ve got to talk about who does the what, at what times, and at what conditions? Whose turn to look after the baby, who drops them off at school and back, who takes the car to work, who pounds the fufu? Etc. Heheheeheh, I can hear some unromantic men saying “Godforbid I cannot pound any fufu after paying the bride price”. Lol
01- MONEY STUFF: some of us are more comfortable with our boyfriend taking us to exotic places to eat and drink lavishly, buy us expensive gift presents, and spend big on extravagant dates. But we forget to pay attention to his ability to manage his finances, spending habits, credit history, and bills. What will our budget look like? How should we save? How do we invest? How much does she earn? What is she bringing to the table?
00- SEX: hehehe, I would have loved to talked about this too, but the strong things he shared with me, hmmmm, if I share them here some people will start dreaming dreams and seeing visions in this cold weather. Soo bye bye!
There are a lot more cardinal points than the above listed five, things like love language, family orientation, business sense, adversity quotient, core values and principles e.t.c. but sadly, the majority focus more on physical appearance, pocket strength and sexual ability. We live in a society where men especially are weighed by their pocket strengths and gbola size. Frivolities have become priorities in these present days and it's so sad.
But God will Help us to choose right & love right.
If you see a future with that partner of yours, and you haven’t taken time to deal with these topics yet, please hurry and get on with it. Because this will become the big talking point a day after the WEDDING.
Written by: Peter D'Rock
Sometime ago, I told a married friend of mine I was going to wash his car for free in exchange for some delicious marriage advice that they hardly discuss in Church.
I mean like practical everyday things my partner and I should know before we walk down the altar, not the regular 'submit to your husband, love your wife like you love yourself, only missionary style is godly, respect your in-laws, and all other things they teach us on the surface that we have heard and tired.
I washed his car cheerfully after he shared these 5 deep facts with me, I believe it will bless you too...
05- EMOTIONAL TEMPERAMENTS: Do not wait until marriage to find out how deeply emotional your partner can be, and to what limits.
What are his breaking points? How does she deal with a fight? How do we apologize after a disagreement? Is keeping mute or ignoring your calls her own idea of avoiding a fight? Does he love to be left alone after an argument as a way of avoiding a confrontation? It is so important that you talk about these things when the 'I love you' is still fresh, to help you have a good knowledge of your partner's reactions when they come.
04- HOLIDAYS AND TRADITIONS: Wow! Holidays can be so wonderful together, but where do we spend most of our holidays? And with whose parents do we spend it with, mine or yours? Is it okay for my family and relatives to come around for a holiday? Whose family traditions do we pass on to our children?
You might think 'naaa, this isn't important' , but wait until marriage when one mother in-law decides it's her right to be visiting the family every weekend while the other mother in-law is not happy she only gets to see her grandchildren once every Christmas.
03- SPIRITUAL TEMPERAMENTS: it is not enough to know that your partner is a Christian, God-fearing, and all other pretty Christian stories we make up to qualify a spouse!
How is his relationship with God? How does she reflect her excitement about God with other people around her? Does your partner charge you to get intimate with God? Does he approve of morning devotions? Does he approve of raising an altar for God in the house? What are their beliefs about tithing and seeding? Where do they stand concerning faith principles like first fruits and charity? I hope you know it is possible to have a prayer strength of 6 hours and still not believe in seeding.
02- HOUSE HOLD DUTIES: this is one thing we never talk about. Women do all the chores right? But WRONG! Unless you are comfortable with playing the ‘complete house wife duty’, then you’ve got to talk about who does the what, at what times, and at what conditions? Whose turn to look after the baby, who drops them off at school and back, who takes the car to work, who pounds the fufu? Etc. Heheheeheh, I can hear some unromantic men saying “Godforbid I cannot pound any fufu after paying the bride price”. Lol
01- MONEY STUFF: some of us are more comfortable with our boyfriend taking us to exotic places to eat and drink lavishly, buy us expensive gift presents, and spend big on extravagant dates. But we forget to pay attention to his ability to manage his finances, spending habits, credit history, and bills. What will our budget look like? How should we save? How do we invest? How much does she earn? What is she bringing to the table?
00- SEX: hehehe, I would have loved to talked about this too, but the strong things he shared with me, hmmmm, if I share them here some people will start dreaming dreams and seeing visions in this cold weather. Soo bye bye!
There are a lot more cardinal points than the above listed five, things like love language, family orientation, business sense, adversity quotient, core values and principles e.t.c. but sadly, the majority focus more on physical appearance, pocket strength and sexual ability. We live in a society where men especially are weighed by their pocket strengths and gbola size. Frivolities have become priorities in these present days and it's so sad.
But God will Help us to choose right & love right.
If you see a future with that partner of yours, and you haven’t taken time to deal with these topics yet, please hurry and get on with it. Because this will become the big talking point a day after the WEDDING.
Written by: Peter D'Rock
“5 THINGS NO ONE TALKS ABOUT BEFORE MARRIAGE"
Sometime ago, I told a married friend of mine I was going to wash his car for free in exchange for some delicious marriage advice that they hardly discuss in Church.
I mean like practical everyday things my partner and I should know before we walk down the altar, not the regular 'submit to your husband, love your wife like you love yourself, only missionary style is godly, respect your in-laws, and all other things they teach us on the surface that we have heard and tired.
I washed his car cheerfully after he shared these 5 deep facts with me, I believe it will bless you too...
05- EMOTIONAL TEMPERAMENTS: Do not wait until marriage to find out how deeply emotional your partner can be, and to what limits.
What are his breaking points? How does she deal with a fight? How do we apologize after a disagreement? Is keeping mute or ignoring your calls her own idea of avoiding a fight? Does he love to be left alone after an argument as a way of avoiding a confrontation? It is so important that you talk about these things when the 'I love you' is still fresh, to help you have a good knowledge of your partner's reactions when they come.
04- HOLIDAYS AND TRADITIONS: Wow! Holidays can be so wonderful together, but where do we spend most of our holidays? And with whose parents do we spend it with, mine or yours? Is it okay for my family and relatives to come around for a holiday? Whose family traditions do we pass on to our children?
You might think 'naaa, this isn't important' , but wait until marriage when one mother in-law decides it's her right to be visiting the family every weekend while the other mother in-law is not happy she only gets to see her grandchildren once every Christmas.
03- SPIRITUAL TEMPERAMENTS: it is not enough to know that your partner is a Christian, God-fearing, and all other pretty Christian stories we make up to qualify a spouse!
How is his relationship with God? How does she reflect her excitement about God with other people around her? Does your partner charge you to get intimate with God? Does he approve of morning devotions? Does he approve of raising an altar for God in the house? What are their beliefs about tithing and seeding? Where do they stand concerning faith principles like first fruits and charity? I hope you know it is possible to have a prayer strength of 6 hours and still not believe in seeding.
02- HOUSE HOLD DUTIES: this is one thing we never talk about. Women do all the chores right? But WRONG! Unless you are comfortable with playing the ‘complete house wife duty’, then you’ve got to talk about who does the what, at what times, and at what conditions? Whose turn to look after the baby, who drops them off at school and back, who takes the car to work, who pounds the fufu? Etc. Heheheeheh, I can hear some unromantic men saying “Godforbid I cannot pound any fufu after paying the bride price”. Lol
01- MONEY STUFF: some of us are more comfortable with our boyfriend taking us to exotic places to eat and drink lavishly, buy us expensive gift presents, and spend big on extravagant dates. But we forget to pay attention to his ability to manage his finances, spending habits, credit history, and bills. What will our budget look like? How should we save? How do we invest? How much does she earn? What is she bringing to the table?
00- SEX: hehehe, I would have loved to talked about this too, but the strong things he shared with me, hmmmm, if I share them here some people will start dreaming dreams and seeing visions in this cold weather. Soo bye bye!
There are a lot more cardinal points than the above listed five, things like love language, family orientation, business sense, adversity quotient, core values and principles e.t.c. but sadly, the majority focus more on physical appearance, pocket strength and sexual ability. We live in a society where men especially are weighed by their pocket strengths and gbola size. Frivolities have become priorities in these present days and it's so sad.
But God will Help us to choose right & love right.
If you see a future with that partner of yours, and you haven’t taken time to deal with these topics yet, please hurry and get on with it. Because this will become the big talking point a day after the WEDDING.
Written by: Peter D'Rock
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