Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without.

Let me share an experience.

I met someone while roaming the streets of Facebook back in 2021. We got talking and before I knew it, I fell—hard. At least, that’s what I thought it was—love. It was so effortless, so smooth, like it was meant to be. He was just a fresh Corper trying to find his feet, and I didn’t care that he didn’t have money or a concrete plan for the future. There was no promise of forever, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to love someone, to be there for someone... and be loved in return. And yes, I loved him.

But life doesn’t always give us what we hope for.

For two years, I poured myself into him. Every drop of affection, every ounce of my energy, my prayers, my patience—I gave it all. I carried us like my life depended on it. I overlooked the late replies, the unreciprocated effort, the empty promises, the emotional absence. I kept showing up, even when he didn’t. Until one day... I looked in the mirror and realized the woman staring back at me was exhausted. Not just tired, but emotionally drained, forgotten, and fading. That’s when I knew—I had to stop.

Not because I stopped loving him... but because I finally remembered I needed to love me more.

So I stepped back. I started rediscovering myself—my peace, my joy, my voice, my worth. I cried some nights. I missed him on others. But I kept going. Slowly, the fog lifted. I remembered the sound of my own laughter, the glow of my own light, the power of being whole all by myself.

And then... just like in the movies, he came back.

He came back with apologies, with memories, with regrets. He said he missed me, that he realized what he lost. But he wasn’t coming back for the woman I had become. He came back searching for the girl who would do anything to keep him—the girl who loved blindly and endlessly, even when it hurt.

But she no longer existed.

In her place stood a woman who had learned. A woman who no longer begs to be seen, heard, or loved. A woman who understands that love isn't meant to cost your self-worth. That peace is too expensive to trade for temporary affection. That real love—true, reciprocal love—starts with yourself.

He came back wanting her.
But I chose me.

Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without.

Let me share an experience.

I met someone while roaming the streets of Facebook back in 2021. We got talking and before I knew it, I fell—hard. At least, that’s what I thought it was—love. It was so effortless, so smooth, like it was meant to be. He was just a fresh Corper trying to find his feet, and I didn’t care that he didn’t have money or a concrete plan for the future. There was no promise of forever, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to love someone, to be there for someone... and be loved in return. And yes, I loved him.

But life doesn’t always give us what we hope for.

For two years, I poured myself into him. Every drop of affection, every ounce of my energy, my prayers, my patience—I gave it all. I carried us like my life depended on it. I overlooked the late replies, the unreciprocated effort, the empty promises, the emotional absence. I kept showing up, even when he didn’t. Until one day... I looked in the mirror and realized the woman staring back at me was exhausted. Not just tired, but emotionally drained, forgotten, and fading. That’s when I knew—I had to stop.

Not because I stopped loving him... but because I finally remembered I needed to love me more.

So I stepped back. I started rediscovering myself—my peace, my joy, my voice, my worth. I cried some nights. I missed him on others. But I kept going. Slowly, the fog lifted. I remembered the sound of my own laughter, the glow of my own light, the power of being whole all by myself.

And then... just like in the movies, he came back.

He came back with apologies, with memories, with regrets. He said he missed me, that he realized what he lost. But he wasn’t coming back for the woman I had become. He came back searching for the girl who would do anything to keep him—the girl who loved blindly and endlessly, even when it hurt.

But she no longer existed.

In her place stood a woman who had learned. A woman who no longer begs to be seen, heard, or loved. A woman who understands that love isn't meant to cost your self-worth. That peace is too expensive to trade for temporary affection. That real love—true, reciprocal love—starts with yourself.

He came back wanting her.
But I chose me.

GROWTH AND MARRIAGE

1. Marry someone you can grow with

2. You may be a grown up but if you are not grown inside you will be difficult to relate with

3. Let your growth together as a couple be holistic. Grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally, socially, sexually and financially. Don't just focus on one aspect

4. It is frustrating to be married to someone who has no personal hunger for growth. Growth is first personal before it manifests as a couple

5. Sometimes troubles will come in your marriage to cause you two to grow in patience, communication and teamwork. Embrace challenges. Couples that have grown together handle challenges better

6. When you don't see growth in your marriage, it is easy to give up on it. Growth encourages more effort and investment

7. Your spouse might be more grown in some areas than you, be willing to learn

8. You might be more grown in some areas than your spouse, be willing to teach

9. No marriage is perfect, but what you two should be aiming at is growth

10. If you don't grow as a couple then being parents will overwhelm you

11. The more you celebrate the growth in your marriage rather than what is wrong in your marriage, the stronger your marriage will become

12. Appreciate the growth your spouse makes no matter how small to encourage him/her. It is a process, not an event

13. When you are working on your own personal growth you will not be jealous or insecure about the growth of your spouse's career or financial gain

14. For any marriage to grow it needs deliberate watering, nurturing and weeding. It won't happen by accident

15. You both grow faster and more united when you have a joint vision

16. Don't try and copy the same growth of other couples. Each couple is unique

17. As you grow as a couple, your preferences and patterns will change; you may not like the same music, the same gifts, the same destination spots you used to when younger; but love should be a constant

18. In case you two do fall financially, through bad choices, veer away from God or things collapse or seem to be coming to an end; together come back up. Every couple has storms. Sometimes the growth after the fall is greater and stronger. Don't give up, keep walking together

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Welcome to Safe Space — a sanctuary for the soul, the heart, and the mind.

Here, we embrace healing, growth, and real talks. This channel is a gentle refuge where stories are told, voices are heard, emotions are honored, and no one is judged. Whether you're navigating mental health struggles, rediscovering your identity, healing from pain, or simply seeking peace, Safe Space is for you.

You’ll find a blend of emotional wellness content, inspiring voiceovers, affirmations, real-life confessions, brotherhood/ sisterhood chats, and spiritual encouragement. We also explore healing through creative expression—spoken word, journaling, storytelling, and more.

This is a place for both men women, for dreamers, for the hurting and the healing. A space where faith meets vulnerability, where your truth is welcome, and your journey is respected.

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