THE NIGHT SHE CRIED AFTER SEX They had finished making love. Silence and calm had returned to their bedroom after moaning and the swinging of the bed. He held his wife so close. He could feel her breathing. Then she started crying. "Honey what is wrong? Did I hurt you? I am sorry" the husband pleaded holding her tightly. "No no no! These are tears of joy" said the wife with tears falling down her cheeks. "Oh! I am that great in bed?" asked the cheeky husband. She squeezed him with a hug and curled herself on him and said "You are great to me" He kissed her forehead. She passed her finger on his back and said, "In my past, séx brought me alot of pain and regrets. I have been used, dumped and abûsed and left feeling like a séx object, I have dated men who got tired of me and dumped me as soon as they got my body. Men who I thought they were making love to me, only to find out they were séxing other women, I wasn't special. I got so used to thinking séx equals emotional pain and emptiness; and then you came along" He kissed her chin. "You were not shy about finding me sexually attractive as you got to know me, but you made it clear that you are after more than just my body, you wanted to know me for who I am beyond my skin. Years later, here on our bed I feel loved. You have been gentle with me, you have taken care of me through the years, you speak to me gently and with love consistently, you've become my best friend. This is special to me as it is to you... You know me. I am nâked before you; not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. It is so easy to be physically náked but it takes a special kind of love to be emotionally náked and vulnerable. I have struggled to be vulnerable in my past because of how I was judged for my vulnerability. But with you i get vulnerable at ease. I trust you with me, all these years, you have proven that I can let my guard down and let you love me." "I love you" he said then kissed her. "You are beautiful inside and out" he added. "Look at you turning me on again. Men think that what turns a woman on is the size of the Pénis, money, dirty words or a built body; but actually what turns a grown woman on is special treatment. Because you have shown me you are not just about sex but my well-being, I can't help but find you sexy. You have made me so free with you that I am not ashamed of my sexuality, you have taught me secrets about my body as I learn me with you. Orgasm is sweetest when you are moaning for the man you not only love, but who also loves you" "I love pleasing you. I love making you smile" he told her, kissing her fingers. "I am so horny right now" she said. "Darling, but my Big Man is down right now, you already climaxed him. Give me like thirty minutes to get hard again, or you want me to go down on you?" he asked. She said. "I am so horny for your embrace. Just hold me, you are the man in whose arms I feel safe" They held each other close till they slept. May you touch not only your spouse's body, but more so, your spouse's heart. FOBCARES ✍️

So there I was, sitting in a packed Lagos danfo, minding my business, when my stomach did gbo gbo gbo gbo gbo. I knew that sound. It was the sound of impending doom. Now, before I continue, let me tell you something. Nigerian beans is not your friend. The previous night, I had eaten a mountain of beans and dodo, washed it down with cold Fanta, and even had the audacity to sleep peacefully. That peace ended in that bus. The trip was going smoothly. The conductor was shouting his usual "Oshodi! Ikeja! Enter with your change o!" and everything was normal… until I felt it. That deep, unsettling pressure in my belly. The type that warns you, "If you don’t release me now, I’ll disgrace you publicly." I tried to squeeze my butt cheeks together. I prayed. I even tried breathing exercises. But my stomach was not having it. And then, my body betrayed me. Prrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! It was not just loud. It was mic check one-two, one-two loud. It had bass, tremble, and echo. It was like a trumpet from heaven. The bus went silent. Even the conductor stopped shouting. People turned. Mothers held their children closer. A man at the back whispered, “Jesus is Lord.” And then, the worst part; my crush, Sade, was sitting right beside me. Sade, the girl I had been planning to toast for months. The one I had been rehearsing smooth lines for. The one I had imagined texting me, "You’re so funny, babe.” Now, instead of funny, I was just… farty. She turned to look at me, her face a mix of horror and betrayal. "Ah-ah, Morris… why?" Why?? My sister, if I had an answer, I would have given you! The smell started spreading. People started covering their noses. Someone at the back shouted, "Driver, stop! This one don mess finish!" The driver, a wicked man, just laughed and said, "Who fart, make e pay extra money o!" I wanted to die. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I thought of pretending it wasn’t me, but Sade was already looking at me like I had personally offended her ancestors. The man beside me moved away and said, "Young man, you need deliverance.” Long story short, I got down two stops early and walked the rest of the way, ashamed and broken. Sade never spoke to me again. Let this be a lesson to all of yo. NEVER eat beans before entering public transport. Or at least, develop silent-fart technology. *FOBCARES ✍️*