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"My strength is not in how loudly I speak, but in how softly I stay."

"I’ve broken before. But each time, I come back a little softer. A little wiser. Still standing."

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She Always Uses Drugs Twice Before Coming to Bed Every Night
Episode 1

The first time I noticed it, I thought it was harmless. Maybe even normal. My wife, Simi, would excuse herself every night around 10:15 p.m., just before we went to bed. She’d disappear into the bathroom, and I’d hear the tap run, the medicine cabinet creak, and then silence—followed by two sharp clicks. Sometimes, a faint sound like something being unwrapped. Then she’d come out with a smile, kiss me softly on the cheek, and slip into bed like nothing happened. At first, I thought she was just brushing her teeth or taking her vitamins. I mean, she’d always been a little obsessive about nightly routines. Skincare, candles, prayer. But one night, curiosity got the best of me.

She had forgotten to lock the bathroom door.

I walked in.

And I saw it.

Two small white pills. Her hand shaking as she brought them to her lips. Her eyes closed tightly. She wasn’t calm—she was desperate. She swallowed them dry, without water, like someone used to the bitterness. Then she turned to find me standing there. Frozen. Her face changed instantly.

“Why are you in here?” she snapped.

“I just… I didn’t know you were taking medication,” I stammered.

“I have headaches,” she replied too quickly.

Headaches?

Every night?

For the last eight months?

I didn’t push it then. I just nodded. But that night, while she slept soundly beside me, I stayed awake. Thinking. Watching. I remembered moments—how she’d sometimes stare at the wall for minutes before blinking. How she flinched when I touched her unexpectedly. How she sometimes forgot things we talked about hours earlier. I told myself it was stress. Work. The pressure of trying to conceive.

But deep inside, something didn’t feel right.

I started watching more closely. She never missed a dose. Two pills, same time, same order. Always before sex. Always before sleep. And after each dose, she became warmer, looser, more intimate. But if she skipped it—like the night we got home late from a wedding—she avoided my touch entirely, claiming exhaustion.

I tried asking again. She shut down.

“I said it’s nothing,” she hissed. “Stop treating me like a patient.”

But I couldn’t stop.

One day, when she left for work, I searched the bathroom. I found the pills tucked deep inside an old lipstick box. No label. Just small, round, off-white tablets. I took one to a pharmacist friend. He examined it, then looked at me oddly.

“These aren’t for headaches,” he said. “This is Diazepam. A strong sedative. People use this when they can’t sleep. Or when they’re battling anxiety. But in some cases… it’s abused. Especially in combination with other substances.”

Abused?

By Simi?

My Simi?

When I confronted her that night, she didn’t even deny it. She just stared at me with eyes so tired they looked older than her face.

“I need it,” she said quietly. “I can’t sleep without it. I can’t… be touched without it.”

My heart dropped.

“What do you mean?”

She looked away. And whispered the words that would haunt me forever:

“Because when I close my eyes, I don’t see you—I see them.”

To be continued

*THE RESTORER'S DAILY GUIDE*

DATE: TUESDAY 29TH JULY 2025

THEME: *LEANING ON GOD'S EVERLASTING ARMS*

MEMORIZE
Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.

READ
Psalms 34:1-7
I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.
I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
*God's arms are the strongest, and they're everlasting.*

MESSAGE
A couple of years ago, an airbus crashed from the air and down into the Atlantic ocean. Several lives were lost in that unfortunate plane crash. However, there was a young man on that same plane. His seat was detached after the crash that shattered the aircraft. And whilst he was sinking down into the ocean, he felt a massive hand pulling him up with speed and power. This mighty hand was underneath his seat... He couldn't fathom what it was. Here, he was expecting his death by drowning since he did not die through the crash.
He started to struggle, off the hand went, and then he prayed whilst gulping down the dirty water, and then came the hand again this time round, pushing him out to the shore and he alone survived the ill-fated flight.

The mystery of his survival is today's focus.

*The earth is a war zone where men are systematically being wearied by satan through strategic battles and the pressures of life.*

The strength for Destiny is being depleted through bombardments of attacks from hell because hell is on a mission to stress out God's saints. The target of satan is to get God's chosen people engaged blindly with issues that are tailored to get them exhausted.

The aim is to stop God's people halfway.
The truth is that many people are tired, and many have already given up.

*Finishing well and strong is God’s perfect plan for us, but Finishing strong is a function of deliberately remaining strong.*

*However, no one can be strong on his or her own without the Lord.*

Beloved, it is not unlikely that you may be going through stuff at the moment; my counsel is, lean on the everlasting arms of the LORD. He is a very present help in time of need.

Those who must enjoy the safety of God's everlasting arms must learn to make the eternal God their refuge.

Jesus Christ is the secret place of the most High. Anyone in Christ Jesus is hiding in the tabernacle of eternity.

Finally, We must learn to trust in God always and not be afraid.
*God's arms are the strongest, and they're everlasting; they last longer than all our troubles.*

His everlasting arms will shield and keep us from all evil from now until the end of all ends.

ACTION STEPS
1. Turn over your life to the Lord Jesus Christ today and be sure of your salvation.
2. Spend quality time daily in God's Word and prayers to build up strength.
3. Ensure you belong to a strong local church where you worship and serve God.
*Be intentional about your walk with God.*

REMEMBER
*God's arms are the strongest, and they're everlasting.*

PRAYERS
Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for today's devotional guide. Hide me and my household in your strong tower always in Jesus' name. Amen.

AUTHOR: JEDIDIAH DAVID

DAILY READING: Psalms 115-118; Ephesians 5-6;

HYMN
Loved with everlasting love,
Led by grace that love to know ;
Spirit, breathing from above,
Thou hast taught me it is so !
Oh this full and perfect peace !
Oh this transport all divine !
In a love which cannot cease,
I am His, and He is mine ;
In a love which cannot cease,
I am His, and He is mine.

2
Heaven above is softer blue,
Earth around is sweeter green !
Something lives in every hue
Christless eyes have never seen :
Birds with gladder songs o'erflow,
Flowers with deeper beauties shine,
Since I know, as now I know,
I am His, and He is mine.

3
Things that once were wild alarms
Cannot now disturb my rest ;
Closed in everlasting arms,
Pillowed on the loving breast.
Oh to lie for ever here,
Doubt and care and self resign,
While He whispers in my ear —
I am His, and He is mine !

4
His for ever, only His ;
Who the Lord and me shall part !
Ah, with what a rest of bliss
Christ can fill the loving heart !
Heaven and earth may fade and flee,
First-born light in gloom decline ;
But, while God and I shall be,
I am His and He is mine.

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“Joy isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet and soft and barely noticeable — and still enough.”

“Slow days, small joys, soft moments — that’s the good stuff.”

“You’re allowed to choose a calm life. One that’s soft, slow, and yours.”

**Title: “The Day I Chose Silence”**

It was a rainy Saturday evening. My wife and I had just returned from a tense family meeting. The car ride home had been silent, thick with unspoken emotions. The moment we stepped inside, it happened—she exploded.

Words flew like arrows. Sharp. Accusing. Emotional.

She was angry about how I’d handled something with her relatives. And while she vented, my ego begged me to respond. To defend myself. To match her voice. To win.

But something inside me whispered: *Don’t.*

So, I stayed silent.

Not the silence of pride, but the silence of wisdom.

I let her speak. I watched her, not with judgment, but with patience. And when she paused, expecting a counterattack, I simply said, “I hear you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

That broke something.

Her anger turned into tears. She sat down, softer now. “I just want you to stand up for me,” she said.

In that moment, I realized—it wasn’t about the family. It was about her heart.

That silence saved us.

If I had argued back, I would’ve won the fight and lost her trust. But choosing peace over pride built a bridge instead of a wall.

**Lesson**: In marriage, silence isn’t weakness. Sometimes, it’s strength. A wise pause can prevent a lasting scar.